Jump to content


The Lord Ruler's perfect capital city, Luthadel, is doing the impossible: rebelling. Skaa half-breeds are being taught the power of Allomancy, something that the Lord Ruler's obligators said only existed in the nobility. The enslaved skaa, with their murderous benefactor, now fight back against a living god's oppression.

So, the Inquisition was formed. The nobles begin to fear assassination from all sides. The times of nobility Mistborn killing each other are over. The Steel Inquisitors look for aristocrat traitors and insurgent skaa, and the skaa try with all their strength to merely survive. The Lord Ruler's perfect Final Empire is slowly devolving into chaos.

Read the full prologue!

Topics on the forum will contain spoilers for the Mistborn Trilogy









Mistborn Series Brandon Sanderson
Allomantic Table, Symbols, and Cartography by Isaac Stewart
Luthadel Images: mking2008
Other Graphics: KChan at 17th Shard
Final Empire, Metallic Arts, and Style Guides by Chaos at 17th Shard
All original characters, places, and documentation are property of their creators. Do not reproduce or republish without permission.

A subsidiary of 17th Shard, the Official Brandon Sanderson Fansite

WIP - Josua Getrue



4 replies to this topic

#1 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 20 June 2014 - 11:15 AM

So I was going to see if I could get him finished before sharing, but then exams turned up. That's going to keep me busy for the next week or so, so I'm just going to post him as is. There's a few holes where I've not got around to writing stuff yet. Some of what Coma said about Ada is probably relevant. But anyways, thoughts, criticisms, etc. would be nice.



________________________________


JOSUA GETRUE
Noble Misting



Posted Image

Name/Handle: Haelbarde
Contact: PM, IM




Posted Image

Name: Josua Getrue
Type: Noble
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Place of Origin: Klessium
Occupation: Brother,
Relationship Status: Single



Posted Image

Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Tin
Degree of Skill: Superior
Status: Hidden



Posted Image

(Include height, build, hair, eyes, and their general demeanor in your description, in prose format - no subheaders, please, and no images.)

Jos has brown, gingerish hair, with blue-grey eyes. He stands at about 5’ 9”, roughly in middle of two siblings. He’s solid but fairly athletic.

Posted Image

(Also include their moral attitudes, prejudices, and any mental disorders. Do not list, quote, or copy/paste anything from the sixteen personality types - you can use them as personal reference for your writing, but do your own work for your own character. We want to see your writing, not someone else's classifications.)


Posted Image

Special Skills: (For example, things like Reading, Writing, Knife Fighting, Lying, Observation, etc.)

Strengths: (Try to make strengths and weaknesses relevant to your character. Try to tie them into your character's personality, experiences, relationships, etc.)

Weaknesses: (Make sure your character's strengths and weaknesses are balanced. Try to avoid talking up your character's strengths and downplaying their weaknesses. We all have flaws; it's what makes us human, and our characters feel real. This is a great place to make your character even more interesting.)




Posted Image

(Give this thought. Make the character feel like a real person. Include major events in the character's life. For example, if the character is an Allomancer, include how he or she snapped. Try to understand what events shaped your character into his current perspective. Also, for simplicity, please name the year the character was born and their parents' name, for the purposes of the Timeline thread. The year the character is born is simply 918 - their age.)

Josua was born on the turn of the century into House Getrue. He was the third child in the family, with a brother Theodoric two years older and a sister, Adalaide, who was six years his elder (hence forth known as Theo and Ada, respectively). He never saw his mother, Alma, much as his father, Dimitar, kept her away from everyone. After the birth of her first child, Ada, something broke in her, and she begun suffering delusions, hallucinations, and extreme mood swings. Then she start to make attempts to kill Dimitar. Theo and Jos mostly happened by accident. Because of this, Jos grew up to be very close to both his siblings, but distant from either of his parents.

At the age of 6, Getrue children are snapped. Josua had been only just born when Ada was Snapped a Misborn, and couldn’t really remember when Theo was beaten to try Snap him. Jos’ turn came in 906. Afterwards, all he could remember were flashes. Waking to men in his room, obscured by the dark of night. A gag and sack over his head to blind him. Being thrown over someone’s shoulder. The fruitless struggling. The temperature dropping, echoing footsteps. The sack and gag removed. The blurry figures as his eyes adjusted to the light. The vile metallic liquid forced down his throat. The sack and gag redone. “Begin.” A single word, spoken by his father. Agony as the beating from every direction begun. The approaching darkness. The sudden warmth. An explosion of light, sound, everything. Darkness.

He woke slowly late in the afternoon on the morrow. It was nice and warm. Then he remembered what had happened, and noticed the pain. With a groan, he opened his eyes. “You’re awake!” Ada was sitting near the bed.

“Ada? What... what happened?”

