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The Lord Ruler's perfect capital city, Luthadel, is doing the impossible: rebelling. Skaa half-breeds are being taught the power of Allomancy, something that the Lord Ruler's obligators said only existed in the nobility. The enslaved skaa, with their murderous benefactor, now fight back against a living god's oppression.

So, the Inquisition was formed. The nobles begin to fear assassination from all sides. The times of nobility Mistborn killing each other are over. The Steel Inquisitors look for aristocrat traitors and insurgent skaa, and the skaa try with all their strength to merely survive. The Lord Ruler's perfect Final Empire is slowly devolving into chaos.

Read the full prologue!

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Mistborn Series Brandon Sanderson
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Talyn Calomine - Calomine Soother

Noble

2 replies to this topic

#1 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 14 February 2014 - 02:58 AM

Talyn Calomine
Noble Misting



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Name/Handle: Haelbarde
Contact: PM, IM <- Check my profile

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Name: Talyn Calomine
Type: Noble
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Place of Origin: Calomine Plantation, Southern Dominance
Occupation: Luck Charm
Relationship Status: Single




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Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Brass
Degree of Skill: Intermediate
Status: Hidden


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Talyn could not be described as colourful. His skin is pale, and his hair dark. His eyes are blue, but very dark. He has a tight control on his emotions, leaving his face often expressionless, perhaps with a bit of a frown. He prefers not to be the centre of attention, and dress as such, in neat black or grey suits. He's of average height, not being particularly tall, but neither short. He's sort of thin, but quite coordinated and nimble. Though proficient at masking his thoughts and his movements, the one thing that he can't hide is large ears that stick out of the side of his head. Any reference to them is sure to bring a frown.


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In a word, Talyn is taciturn. Unlike his cousin Zella, he likes to hide in the shadows. He enjoys the company of others, but is not a confident speaker, preferring to listen. As much as possible he'll think before speaking, so as to not rush in and embarrass himself. He dislikes conflict, preferring to take the part of mediator, to calm things before a confrontation escalates.

He feels a strong sense of duty to his family, though doesn't have the same drive as his cousins. He values honour, and likes be seen as such. This two features only come into conflict when called upon to use his ability on those he deems worthy of respect. If called on to betray a friend so that the House might gain status, it would be a hard decision as to whether honour or duty is put first.

Talyn does not share all of his family's views to quite the same degree. He disagrees with their policy on Snapping, though he understand why they are driven to do it. Neither does he hate the skaa as much. To him, they are a tool, something to be looked after and used, but easily discarded once its purpose is served. While he prefers not to kill them, neither is he bothered by their deaths.

He dislikes his cousin Silvan, having grown up on the receiving end of his tongue. His father also preferred Silvan over him, and would have rather have had Silvan as a second son. The dislike, however, is mutual, as Silvan is jealous of Talyn's allomantic powers. They tolerate each other but there is no love lost between them.


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Special Skills: Exceptional memory, and well-practiced in burning brass. Stealth.

Strengths: Nimble, stealthy, good at mediating.

Weaknesses: Does not cope well under pressure, and gets quite anxious. Makes references and puns so obscure that most people just get confused.



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Talyn Calomine is the younger of the 2 sons born to Sirel Calomine in the latter part of 899. He grew up in the shadow of his brother Koen, who was a year and a half his elder, was in his father's eyes perfect. After their mother died in 905, Koen, following his father's footsteps, was cruel, and without their mother to intervene, bullied his younger brother. In 906, at the age of 8, Koen had his Snapping Ceremony, in hopes that he would give House Calomine the allomancer it so desperately hoped for, but the process killed him. In some ways, it was a relief for Talyn, as now he no longer had to fear his elder brother. In late 907, as it approached the time for Talyn to also go through the Snapping Ceremony, he was given a brief reprieve when important business meant Sirel was absent, and the Ceremony delayed. However, Sirel never came back. As he was returning, he, with his brother Grynd and sister-in-law Zeldelle, were killed in a carriage accident in 908. Now with no family, Talyn, along with his cousins Zella and Silvan, where then brought up by their grandparents, Lord Edarad and Lady Issa of House Calomine.

