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The Lord Ruler's perfect capital city, Luthadel, is doing the impossible: rebelling. Skaa half-breeds are being taught the power of Allomancy, something that the Lord Ruler's obligators said only existed in the nobility. The enslaved skaa, with their murderous benefactor, now fight back against a living god's oppression.

So, the Inquisition was formed. The nobles begin to fear assassination from all sides. The times of nobility Mistborn killing each other are over. The Steel Inquisitors look for aristocrat traitors and insurgent skaa, and the skaa try with all their strength to merely survive. The Lord Ruler's perfect Final Empire is slowly devolving into chaos.

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Comatose's Content

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#2964018 Lucien Faarskar

Posted by Comatose on 07 December 2018 - 12:58 AM in Steel Ministry

Approved from me as well. Thanks for making the changes.

#2964012 MBI World-Hoppers?

Posted by Comatose on 03 December 2018 - 01:55 PM in General Discussions

Youll need to get a character accepted before you can start effecting the plot in even minor ways, let alone major ones like that. Id avoid getting ahead of yourself.

We already have 10 cycles with scheduled time jumps outlined, which will take the foreseeable future to complete.

#2964010 Zero - Skaa Pewterarm

Posted by Comatose on 01 December 2018 - 08:54 PM in Player Characters

Hi Lord Kronos!

There are some very interesting elements to this character - I am excited to work on him with you. Sorry for the delay - thank-you for your patience.

Some of my comments are small changes. The main substantive thing I'd like to see is a little more flesh on the personality section. Right now "angry at the world, but overall a good guy" doesn't give us much to make him distinctive. I'd advise you to try to think about what makes him who he is - how has his mother's death, or his relationship with Alistair changed him? Did being an only child shape him in any way? What does he do for fun when he's not fighting or on duty? What are his opinions on different aspects of the empire? How does he treat new acquaintances or old friends? Does he have any interest in romance? Is he an introvert or an extrovert? He is rarely afraid to speak his mind -but what thoughts and opinions does he speak - when is he more likely to do so?

Those are a few questions that I hope will be useful prompts, but feel free to include whatever you want. The personality is really what makes a character distinct, and provides a useful road map for how to play them when responding to unexpected situations in the RP. I often refer back to that part of my character sheets to figure out how my characters should be reacting when I am uncertain.

While it's less important than personality, under appearance you could also include how he is perceived - is he intimidating? How does he speak, what does his voice sound like? How does he stand and move? What is his wardrobe like? Thinking about these things should help you flesh out the character, and give people something to reference when they are writing about seeing your character in the RP.

That aside, I really like the concept overall, and just have a few minor comments:
(1) Skaa don't have surnames - just one name per skaa character.
(2) Role Play Sample - What you have is good, but we don't get to see much of Zero's personality or what he's like at play here. Part of this is because he's being acted upon, rather than acting. Also, the scene is quite dated and we usually prefer the RP sample, or at least one part of the RP sample, to be close to present day, especially for younger characters, so we can get a sense for what they are like now. I think you could include the scene you have now as part of your history, and write a new RP sample of Zero doing something in his present capacity as bodyguard/mercenary.

#2964009 Lucien Faarskar

Posted by Comatose on 01 December 2018 - 08:40 PM in Steel Ministry

Hello Daydam. Excellent writing as always! I especially like Lucien's take on the brother's dynamic.

Two small details about the ministry that need to be corrected:

(1) Time as an Acolyte and Tattoos - It takes more than two weeks to beceome an Obligator and get their tattoos, and to start, acolytes recieve minimal tattoos before they are placed with a Canton. This process was accellerated for Marsh in the books because he came in as if he had already gone through the training, which is why he gets his Inquisition mark right away, but for Lucien doing it the proper way he wouldn't be able to vanish for two weeks and come back with Finance Tattoos. The training also occurs in Austrex. I think this can be solved by having him join the ministry, come back with the shaved head and robes of an acoylte, and informing his brother he won't be returning home as he has already contracted himself to the Ministry.