She grinned, scooching her chair closer. "You Snapped. I'm sorry. It was terrible. I can't believe father made me watch. He has other Seekers. He didn't need to make me watch them beat you. It's so unfair! She stamped her foot lightly and then took a deep breath. “But, I guess you’re a Tineye now. I think you got lucky. It’s one of my favorites."

Josua shifted uncomfortably. “It hurts Ada. All over. Is… does this happen to everyone? Did they do this to you? To Theo? Why?” He coughed, then grimaced. Coughing hurt. “Tineye? Is that how you can see in the dark well?”

Ada winced a little as he moved. “Try not to move, Jos.” She said, her voice quiet. “Yes, they do this to everyone. It’s awful. It’s the only way they have of...of knowing, really. I guess they can’t just wait for us to Snap from normal traumatic events.” She shrugged a little. “I was at Theo’s as well, though only as an observer. Apparently father is calling this part of my training…” She smiled. “Yes, it’s the one where you can see in the dark well.”

Josua tried to ignore the pain. “Can you show me how? I wanna try.” He tried to move, to sit up, but gave up quickly. “Is it going to hurt for long? I don’t like it, Ada.”

“I can’t show you right now. It would hurt too much.” Ada bit her lip and drew her eyebrows together, her worry obvious. “You’ll recover, soon. It might take a while, but it won’t be like this forever. I don’t think they broke much…”

The pain was still there, constantly throbbing, and he had no energy. He yawned, grimacing yet again. “I’m tired Ada. If I go to sleep, will you be here when I wake up again?”

Ada smiled a little bit and nodded. “Of course I will, Jos. And maybe Theo will join me.” She sighed a little then grinned.

Josua smiled back. “Thanks big sis…” Already drowsy, he quickly fell asleep.

The bruising faded after a few weeks, and by a month and a half, the various fractures and breaks had also healed. He’d not been able to move much at all for the first week or so, and only a bit with assistance for the weeks after. After this, having taken some painkillers to suppress residual pain, he was finally given some tin to burn. His father had organized for a trainer, and so Jos had gone to the room set aside for them. Waiting outside was Ada. As he approached, she smiled. "Looking forward to this, Jos?"

He nodded. "Yes, though slightly nervous. What's it like? To burn tin?"

Her smile grew to a grin. "That's what you're here to find out. Best not to keep the trainer waiting."

With that, Ada opened the door, stepping aside so Jos could enter, before entering in after, closing the door and standing to the side.

Standing on the other side of the room, looking out a window, was an older man, with thinning grey hair.

"Punctual. Good." The man turned around. "I will be training you to be a Tineye." He held up a small glass vial. “This vial contains tin. When you Snapped, you gained the ability to burn tin to enhance your senses. All of them. That’s what knocked you out when you were Snapped. It’s also why you’ve not been allowed to use any till now. It will amplify any pain you have. I want you to drink this, and try to burn it. Slowly.”

Josua took the vial. Ada stood nearby, smiling encouragingly. Josua unstopped the vial, and downed the liquid. He pulled a face as the liquid, obviously containing the tang of tin, went down his throat. “What ne…” Something changed. He could feel something, a warmth in his stomach. He cocked his head to the side. “I think I feel it. How do I burn it?” He tentatively tried to ‘use it’. It made it feel different slightly. He tried a bit harder. With a flash, everything got stronger, brighter, louder. He stopped immediately. “Ahh…” His head was ringing, and he shielded his eyes. Shaking his head to clear it. “Everything… exploded.”

Ada moved closer, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “It does that the first few times. You’ll get used to it.” She whispered, smiling a little bit at him.

Jos smiled back, returning the gentle squeeze. "Okay."

“Looks like you flared tin.” The instructor commented. “Flaring it burns it quicker but enhances the effect, something you’ll take a bit of getting used to. You need to get used to regulating how much you burn it. Try it again, and slowly warm into it this time.”

This time Josua closed his eyes. He reached out to the tin he could feel in his stomach, gently burning it, and as slowly as he could, increase the burn rate. As it did, he could feel the world come alive. The small sounds of Ada and the instructor as they waited, the texture of his clothing. The unique smell of the room and its inhabitants. While it’d had been there before, it felt so much clearer. He slowly opened his eyes. Everything was so crisp and detailed. Looking around, his eyes picked out details in the furniture he’d never seen before. He looked at Ada, her red hair looking much more vibrant. He moved to the window, looking out on the courtyard beyond. He could see much farther in greater detail, picking up on details in the armor of the guard patrolling on the opposite side of the courtyard. Then the warmth in his stomach faded, and abruptly everything disappeared. The tin had run out. The trainer didn’t do much else with him that day, just letting burn some tin. Lessons started the next day. His education took off at this point. He started to learn how to use tin, how to focus on one thing, but also normal lessons in reading and numbers and suchlike.

