Quite welcome I hope everything's fine now.

I messed with the first paragraph of his personality, Comatose :3 How's it now?:

When at a ball or making some sort of arrangement, Trellan is controlled, and very persuasive. He's not truly cold, but he never shows the full extent of his emotions to people he has yet to trust, or while doing any sort of business. In those cases, he's mildly pleasant, if a bit distant. With his friends and sister, he is a strangely happy person and enjoys grim humor mixed with exaggerated tales of his midnight travels--and stories about his dogs, of course. He secretly envies his twin sister Rieanne—a seeker—for her Allomancy, despite her weaker and inexperienced powers, and most emotional Allomancers for their ease at manipulation.

Hello!

Oh, now that you point it out, it's not so clear the way I wrote it. It's sorted in my head, but I should really fix that. Right on it!

Thanks

So, this is my first character. Please tell me what you think of it. I'll happily make any edits if anything is wrong, or not explained, or bad, ect.

Trellan Alten
Nobleman

Player Information
Name/Handle: Ferret
OoC Account: Ferret
Contact Information: Personal message, please

Character Information
Name: Trellan Alten
Type: Noble
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Place of Origin: Fadrex city
Occupation: Representing House Alten in Luthadel
Relationship Status: Single

Appearance: Trellan has never been an intimidating fellow. Short of statue at about 5'8” and slight of build, people often overlook him. His light brown hair never falls past his ears, and his light blue eyes are always frank and straightforward. He keeps himself immaculate, detesting ashfalls and often caring an umbrella to keep away the ash.

He has the type of face that is hard to read; plain features, if a slightly large nose. His expressions rarely stray from a mild pleasantness unless he is with close friends. Despite his temperament, however, he prefers to wear bold colors.

Special Skills: Diplomacy, persuasion, finances, good with animals, wandering (of course this is a skill, it takes something special to wander for hours on end successfully).
Strengths: His charisma allows him to make friends quickly, and most animals take to him quickly. Able to control any outward signs of his emotions allows him to shove off attempts of persuasion against himself or emotional Allomancy.
Weaknesses: His lack of any martial training puts him in danger if he gets into any risky situations—which he enjoys doing. His temperament, though not hostile, can cold, and it is not helped by his chronic insomnia. He finds it hard to be open with others unless he has known them for a while.

Personality: When at a ball or making some sort of arrangement, Trellan is controlled, and very persuasive. He's not truly cold, but he never shows the full extent of his emotions to people he has yet to trust, or while doing any sort of business. In those cases, he's mildly pleasant, if a bit distant. With his friends and sister, he is a strangely happy person and enjoys grim humor mixed with exaggerated tales of his midnight travels--and stories about his dogs, of course. He secretly envies his twin sister Rieanne—a seeker—for her Allomancy, despite her weaker and inexperienced powers, and most emotional Allomancers for their ease at manipulation.

Trellan shows his more adventurous side when outside of court. He finds “safety” boring and unstimulating and would rather wander the streets of Luthadel (at night, of course, when he is not sleeping) and simply talk with others—though his sister's gentle counseling has kept him from most of his endeavors. He wants to be thankful for her actions, but he can't help but feel put down by her when objections come his way. And terribly bored.

Law and rules he often holds in a high regard—however, he sees them as situational. Everything has a place, a set of rules and customs. When at a ball or with other nobles, order is the key, so he maintains his rigidity. Yet, when out at night, chaos is the only law and so he abides by that instead if it so claims him. He does not mind the mist, nor does he love it. He finds it an interesting contrast to the day, but he often jumps at the imagined foggy shadow lurking within. He chastises himself for this fear, as well as his fear of mistwraiths and intense hatred of kandra.

He loathes being alone—in fact, he can't stand being in an isolated room without someone there beside him, whether or not they are even interacting. His pets help with this, but no love for animals can replace human company. Sometimes he finds himself lying awake at night, unable to sleep in such an empty, lifeless room. His dogs help—as does the occasional skaa woman at night. The two large hounds which he has dubbed Blitzer and Quill aren't the best of conversationalists, but he loves them all the same. And often, when in the company of any other animal, he'll go out of his way to say 'hello', even the horses drawing his carriage.

