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The Lord Ruler's perfect capital city, Luthadel, is doing the impossible: rebelling. Skaa half-breeds are being taught the power of Allomancy, something that the Lord Ruler's obligators said only existed in the nobility. The enslaved skaa, with their murderous benefactor, now fight back against a living god's oppression.

So, the Inquisition was formed. The nobles begin to fear assassination from all sides. The times of nobility Mistborn killing each other are over. The Steel Inquisitors look for aristocrat traitors and insurgent skaa, and the skaa try with all their strength to merely survive. The Lord Ruler's perfect Final Empire is slowly devolving into chaos.

Read the full prologue!

Topics on the forum will contain spoilers for the Mistborn Trilogy



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Mistborn Series Brandon Sanderson
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Votir Zerrung-Noble Heir



2 replies to this topic

#1 Eclipse

16
5th Tier Elariel

Posted 19 August 2013 - 03:55 PM

View PostEclipse, on 20 June 2013 - 12:57 PM, said:

Version 2.2: Fixed spacing, uncentered appearance section, took out mention of Elariel neutrality (because they're only neutral w/great houses)

Version 2.3: changed birth year

Version 2.4: Made Votir a Bronze Savant, instead of just advanced. (IMO it makes more sense if he's burning bronze constantly.) If this needs to be changed back to advanced, I'll do so ASAP



Votir Zerrung
Noble Misting Heir



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Name/Handle: Eclipse
Contact: PM, Email, AIM

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Name: Votir Zerrung
Type: Noble
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Place of Origin: Tremredare
Occupation: Heir to House Zerrung
Relationship Status: Single

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Type of Powers: (Misting)
Metals Used: Bronze

Degree of Skill: Savant

Status: Hidden

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Votir is slightly above average in height, standing at about 6'1, with short, styled brown hair, and a clean-shaven face. He has a haughty air around him, which perpetuates the demeanor of the stereotypical noble. He dresses in the fashion of the day, with well-fitted suits (usually black with a blue or silver vest) and, when outside, a deep, dark blue cape.


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Votir was raised surrounded by praise, both for his business, allomantic, and management skills, and so arrogance was ingrained in him from a young age. Due to this, he is used to getting what he wants, and is extremely stubborn. He holds grudges for the smallest insults. He has no qualms about blackmail or other forms of coercion as long as it is in order to further the interests of his house. To him, the ends always justify the means when the end is the advancement of House Zerrung.

He firmly believes in the doctrine of the Lord Ruler, but he takes it further. Not only does he believe (strongly) that the Skaa are inferior, but also that nobles below him in status were relegated there by the will of the Lord Ruler, and so are also to be looked down on. This applies in the reverse to higher nobles, to whom he displays the utmost respect and formality. He believes that the Lord Ruler has set House Zerrung on the course to become a higher noble house, and that is his single-minded goal.

Due to the amount of attention his father spent on Votir due to his various abilities, he has become almost addicted to his father's attention. He will do anything to gain his favor. This has contributed to his almost obsessive practice of his bronze in order to please his father, so much so that he can, in an instant, tell from what direction a pulse is coming and what metal is being burned. He is ruthless, and will not let anyone get in the way of his goals. Underneath all of this, however, he is extremely insecure. His father was always pushing him to improve his Seeking, and to represent House Zerrung well, and he has always been telling him he can do better. He is constantly terrified that he will fail, and due to his beliefs that everything that happens to someone is deserved, that he will be revealed as a failure, and someone who doesn't deserve to be the heir to a noble house. He is afraid that he will lose his father's respect and favor.

He feels a certain mixture of pity and disdain for his younger brother Wilor, because he can't understand why Wilor would descend to treat skaa as anything more than dumb servants and laborers, and believes Wilor will pull himself lower by associating with skaa. After years of manipulating him into making a fool of himself in front of their parents, he has lost the ability to see Wilor as even close to an equal as a person. Wilor being his bodyguard adds to his insecurity because even though he is an accomplished Seeker and skilled businessman, he has an unfounded, subconcious fear that Wilor's allomantic and combat abilities will cause his father to lose faith in Votir and make Wilor heir, in spite of his logical side knowing that his father would never do that.

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Special Skills: Exceptional Seeker abilities, blackmail/coercion, business and administration skills,

Strengths: Great manager of people, good at getting what he wants, persuasive when he needs to be, politically skilled, observant, intelligent.

Weaknesses: Arrogance, Stubbornness, Holds grudges for tiny slights, insecure under his arrogance.