(2) Family Status - Not a huge point necessarily needing correction, but technically Astor wouldn't have kicked Lucien out - Lucien would have lost his place in the family by joining the ministry. How you have it I think it works anyways, because maybe Lucien feels like he was kicked out, as long as it's clear he actually would have left to join.

As I said above, there are a lot of good things about Lucien and I can't wait to see him approved, once that small nit-picky thing about the ministry training is cleared up. Tag me on discord if you want to discuss and hash out details :).

#2964008 Abraxas MacGuile's Character Apps: S1 #2 V5: Cassandolia Ferrey

Posted by Comatose on 01 December 2018 - 08:26 PM in The Workshop

Hello Abraxas - This section is for finished applications only - if you would like to post work in progress character profiles, please do so in the Workshop. I will be moving these there now. You can repost when they are complete.

#2964007 MBI World-Hoppers?

Posted by Comatose on 01 December 2018 - 08:14 PM in General Discussions

This topic was more meant to be fun and hypothetical - we will not be canonizing any worldhopping for the purposes of the RP for the time being, and if we ever do, it would be more likely to be people moving off Scadrial than on, and would only be approved for an experienced well established player by the admins.

#2964006 Lara

Posted by Comatose on 01 December 2018 - 08:03 PM in Skaa

Thank-you for your patience Lum. I am sorry I didn't get to this sooner, but I have to say you have done excellent work incorporating feedback from myself, Moru, and Daydam. I can tell you put a lot of time and work into this character and I really appreciate that.

Approved by me! One more staff vote to go :).

#2964003 Lara

Posted by Comatose on 23 November 2018 - 07:46 PM in Skaa

@Abraxas - Only staff should be posting in this section - since these are used for reference we like to keep them clean.

#2963977 New kid on the block!

Posted by Comatose on 02 November 2018 - 10:10 PM in Introductions & Farewells

Welcome Nohadon (sorry for the late reply). To clarify chromium and nicrosil are not currently allowed as metals. If you are on discord, Id encourage you to chat with us there if you want help with character development and creation.

#2963976 Hello, and please help me get into RPing

Posted by Comatose on 02 November 2018 - 10:08 PM in Introductions & Farewells

Nice to see you here. I look forward to plotting more on discord.

#2963975 DEFUNCT TOPIC: Guide to using D&D terms in character apps

Posted by Comatose on 02 November 2018 - 09:51 PM in Suggestions

We arent really a combat focused role play (as you will are from our story threads). The standard application is designed with that in mind and has suited our purposes thus far but I will take a look when I have the chance.

#2963957 Susa Ereh

Posted by Comatose on 02 November 2018 - 01:30 PM in The Mists

Sounds good. Thanks!

#2963955 DEFUNCT TOPIC: Guide to using D&D terms in character apps

Posted by Comatose on 02 November 2018 - 01:22 PM in Suggestions

Hello Abraxis. I am going to move this, as this section of the boards is just for character applications. Also, since we already have a character application template we will only be accepting characters whose applications are in our standard template.

#2963923 Susa Ereh

Posted by Comatose on 04 September 2018 - 11:50 PM in The Mists

Hello Epants.

Thank-you for your work on this, and for your interest in our RP. A couple of us staff have reviewed Susa, and feel there is some work to do on him before he can be accepted into the RP. I will note a few key things I noticed here, but would recommend you post him in the workshop so you can get feedback from our wider membership, or try out discord and discuss him with members there.

(1) The RP is set around 100 years before the events of the Final Empire. At this time, Duralumin is not known to the general population, and we do not allow Duralumin Gnats as characters. That being said, it would be open to you to head-canon Susa as a Duralumin Gnat, but he should not be aware of his status.