His nickname is Trell, but he only lets Rieanne call him that.

History:

Trellan was born in 891 to Lord Earnest Alten and his wife, Silvia, along with his twin sister Rieanne. Because of their sickly mother and older brother, they spent most of their young lives unsupervised. Trellan, who did not understand his place in the world at his young age, spent his time wandering Fadrex, interacting with stray pets and the skaa children. He liked it most at night, when it was quiet, but that was perhaps the only time when the servants noticed his absences (probably because they saw his uneaten dinners). More often than not, he managed to drag his sister with him on his outings as they were never very far apart, but in return he spent time doing what she liked: painting and drawing, though he found both horribly boring.

When Trellan was six, his father had his older brother Ferrin beaten to test for Allomancy. It was discovered than he was a Coinshot, like his mother. But Ferrin also sported his mother's weak constitution and was bedridden for days. He never recovered from the event and died the next winter. Lord Alten refused to attempt Snapping either of his other children after that.

Now the heir to his small house, Trellan was forbidden to wander Fadrex as he once did. His parents were horrified to discover he'd interacted with skaa and chastised him severely. He can't remember exactly what they said, but he remembers how ruthless they'd been, checking him for fleas and dirt and banishing him to his room. He was hysterical when his sister came into his room with half of his dinner hidden under her skirts. His schooling began soon after, as his parents soon realized exactly how much they'd been neglecting their son. Trellan had immediately been opposed to the idea and refused to leave the sanctity of his room, but soon he found himself enjoying his tutors. Not quite the learning, but talking with his teachers entertained him and he often stayed longer than he should asking various questions which probably had nothing to do with the lesson. One of his teachers, Innoux the lord of a poor, but honorable house, was exceptionally attentive to his questions. Trellan quickly grew close to the kindly man.

Rie didn't want anything to do with the schooling, though she was forced into the same lessons as well as more feminine ones, such as sewing. She would hide away and daydream, draw, and show Trellan the results of her stolen time. She made him promise not to tell their father where she hid and he did not. He himself had already tried to show her the happiness he felt because of the teaching, but she would have none of it, so he figured their father would have even less chance—why bother?

It was a particularly dreary day when Trellan could not find Innoux where they normally met up. He decided to search the manor, which was not an overly small building. Yet, when his search came up fruitless, he was forced to ask Rie for advice.

“I heard mother mention Innoux and father having a meeting today,” she'd said, distracted by her finicky paints. She'd then suggested Trellan go to his father's private chambers. This was probably the last place he should have been, as he overheard his father accusing Innoux of having skaa blood in his family. He would not have believed it, had Innoux not started loudly begging Lord Alten not to turn him over to the obligators. They would have surely killed him as well as his entire family. Panicked now, Trellan looked through the keyhole of the door and was shocked to see not only the two lords, but his father's kandra, TelFere, and one of his guard. Alten promised his ally that the Ministry need not be involved just before ordering his guard to kill him. Trellan, terrified, fled down the hall now not caring if he was heard. The next day, his father informed him that Innoux would not be tutoring him any longer. Sometime later, “Innoux” returned to the manor and they arranged a new, much more beneficial agreement of the trade canals.

Now reaching his twenties, the novelties of his tutors began to bore Trellan, so he moved on to balls. He found he greatly enjoyed the experience and even developed a small circle of friends outside of his sister. However, Rie hated her time spent at the events and was cold, if nto harsh, to most of the people there—especially to the women of the court, effectively isolating Trellan form any female companionship. He found her negativity beginning to rub off with him, so he tried his best to shake it off, to be more cheerful than normal, even endeavoring to get away from his sister for the first time in his life. She took this as an insult and their ball-going was quickly decreased.