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Votir Zerrung was born in Tremredare in 894 to Larius and Silvre Zerrung. He was their first child, and so received his parents' almost undivided attention whenever they were available. Whenever they weren't, he occupied himself by playing games with imaginary friends. However, when his brother Wilor was born, he threw a tantrum and hid in his room for two days, because his parents, distracted by Wilor's birth, weren't listening to the stories he told them. Though he was scolded, he never lost that craving for his parents' attention.

As he matured, he became a very talented child, quickly grasping all of the topics needed for him to become a successful businessman, noble, and head of House Zerrung. He was taught that showing weakness was the quickest way to failure, and that when the end result was the improvement of House Zerrung, the means, no matter how ruthless, were justified. He began to practice the skills he learned on Wilor, outwitting him with elaborate schemes that made Wilor look bad, and Votir look good in front of their parents. This pushed Wilor further away from his family, and made Votir the "favored" child in their father's eyes. The constant outwitting of Wilor reinforced his arrogance, though he began to rely on the approval and trust of parents to keep his self-confidence and arrogance at its usual level. This was what first spawned his anxiety and fear that he will lose the trust and respect of his parents, especially his father.

One such scheme was when, to try to make his father pay more attention to him, and to make him shift some of his attention from Wilor to him, he slowly and steadily manipulated people surrounding him into provoking Wilor into attacking him. He made sure that Wilor's anger was channeled towards him. When Wilor Pulled a knife towards him, he was caught off guard. He had expected a punch, or another physical assault, but not anything involving weapons. His bronze picked up the iron burning, Wilor was unfamiliar enough, and he realized what it meant fast enough to get out of the way of a lethal strike, but he gained a permanent scar on his calf. But the scheme worked, and his father pulled away from Wilor, and closer to Votir.

Despite his parents' favoring of Votir, they still subjected him to the customary beating. Even though the reason for the beating was explained to him, he had a small, subconscious part of him that still believed that he was beaten because he didn't please his father. This gave him a taste of what it would feel like if he did lose the respect and trust of his father, which just enhanced the anxiety he felt about losing his father's trust and respect. But after the beating, he found a way to keep, and increase, his father's respect for him.

It was discovered he was a Seeker, an interesting counterpoint to his father's Smoking abilities. This made him even more important in the family, and he went through a long training regimen to make him an extremely skilled Seeker. Along with learning all of the normal things noble children learned, he spent hours practicing bronze. He continued to mature as the important child, which made him extremely arrogant and used to getting his own way. However, underneath this arrogance, the fear that he would upset his father and be subject to another beating still lurked under the surface, making him insecure.

His tutors continued their lessons, teaching him of how the Lord Ruler was god, and punished his enemies by making them skaa, and rewarded his friends by making them nobles. This set in his mind a sense of entitlement that caused him to look down on those lower than him, both noble and skaa, as well as treat those above him with respect. Even though proper etiquette was drilled into him from a young age, his arrogance sometimes caused him to ignore the etiquette and just be plain rude or insulting to nobles even just slightly below him in status.

He continued to mature, and attended his first ball at 15. He enjoyed himself, but over the next 5 years, he (accidentally) offended many nobles below him in status due to his arrogance. Some nobles extremely lower in status than him, in an effort to increase their status, became, partially through their own choice, and partially through Votir's manipulation, pawns in his schemes, which by this time had grown from just between him and Wilor, to much more complex political machiinations.

Though he socialized with the nobles above and equal to him in status, due to the lessons taught to him from a young age, he never got past polite conversation with higher status noblemen, as he saw them as meant to be more important by the Lord Ruler, and so never could talk to them as equals.

He did have a few friends who were equal in status with him, and during balls, they would amuse themselves by making up hypothetical politcal situations, and would attempt to outwit each other in those situations. They were close, and they still make up situations and attempt to outwit each other, but now do it through the mail.

With women, the ones above him were not interested in romance with a lower-ranking man. However, he did meet a girl when House Zerrung moved to Fadrex. She was a low-tiered member of House Elariel named Anabelle Elariel. She was intelligent, funny, and they constantly tried to outwit each other. She made him forget about his insecurities. He thought she was perfect.

And then she was sent off to who-knows-where to consolidate a business deal with a political marriage. Though he understood the reasons, Votir was crushed. His insecurites returned full force, and in order to combat these insecurities, he threw himself even more fully into House politics, going from a skilled heir with potential to be a great leader someday into his father's right-hand man. As the next few years progressed, he became as integral to House Zerrung's politics and business ventures as his father.

Because he was so integral to House Zerrung, his father was determined to find him a wife in order to keep the Zerrung line secure. And so Votir went to luncheons and dinners with women who he found to be frivolous, with women who he found to be boring, and with women who could never, in his estimation, live up to Anabelle. He never went to a second social event with any of the girls his father set him up with.

