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The Lord Ruler's perfect capital city, Luthadel, is doing the impossible: rebelling. Skaa half-breeds are being taught the power of Allomancy, something that the Lord Ruler's obligators said only existed in the nobility. The enslaved skaa, with their murderous benefactor, now fight back against a living god's oppression.

So, the Inquisition was formed. The nobles begin to fear assassination from all sides. The times of nobility Mistborn killing each other are over. The Steel Inquisitors look for aristocrat traitors and insurgent skaa, and the skaa try with all their strength to merely survive. The Lord Ruler's perfect Final Empire is slowly devolving into chaos.

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Mistborn Series Brandon Sanderson
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Maxill Seraphino



4 replies to this topic

#1 Mailliw73

8
Riordan Casuana's Reputation

Posted 25 September 2013 - 05:34 PM

Maxill
Mistborn Mercenary



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Name/Handle: Will
Contact: Tap your Duraluminmind


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Name: Maxill Seraphino
Type: Nobleman
Age:30
Gender:Male
Place of Origin:Austrex, Southern Dominance
Occupation:Mercenary, businessman
Relationship Status:Single


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Type of Powers: Mistborn
Metals Used: ALL
Degree of Skill: Pewter, Tin, Iron, Steel: Advanced. Zinc, Brass, Bronze: Intermediate. Copper, Atium, Gold: Novice
Status: Top-secret. Anyone not in House Bulvier does not know that he is a Mistborn. They just hire a mistborn mercenary and take the guy who shows up in a mask.

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Maxill is taller than the average noble by a couple fingers width. He is pretty well-built, having been working out to increase his Thug potential. He is quite wide and thick. He has broad shoulders, a common trait of his mother's family. He likes facial hair and has a scruffy beard. His dark hair is longish, reaching down to his eyes but short on the sides and the front is usually brushed over (macklemore style). His eyes are a piercing brown, they always seem to be alert, even when he is dozing off or daydreaming. They are below his bushy, black eyebrows. He is pretty intimidating, but when he smiles, it changes his whole general demeanor. His bright, white teeth shine and light up his eyes.

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Being trained to fight and protect the house, he is a great mercenary, willing to kill or burn vineyards. In public, he is loud and happy, one of those guys, you love to hear belt out their deep, chortling laughter. He loves a good beer. In his mind, he is very grim and dark. He has occasional bursts of joy. Around others, he smiles often, making him seem more friendly. He is willing to kill almost anyone if he is paid. Never a Bulvier, though.


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Special Skills: Fistfighting, vandalism, sneaking, making friends

Strengths: Friendliness, hunting down, killing anonymously, brute strength.

Weaknesses: Bribability, intelligence.


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Maxill was born to Maximillian Seraphino and Consetta Bulvier in 888. Because of House Seraphino's low rank and his father's negligible role, his father kept his surname but was basically adopted into House Bulvier. He named his son after himself and kept his last name. Maxill grew up around all the Bulvier children, being trained and treated like one of them. He was taught to fight beginning at age five. He was beaten and Snapped at age five. Bulvier likes to Snap their Allomancers young, so they have the maximum time to train. Maxill, being a Mistborn, was immediately valued by the current Mercenary Manager. He hoped Maxill would become a great fighter and killer for Bulvier. Maxill surpassed his expectations, at a young age showing relish for the fight. His whole life, he knew he would be a mercenary. He also needed a cover job for Bulvier. He decided to take up salesmanship, creating deals with other houses. He practiced and learned how to be amiable and friendly to others. He began work both as a salesman and mercenary at 20. By the age of 23, he was the top Mistborn mercenary and one of the best at forging contracts. At the age of 27, he courted Lysentella Cobalt for nine months. After she forced him to shave, he realized they didn't share many interests and after she cheated on him, he broke it off. Currently, he embraces his job as a mercenary and is trusted with some of Bulvier's most important jobs. He is responsible for many contracts that helped Bulvier rise.