Desperate for more human contact however, Trellan began going to balls alone without his sister's knowledge. He had to limit himself to these outings, lest she find out (she was always more observant than her distracted nature suggested). But this grew harder as he grew fond of one of the noblewomen, a quaint girl named Grellenne. He never forgot his outings as a child, at night with the skaa children, and often forced her to meet him in the dead of the night. She'd found it as romantic as Trellan had found it mystifying to once again be out with the mists. They'd both jump at the small sounds in the shadows or muse in perfect fear about the dangers lurking within. Rieanne found out eventually, as Trellan expected she would, but she promised to keep her discovery from their father, who still remembered how close to “disaster” he'd let his son fall to by neglecting him so early in life.

Her silence hardly mattered, however. That autumn, their mother finally succumbed to her various illnesses when Trellan was twenty-two. It was a dreadful season. Their father sunk deeper and deeper into a strange, apathetic mood before one day bursting from his room with a new-found energy. He'd always been an ambitious man, held back by his various shortcomings—his nervous nature, average intelligence. But he wanted to be a Great House. He wanted a keep in Luthadel, so he told them. He claimed he knew of Trellan's “outings” and would no longer tolerate such behavior in his only son. Trellan was suddenly bombarded with new and odd jobs (mostly involving finance) intended to teach him more of what to expect when the house title fell upon him.

For the next three years, these tasks consumed Trellan's life. He barely had time for a few balls a week, and even those were uncomfortable now that he could not give Grellenne the attention he used to. Gradually, she faded from his life, a fact which still brings him a grey moods. His work became all the more serious as his father's health decreased. He was not nearly as sick as his wife had been, but he was not as young as he used to be and could not handle all the papers, all the meetings, and simply all the work he was used to. His determination was always admirable, though he often refused to take any sort of medicine, making any sort of sickness he had even more aggressive and piling all the more work up Trellan. After confronting his father about it and starting a heated argument, his father decided it would be best if Trellan traveled to Luthadel, to gather more trade and contacts. Getting away from his father, Trellan concluded, would be good for the both of them, so he agreed.

The preparations began soon. Trellan was often sent to supervise the loading and predation of their ships and goods: Allomantic metals. They were looking over the last one when Trellan heard an odd noise. They were just outside of Fadrex, near one of the canals, and there was no one but him, Rieanne (who'd insisted on coming), the skaa workers, and a few hired guards. He went off to investigate, only for the ship to be attacked and raided while he was out of sight. The guard went to him first after the realized they were outnumbered and could do nothing for the shipment. However, they abandoned not only the workers, but Rieanne, who was taken by the raiders.

Trellan assumed the worst, as did his father. However, while Trellan paced, uneating and unsleeping, about the manor, his father was the one dealing with the obligators and trying to get an investigation underway. It was not the Ministry though, which caused the raiders to leave Rieanna—thankfully still living—at their doorstep. She was bloody and badly hurt, but she refused to talk about what they did to her. She claimed her memories were fuzzy, but she later confided to Trellan that she remembered it all in great detail. Her tears choked her up after that and she could say no more. The largest shock was that Rieanne had Snapped. They'd discovered a few weeks after she'd recovered, as both of them were largely curious since they'd never been beaten as children. She was a Seeker. After they'd told their father about their amazing discovery, he'd insisted Rie go to Luthadel with Trellan.

Trellan spent his last night in Fadrex in his family's stables, where he had the sudden urge for a pet of his own. As a child, the stray dogs and cats of the streets had been just as close to him as the children he'd played with. It was tough work finding a dog breeder in the middle of the night, but he managed and bought the pair of wolfhound pups, Blitzer and Quill.

Roleplay Sample

The puppies in Trellan's arms squirmed. They were already to large to be held with any efficiency, but he knew from experience already if he set them down, they'd both run off in separate directions. Already, the grey one earned his name, Blitzer. And the white female he called Quill, as she bit him when he'd finally caught up with her. He'd never has so much trouble with an animal before, which worried him more than he'd thought it would. His whole life, despite never having any true abilities, he'd been good with animals. And they'd been good with him too. He was surprised he'd never thought of actually buying his own pets, but he guessed he was simply just so busy.