This carriage accident resulted in Zella finally snapping. House Calomine finally had an allomancer. Feeling that maybe their fortunes had changed, they viciously beat Talyn, who by this point was approaching 9 years old. He was certain he was going to die, because even his brother, who had been bigger and strong, had not been able to survive. As he felt the end approach, something changed. The beating stopped. Those beating him were confused; their emotions were suddenly dulled. The felt a lack of motivation to do anything, let alone continue the beating. Talyn had Snapped. He was a Soother.

Silvan was understandably jealous, and tried to bully both Zella and Talyn because of it, that is until she broke his nose for the second time. It was decided Zella would be trained to become the allomantic bodyguard for the heir, as though neither Tineyes or Soothers were ideal bodyguards, it was clear that when it came to combat, Zella was going to be the most gifted. Talyn received similar training, at least initially, with the acrobatics and basic weapon use. However, there was only so much he could learn in a small house with no other allomancer with his ability. He needed to live and train in a city, where he'd be able practice on a larger variety of people. In 911, he was sent to Fadrex City so that he could learn the ways of the court, as well as improve his skill with brass.

Fadrex was bigger, and louder, than anywhere he'd been before. His time here was divided between continuing to study, attending the social gatherings of the other nobles in the city and practicing his soothing (mainly on skaa, but on the nobles when he could get away with it). It took him awhile to start to enjoy the frequent balls. He wasn't amazing at talking to others, and disliked not knowing whether or not others were trying to take advantage of him. Over time, he got to know a number of the other nobles well enough, and began to enjoy the events, but much preferred to listen and observe than interact with everyone or meet new people.

In 918, with the skaa rebellion brewing, the Calomines decided it was worth focusing their attention on Luthadel, to take advantage of any instability caused by the rebellion. This meant a Soother alongside their newly acquired Smoker would be a valuable asset, leading to Talyn travelling to Luthadel to meet his cousins.

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Keep Orielle loomed above. It was an impressive stone structure, with ornate glass windows. Talyn exited the carriage, pausing to look around. A number nobles talked in small groups, while others moved into the keep itself. He started to walk towards the waiting keep doors. He passed through the outer stone gate into the inner courtyard, followed by the steward he had been provided just the day before. Around the edges were neatly kept plant displays, much more intricate that anything they'd had back on the plantation. His palms were sweaty, and his stomach felt like it was trying to eat itself. Often he wished he could soothe himself, but burning brass didn't work like that. He took a few deep breaths to try and calm his nerves. Why did I agree to come here, he wondered. He had arrived in Fadrex City only a few days ago, but had already been invited to a ball. From what he had heard, it was all the nobles did, that it was the place to be. He wasn't looking forward to it one bit.

Talyn reach the main doors, where his steward presented his invitation to one of the two attendants on the door and organised a place to sit. As they entered through the pristine foyer, he couldn't help being a bit overwhelmed. The main room was massive, with a large open area for dancers, with plenty space around the perimeter for people to sit and socialise. They were led by a serving boy to one of the smaller tables, where Talyn sat while his steward ordered his meal. From his seat, he was able to look around some more. So many people! His hands were still sweaty, and now, feeling hungry, his stomach didn't feel much better. The meal arrived and he started to eat.

"Hey, you. You're in my spot!" Talyn jumped to his feet, heart thumping loudly as he turned to look for origin of the voice. Approaching the table was tall blond nobleman who looked to be around seventeen, a few years his elder. "Your face was just then, my dear fellow, priceless!" The man said with a smile on his face. He proffered his hand. "Ardous Cett, at your service." Talyn shook his hand. "Talyn Calomine, at yours."