(2) Flaring Duralumin and becoming a savant does not replicate the use of the other metals. It's tough joining a new community and knowing how much you can play with what is in the books. I know for one of my first characters, I had her using Bronze to discover things that Bronze cannot detect, and had to make edits before she was accepted. In this RP, we stick pretty closely to canon uses of the powers. In a misting, Duralumin is useless, as it can only enhance already burning metals. While I don't think Susa would have the opportunity to become a savant, even if he could, he would not achieve the effect you describe.

On Susa's savant status, please see this section from the Character Application Thread:


We are not currently accepting new Mistborn, Inquisitors, or Allomantic Savants for a first character. Mistborn and Inquisitors are large commitments, for one thing, but more importantly, characters should be more than just an Allomancer. Make them well-rounded people first, and magic users second. So, for first characters, we'd rather see your skill with making people, and then move up to Mistborn for a later character, if you'd like. Remember, you can always be a Misting! Though, on that note, you can't be Mistings of the undiscovered metals, and if you want to be a Seer or Augur, please clear it with an administrator first.

In all honesty, your application of duralumin, if allowed, would also be inconsistent with the reasons we do not allow Mistborn as first characters. If Susa is basically a Mistborn in all but name, our rationale for not allowing Mistborn as first characters would also apply to him. I know you are likely not intentionally attempting to skirt our rules, but if we allowed this character as is, that is, in effect, what we would be allowing you to do.

(3) Realmatic Theory is not a current area of study known to the general populace, so we generally do not accept characters with such knowledge, absent compelling reasons, due to their ability to break the story.

If you have any questions about the above, please let me know. I look forward to working on this character with you further, and hope to see you around the Workshop or on Discord!

#2963922 Mercenary House: Information, Assassinations, Allomancers, Soldiers

Posted by Comatose on 04 September 2018 - 11:33 PM in Plotting

Good to see you getting involved with some plotting Epants.

We already have a fairly major mercenary house (specializing in hazekillers) in Raisaal. As they are a great house, you will need to consider House Ereh's relationship with them carefully if mercenary work is to be a viable financial avenue. That being said, there is probably a high need for mercenaries in the empire, so there is probably room for Ereh.

On the assassination point, note that, while assassinations are common in the Final Empire, they are not necessarily out in the open. House Ereh will likely need some sort of cover business (likely general mercenary work) in order to market assassination services with the required discretion.

Just some general comments as you get started on this, but I do like the idea.

#2963921 New Player

Posted by Comatose on 04 September 2018 - 11:27 PM in Introductions & Farewells

Hello EPants!

Welcome here! For advice, I would suggest reviewing the threads that are linked in the Navigation sidebar on your left handed side of the screen. Another good thing to do, if you are able, would be to check out our Discord Server, where lots of staff and players hang out to discuss character creation and to help you make a character that will fit with our project.

You may also want to check out the Workshop, where you can get feedback about potential characters you are building.

#2963920 Hello everyone! I'm planning on joining soon

Posted by Comatose on 04 September 2018 - 11:24 PM in Introductions & Farewells

Welcome here Mac (better late than never)! Feel free to chat on discord if you would like to discuss getting involved here (we tend to be online there more often).

#2963914 There's a new Rebel in town

Posted by Comatose on 31 August 2018 - 01:06 AM in Plotting

We are more active on Discord - if you hop on there you can discuss!

If you aren't there, I think KChan would be the person to talk to.

#2963912 Taking the Reins

Posted by Comatose on 25 August 2018 - 04:21 AM in Luthadel Outskirts

Marina was flying.

Eagalion, her mount, cleared the hurdle with ease, expertly pulling his legs out of the way of the jump. Marina felt a thrill as his muscles stretched and contracted underneath her and he gracefully inverted his back to flip his rear end over the fence. For a moment, Marina floated in the air, weightless as both she and Eagalion descended towards to ground, separate travelers who happened to be journeying together. Then, they landed, and Marina felt her weight settle back into the stirrups as Eagalion's front feet touched town.

It was exhilarating.

In moments, they were at the next jump, and Marina was ready. "Fly for me darling." She counted the beats of Eagalion's stride as they approached, feeling as his weight shifted to shorten his last approach. The horse's body tensed like a spring, ready to let loose. And then, they were flying again.