And so, after three years, he traveled to Luthadel, focused on improving the economic, social, and political standing of House Zerrung in Luthadel. However, in the back of his mind, there was always a hope that he would meet a girl like Anabelle. Since he has arrived in Luthadel, he has become more and more focused on his allomancy and the House business, though a part of him still longs for Anabelle.

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Votir squinted in the dim candlelight of the cabin to read the figures. He raked his hand through his hair, deep in thought aside his father. The night had crept up on them, and now it was early morning. His eyes begging him for rest, but his mind, his discipline, and his zeal for House Zerrung would not let that happen. Not yet. Not with his father relying on his advice.

"This is a big risk, father. Are you willing to risk the future of our house?" Votir asked

Larius replied "There's no turning back now. We have enough money and contracts back home to support this venture for about a year, and I trust that you will have gotten me at enough contracts to extend our stay. The fate of our house, Votir, rests on your shoulders. I'm not getting any younger, you know."

Votir nodded silently, his heartbeat beginning to pound in his ears after his father's last statement. What if he failed? What if his house was brought to financial ruin because of his failure to make connections with the Luthadel nobility? What if his father disowned him, and made Wilor, idiot, skaa-loving Wilor, the heir?

"I'll be outside, father."

He exited the tiny cabin, and emerged out onto the prow of the barge. He absentmindedly rubbed his hands together, trying to relax and take the sweat that had appeared, almost instantaneously, onto them. The slight breeze began to slow his heartbeat, and soon it was unnoticeable under the sounds of the barge. He continued to look towards what would soon resolve itself into Luthadel, and, reassured by the constant fire of bronze in his stomach, he began to relax.

He began to wander around the barge, reordering his thoughts, and preparing to return to the comforting familiarity of cutthroat politics. Images of Anabelle flashed through his mind, and he felt a twinge of sorrow. He shook his head, trying to clear his head. He would never have her. You never know, he thought. Maybe Luthadel has someone who can match wits with me. It is a big city. He smiled at that thought.

After a few minutes of pacing, he noticed a sailor asleep, uniform wrinkled, a small droplet of drool precariously hanging from the corner of his wide-open mouth. He felt a twinge of annoyance, and kicked the man, startling him awake. Completely disoriented, the man's eyes flitted in all directions, searching for the man who had kicked, him, and then found Votir.

"We're not paying you to sleep," Votir spat.

The man scrambled to reorganize his uniform, wiped the drool from his mouth, and scurried off. Votir returned to the prow of the boat, as the sun began to rise, silhouetting the great city of Luthadel. Votir's anxiety began to creep up on him once again, but he pushed it down, letting the lessons drilled into him since youth take over. He swallowed more bronze from a vial on his belt, and letting himself be lost in its fire.

---Eclipse---

Player Characters:


Nobles:

Votir Zerrung, Bernard Urvon, Celestine Beliveaux


Skaa:

Avyn, Turnol, Lock(WIP)


Obligators:

Bertram Urvon(WIP)


In the Works:

Bastian Urvon: Mistborn

Astor Urvon:Urvon Heir

Trenton Urvon


#2 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

354
House Raisaal

Posted 12 September 2013 - 11:57 PM

Looking great! Just a few things.

Right now the application is formatted as a quote. If you could take out the quote tags, that would be great.

Also, some of your history seems like it could be reordered. Particularly the part where he is snapped, which comes after a scene where you talk about it burning bronze. This is more just a preference thing though, because really the history is quite good, and should be fine.

Lastly, I think I'm fine with the savant thing, but some of the other admins might have objection, so be prepared.

But like I said, these things are small things to change or look at at your liesure, so for now, I'll say I've APPROVED this character. Good luck obtaining your second vote.

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#3 KChan

562
Atium Chandelier

Posted 14 September 2013 - 09:38 PM

From the directions that were written directly into the character application:

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Please note that Savant is a state of being, not a level of skill, and thus is not appropriate here.

I'm fine with Votir being a savant, but savant isn't considered a level of skill. After all, anyone who flares their metals long and hot enough can become a savant regardless of their skill (or lack thereof). If you'd like to state clearly that he's a savant in the Powers section, something like "Degree of Skill: Advanced (Savant)" or "Status: Hidden, Savant" should suffice.

I also agree with Comatose's other requests, particularly removing the quote tags. Having that much text in a quote box makes it a little tiring on the eyes to read.

On the whole though, I think you did a great job on Votir! I look forward to seeing him in the RP. You're Approved! I'll be moving the app now, but I'll leave it unlocked so you can make the requested changes. Let us know when you're done so we can close the topic. Thanks!

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