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(A scene from this character's viewpoint. Take care in picking a scene. It could be a scene from the past or it could happen practically during current events. In any case, write something important to the character so everyone can truly feel the character)

-Mailliw73

-Player Characters-
Wilor Zerrung, Prelan Matarn (Workshop), Rikor (pending acceptance), Kler

House Zerrung

Archived (for now):

Aspir Elariel (WIP), Lord Gustav Bulvier (WIP), Maxill Seraphino (Under Revision), Abryn Zerrung (Still Writing), Rasdon (WIP)


#2 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

356
Looking Good in Red

Posted 30 September 2013 - 06:41 PM

Just so you know, it is site policy to restrict the acceptance of mistborn until the admins are certain the player is ready to play one, and that said mistborn is ready for acceptance. Generally, we like to wait until a player is actively RPing with at least three characters, but reserve the right to wait longer if we feel the player or character isn't quite ready.

I'm still going to comment on Maxill, because I think he has promise, but I'm also letting you know up front, he might not get accepted for a while.

Anyways I like the balance you've struck between the professional and the personal, showing both sides of Maxill's character. Since your history is a little sparse, and you have yet to write your RP sample, it would be nice for you to highlight this distinction even more, showing instances where he is friendly and jovial, and times when he is a cold blooded killer. Then, it would be neat to show how these dual lives impact each other. The theme of a dual life is a common on in Mistborn characters, so I'd recomend checking out a few that do a good job of showcasing it (Claudia Elariel, Camille Deveaux, and Lysette Hasting are the ones who come immediately to mind). I'd like to see you answer how Maxill's work impacts his personal life, and how his ease with forming attachments to people affects his work.

Now, like I said earlier, this application might not get accepted for a while, so I urge you to take the time you have to edit Maxill and really take advantage of it. Instead of just adding things in as needed, try to push things up to the next level by really integrating the themes and character conflicts you are discussing with this character into the history and RP sample. Relate the factual history of the character, but do so in a way that also gives readers a feel for his emotional depth, character conflicts, and complexity. Because of their station in the final empire, the variety of powers they possess, and the uniqueness of their lives, we expect more from our mistborn (and inquisitor) characters, so I'm excited to see what you can do with Maxill as you develop him over time.

My apologies in advance if some of that was confusing or overly vague. Let me know if you need any clarifications and I'll do my best to comply.

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#3 Mailliw73

8
Riordan Casuana's Reputation

Posted 30 September 2013 - 06:47 PM

Oh, ok. It's three? I mistakenly thought it was one accepted character. Whoops my bad. Ok, I will definitely delve into his character. I thought I might hurry and get into Bulvier's plot but if I need 3 characters then I have plenty of time. Thanks for reading and I will definitely add to him
-Mailliw73

-Player Characters-
Wilor Zerrung, Prelan Matarn (Workshop), Rikor (pending acceptance), Kler

House Zerrung

Archived (for now):

Aspir Elariel (WIP), Lord Gustav Bulvier (WIP), Maxill Seraphino (Under Revision), Abryn Zerrung (Still Writing), Rasdon (WIP)


#4 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

356
Looking Good in Red

Posted 30 September 2013 - 06:54 PM

Three actively participating characters is a general rule (that I may have made up in my head), but the admins reserve the right to wait longer depending on the circumstances. Like I said, Mistborn characters are a big responsibility, and we've been burned in the past by players controlling mistborn who weren't ready for them.

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#5 Mailliw73

8
Riordan Casuana's Reputation

Posted 30 September 2013 - 06:57 PM

Ok, that makes sense.
-Mailliw73

-Player Characters-
Wilor Zerrung, Prelan Matarn (Workshop), Rikor (pending acceptance), Kler

House Zerrung

Archived (for now):

Aspir Elariel (WIP), Lord Gustav Bulvier (WIP), Maxill Seraphino (Under Revision), Abryn Zerrung (Still Writing), Rasdon (WIP)






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