"New around here I suppose, if that response is anything to go by." Talyn smiled and gave a nod, waiting for a few seconds to calm down a tad.

"Yes. I have only been here for a few days." His reply was terse, doing his best not to stammer.

Ardous nodded, "That would explain why I've not seen you before." He paused. "Are you passing through? Or will you be here for an extended period?"

"At least a year, maybe longer." Another short response.

There was an extended silence.

Ardous raised an eyebrow. "You don't say much, do you? Anyway, I've got people to catch, perhaps I will see you another time?"

"Perhaps."

Ardous nodded and continued on his way to a group of other noblemen, presumably his friends. Talyn sat down with a sigh of relief, glad that the fellow had been joking, and didn't hang around. His heart finally quietened down. He wasn't sure what was worse, getting ignored in the large crowd of strange new people, or actually have people come to talk to him. He could never think clearly when he was nervous and talking to someone new, falling back on rehearsed responses. Breathing a deep breath to further calm himself, he returned to his meal.



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Just as a reference, in case it's useful:


A Timeline of House Calomine:
792 – Teral Calomine marries Edre Valen
802 – Sera born to Teral and Edre
805 – Tellen born to Teral and Edre
820 – Edarad born to Teral and Edre
839 – Edre dies
Teral finds out that Edre had been skaa
844 – Teral dies
852 – Edarad marries Issa
865 – Sirel born to Edarad and Issa
871 – Grynd born to Edarad and Issa
895 – Grynd marries Zeldelle Tairette
896 – Silvan born to Grynd and Zeldelle
897 – Sirel marries
898 – Zella born to Grynd and Zeldelle.
Koen Calomine born to Sirel.
899 – Talyn Calomine born
905 – Sirel's wife dies
906 – Koen's Snapping Ceremony and death.
907 – Talyn's 8th birthday
908 – Carriage accident kills Sirel, Grynd and Zeldelle.
Talyn, Zella and Silvan now brought up by Edarad and Issa.
Zella Snaps as a result of the accident
Talyn delayed Snapping Ceremony occurs a few months later
913 – Talyn moves to Fadrex City
Zella and Silvan move to Luthadel
918 – Talyn moves to Luthadel

Edited by Haelbarde, 16 February 2014 - 03:25 AM.

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#2 KChan

601
Lord Prelan

Posted 15 February 2014 - 10:14 PM

Great job on Talyn! I can see where you really thought about the feedback I gave you, and it really helps flesh him out as a person. I also especially liked the RP sample. You've got an Approval from me!

One more vote and Talyn will be good to go!

One thing though: I know it was talked about in his Workshop thread so I'm not too worried, but you should probably edit in when and why Talyn came to Luthadel. :)

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#3 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

355
Looking Good in Red

Posted 15 February 2014 - 10:36 PM

I'll second what KChan said about coming to Luthadel. While you might know, these applications are used as references, so it's important to include information like that in the History or RP sample.

The only other thing I'd like to see changed or edited is Talyn's snapping scene. In the scene, you say:

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The beating stopped. Those beating him were confused; they no longer felt the joy of inflicting pain, suddenly bored with the whole affair. Talyn had Snapped. He was a Soother.

While cruelty is common in the final empire, and it might even be normal to enjoy harming skaa, I suspect it would be different for them harming a child of their own culture and race. As I see it, there are two options. The people beating Talyn are just doing their duty, and thus the emotions being soothed would be pity, remorse, or resignation, or something like that. The other option is that the men are abnormally sadistic, and do enjoy beatings for some reason, which is equally possible in the final empire. Basically, nothing needs to be changed, but I would like a sentence or two added in to specify what is going on with the men who are beating Talyn in that scene.

Anyways, I really like Talyn. The writing is fantastic, and so is the character. Thus, he is APPROVED, but I'm am going to keep the topic unlocked so you can make those two small changes. Great Work!!!!

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