He'd never really interacted with such young little imps, though. He reassured himself—the only reason the two were in such a foul temper was because he had to hold them squeezed to his chest with both arms wrapped around their midriffs. He could barely see the dark, misty city though a mask of grey and cream fur.

But what he could see filled him with homesickness already. He was leaving soon—in about five hours, when the sun finally rose—to go to Luthadel. He wondered when he'd walk the streets of Fadrex city again. He wondered if the mist was the same in Luthadel as it was here. If the central city held the same mists yielding the same mystical shadows—both enchanting and horrible.

He barely wanted to go the Luthadel himself. His life here, though slightly boring, was still something better than most could hope for. Instead, he was feeding his father's hopeless ambition to become a Great House. They weren't even close to the wealth needed for such a thing. The man was hoping for a miracle.

Yet, to finally be out of that stifling manor made it almost worthwhile. He could barely go to balls anymore with the amount of work and papers he did, now that his father was lacking the energy. At first he wondered how his father might fare without him, but he shoved the thought away. He knew what he was asking when he'd told Trellan to go the Luthadel. Let him suffer the consequences. Trellan had heard many stories about the breath-taking manors and parties in Luthadel, the opulent families, and graceful nobles. He somehow doubted the noblewomen could wear anymore jewelry than they already did here—but a man could dream, yes?

Blitzer gave a small whine, bring Trellan's attention back to the city. He was almost home by now, he realized He paused in his walking, then turned around back to where he came. Where ever that was. He still had another three hours or so.

He wanted to sleep, but he was adept at pushing away the sinking, stifling feeling. He imagined his bed for a moment, but he could barely imagine himself sleeping in it. Slumber was hard to come by for him. Walking helped. Company helped more.

But not tonight. Tonight he would walk and only walk. He needed to think, and he only wanted to sleep. Needs always came before wants. He needed to buy the two wolfhounds, his sister wanted him to stop wandering at night. His father wanted him to do work at home, but he needed Trellan to go to Luthadel—despite the insanity of it.

It seemed their mother's death had spurred their father into action. Trellan himself wasn't very fazed by it—she was always sickly, too weak even to care for her twin babies herself. He remembered distinctly how she simply gave them away to her servants. He knew it was impossible for her to have cared for him and his sister in her state, but it felt like she was giving up. On them and herself. Even the servant did, eventually, until he became the heir.

The funeral was still depressing though. Ash had been falling then, as it was now. Trellan frowned, distastefully, but he did not have a free hand for his umbrella.

Quill barked. Her voice was shriller than Blitzer's, like a seagull. She was smaller, too, but more vicious. Blitzer would win in a fight between the two any day, if he ever actually wanted to. Trellan paused, looking at the street. He was walking home again. Now how did that happen? He looked around, wondering when he'd gotten turned around. But his memories gave no clues.

Another bark, and Trellan could see a figure. He started for a moment, wondering if it was just a trick in the mist, but it approached him, brown skirts swaying. It was Rieanne. He could easily recognize his twin--they shared the same light brown hair and blue eyes, though Rieanne's eyes were harder than his, more like steel. The eyes of a Seeker.

How she found him, Trellan could no fathom, but he welcomed her presence all the same. She smiled one of her small smiles and reached out.

“How adorable,” she said. “May I?”

“Of course,” Trellan replied, trying to hold out the pups. “Careful, Quill bites.”

“Which one is that?” Rie asked, hesitating.

“The white one,” Trellan said. After a moment of thought, Rie stroked Quill's fur. The she-puppy did not protest. She was probably too tired now. Her breeder surely was. And foul-tempered.

Rieanne reached for her umbrella and opened it over the two of them. Trellan smiled. “Sometimes it's like you can read my mind, Rie.”

“Only sometimes?”