Flying women didn't have time to think about watching a grandfather clock tick second by second with their dead husband's blood on their hands.

After a few more rounds of the course, Marina began to feel Eagalion start to tire. He was a young horse, in peak form, and bursting with energy, but even he would tire eventually at their current pace. While Marina longed for the exhilaration to continue, her natural discipline and affection for the animal overpowered her desire for indulgence, and she guided Eagalion over to a waiting stable hand.

"He handled beautifully, Lady Marina. You've done a good job of training him."

"Yes. Thank-you." The hand flinched slightly at her curt tone, but had the sense to ignore it. "When my Eagle is settled, please bring Lightning around to the track. I'd like to do a few laps to see how he's progressing now that his injury is healed."

"Yes, Lady Marina, of course. The veterinarian was in last week, and said that his rehabilitation is going well. With a little more training, he should be achieving competitive times again soon. I'll also send for a time keeper."

Marina dismissed the hand with a nod and turned to survey the other riders and animals. The D'Orsays knew their horses, that much was clear. While Marina didn't like trusting another house with her prized specimens, even House Deveaux couldn't hold a candle to House D'Orsay when it came to caring for horses.

Nearby, Marina noticed two women riding towards her. From the body language, and their choice of mount, it was clear there was a vast difference in experience between them, likely an instructor and her student. While the student rider clearly didn't know what she was doing, she made a good show of keeping her balance while the more experienced rider led both horses. Both animals were obviously well cared for, but the docile mare looked painfully dull compared to the instructor's elegant black stallion.

Realizing the women had likely noticed her impassive appraisal, Marina forced a small smile and gave a stiff but courteous wave.

#2963878 Truth and Consequences

Posted by Comatose on 27 May 2018 - 07:43 PM in Keeps

Knowing Colette would be watching the main gates of Keep Hasting, Caden entered the Hasting grounds through the back entrance the servants used to accept deliveries. Thankfully, the guard on duty was one of his, so he left the two horses and Dennison in his care with strict instructions to discretely stable the horses and see to Dennison's injuries.

Already planning his next move, though he wanted nothing more than to collapse in his bed, Caden snuck over to the barracks where he met another of his supporters. With a Hasting uniform hiding his ballroom dress, which was already less distinctive without the coat he had left with Eliza, and a hat low on his brow, Caden managed to make it up to his chambers without being recognized.

Part of Caden wanted to confront Colette immediately and get things over with, but he knew he would feel more confident facing her if he was comfortable and together. He swapped his clothing for something fresh form his armoir--just day clothing which he could dress himself in--ran a comb and some water through his hair, and added a little cologne to hide the scent of the horses. It was impossible to completely control the situation when Colette was involved, so it felt good to control the little things he could.

While he would have preferred to have a servant help him dress so he could be perfectly made up in ballroom attire when facing Colette, Caden knew he didn't have not much time to spare if he wanted to surprise Colette. Indeed, by not going straight to her, he had already risked her finding out about his return.

Caden gently coaxed one last stray hair into place, and selected one of his finest, and sturdiest, dueling canes. He was ready. All right, let's do this.

Exiting his chambers, Caden strode forcefully down the hall. At the late hour, the halls were relatively unoccupied, though he did encounter several servants and guards. If any were Collette's spies, to their credit, they did not show any surprise at seeing Caden.

A guard, one of Collette's stood at attention at the end of one of the indoor walkways connecting the main keep to the outer towers. Beyond, Caden could see Colette wrapped in a shawl, gazing out the walkway's window towards the main gate.

Caden noticed a slight widening of the guard's eyes as he approached. "Lord Caden!" the guard spoke loudly, no doubt intending to alert his mistress. "I believe Lady Colette would prefer some solitude at the moment. I can ask her secretary to book you an appointment in the morn . . . urgh." The guard cut off as Caden rammed his duelling cane forcefully into his stomach. With another careful swipe, Caden swept the guard's legs out from under him, dropping him to the floor, and joined his cousin on the walkway.

"Good evening, cousin."

#2963877 Coats and Tables

Posted by Comatose on 27 May 2018 - 07:14 PM in Silver Quarter

Nadia jumped at the sound of the voice, spoiling the charcoal sketch she had been working on. She turned, and her eyes widened upon seeing a rather disheveled Eliza climbing over the railing, skirts and all.

Nadia ran to Eliza and, hesitantly at first, wrapped her friend in a tight hug. "Are you okay? What happened?" As they separated, Nadia's eyes narrowed. In the candle light, she could see that the coat Eliza had wrapped around her shoulders belonged to Caden Hasting.

"Did he hurt you? Where is he? I swear, if he hurt you I will kill that bloody bastard..."

#2963876 Jasper Sorelle

Posted by Comatose on 27 May 2018 - 07:00 PM in Nobles

Approved! Sorry it took me a while. The writing is excellent as always.

#2963875 Victor Cairhaim

Posted by Comatose on 27 May 2018 - 06:52 PM in Nobles

I left a comment for you on discord about the number of children. Basically, "three or less" is kind of the regular size of a noble family, so I would prefer to keep the number of families with more than three children low. That being said, we don't have many at the moment, so if it is important that Victor have four children, then that is totally fine. I just wanted to check and see if three would work.

Anyways, regardless of whether or not you change the number of children, he's Approved. Congrats!

#2963848 Veeras

Posted by Comatose on 24 April 2018 - 04:07 AM in Terrismen

Great! He's Approved from my end. One more approval and he's good to go.

Thanks for the quick edits and being so willing to make the changes :).

#2963846 Lara - Skaa Smoker

Posted by Comatose on 24 April 2018 - 03:47 AM in Completed Workshop Items

I really like Lara. I think she might get along with Daphne since they are both smokers who are passionate about creating change for the better in the world.

The main issue with the application as it stands in the section with the Inquisitor. Firstly, it is highly improbable if not impossible for Lara to survive the ordeal as you have described. As the Inquisitors use skaa mistings to add to their number, even smokers would be very valuable to them, and they would not waste one by leaving Lara behind.

I like how you had one Inquisitor being able to pierce copperclouds and the other unable. That being said, they likely would not discuss things so obviously in front of skaa and a noble, even if they are intending on killing the skaa. It's a cool tidbit in the story, but unfortunately I do not see a reason for the Inquisitors to mention it.

Finally, Lara's knowledge of allomancy needs to be explained, since it is beyond what would regularly be available to a skaa. I would suggest that maybe her mother ran a more high end crew hideout, one that would cater to the elite crews with access to allomancy. If this is the case, Lara's mother would need smokers (and potentially a tineye) on staff to protect her allomancer clients. If you choose not to go this route, then either Lara's knowledge needs to be explained a different way, or you could have Lara be more ignorant of allomancy to begin with. If you read the early Vin chapters again, you can get a sense of how little someone, even someone in the underground, knows about allomancers.

Overall, based on the issue of Lara surviving, I am not sure how to handle the Inquisitor scene. I might suggest having Lara return to find a bloody scene, like the one Kelsier and Vin find at Camon's hideout when they return after the Inquisitors have been there. After that, she could live on the run like Vin did. The Inquisitors likely wouldn't chase Lara as diligently as they chased Vin, since her father isn't the Lord Prelan, but it would still be a constant danger that could add some tension. Depending on how you want things to flow from there, you could have her father tracking her down somehow and finding her (or maybe finding her at the scene after the Inquisitors have left), but that depends on what you want to happen with him. You will also need to deal with the issue of how Lane escapes the Inquisitors (Since they usually kill nobles who don't clean up their messes).

I know this is going to be a larger revision, but please do not be discouraged. The core of Lara's personality and the concept is really good, so I think with some edits to the history she will be on a good track towards acceptance.