The next few years were punctuated by a few events. Ada training increased meaning Jos couldn’t spend as much time with her as he had. Their mother Alma suddenly left for the Terris Domain for ‘medical’ reasons. A month later Dimitar told Ada, Theo and Jos that she’d left him, not giving them any more details than that. In 909, Ada had her court debut, so her time became more wrapped up in that.

At the age of 11, Jos was taken to and shown around the House plantations and factories to give him an appreciation of what the house did. This ended up being a multi-week roundtrip. While he was gone, Ada tried to kill Dimitar, and then herself.

When he arrived home, neither Ada nor Theo was around. He was directed to find his father, who he found in his office. Jos could tell he was in pain. “Father, what happened?”

“Your sister happened, that’s what. Tried to kill me. Failed obviously.”

“Ada wouldn’t do something like that. I don’t believe you.”
“Then go ask her yourself. You should find her confined in her room.”

Jos didn’t want to believe Ada would have tried to do that, so he immediately left to go find her, going to her room. There was a big muscly man guarding her door. Ignoring him, Jos knocked quietly on the door. “Ada, are you there?”

He heard some movement in the room. “Who is it?” Ada called out.

“It’s Jos... May I come in?”

“Jos? Of course!” He opened the door. “I didn’t know you were back!” she continued.

Entering the room, he saw Ada was sitting on her bed. He ran over and gave her a hug. “I just got back. It’s good to see you big sis.”

She returned the hug. “I’m so glad your back, Jos.” She said softly.

He smiled. “I’m happy to be home. I’ve missed you and Theo.” Then his smiled faded. “Ada… Dimitar….he… he said you tried to kill him…”

Her face darkened as she nodded. “I did. I was tired, Jos. I was tired of him controlling me. I wanted it to stop.”

What? She did try to kill him? But…. But… Jos didn’t want to believe that his sister had tried to kill someone. “Couldn’t you just tell him to stop? Or… or… run away?”

She looked at him. “Run away? And do what, Jos? I can’t leave you and Theo, and he wasn’t going to stop. Not unless I had some kind of leverage against him.”

“I…” Jos gave her another hug. “I guess I wouldn’t have liked it if you had run away.”

“I would have always come back.” She said. “I doubt I would have gotten very far before realizing how much I didn’t want to leave you two.”

Jos smiled, still giving Ada a hug. He noticed the man outside the door shift around. “Ada, why is that guy outside your door?

Ada’s face went blank. “Father thinks I might try to kill myself.”

Jos was confused. She couldn’t… she wouldn’t have… would… would she? But… But.. Jos pulled backed. He was worried. “But you wouldn’t try and kill yourself! Would you?”

Ada hesitated. “Well, I did fail…But yes, I tried.”

This is not what Jos wanted to hear. He started to tear up a little. “But why!?”

Ada looked sad. “I wanted it to stop. I’m sorry Jos.” She pulled him into a hug. “I didn’t want to leave you and Theo alone, in the end.”

Jos hugged her tight. “Don’t every leave, Ada. Not ever.”

Ada smiled. “I won’t”

Content that he didn’t have to worry about losing his sister, he sat in silence, still hugging Ada, resting his head on her arm. I’m happy I’m home. I‘ve missed Ada and Theo. Theo! He brightened up. ”Is Theo around? I’ve not seen him yet.”

Ada nodded. “I don’t know where he is, though.” She said with a shrug.

Jos jumped up. It’ll be good to see Theo! He was excited again. “Can we go find him?”

“Of course we can, Jos” Ada said with a slight smile as she stood up to follow him. He shot her a grin as they left the room, ignoring the guard who now started to follow them.

Life got busier after this. Jos’ training started to get more intensive with combat training being thrown into the mix. Theo debuted the next year, before leaving for the House factories the year after to receive more advanced training in the art of creating medicines, poisons, and their antidotes. In 915, Josua also debuted.

<made friends, and stuff>

The next year, Jos left for Getrue’s factories for more intensive training. This training was to start learning the art of creating poisons and their antidotes, as well as learning to recognize them using tin enhanced senses, plus poison augmented combat training. Jos loved this. He had inherited the Getrue passion for poisons (yay for alliteration). He learnt quickly, and while he didn’t have quite the same knack for it that Theo did, he was still quite proficient at creating and using a number of different poisons. He found the effects of the different poisons on different people fascinating, how the same dose of something reacted differently on each person, how different delivery methods had varying reaction times.

Getrue was hoping to push to ascend to the position of a Great House in the relative near future, so needed to increase its presence in Luthadel. So in 917, Ada and Theo moved to Luthadel, Jos following a few months later after finishing up at the factories.

It was quite different in Luthadel. Back in Klessium, Getrue was a High House. For those in the Eastern Dominance, Getrue was a Great house, for all intents and purposes, and not only that, but there were very few Houses that could rival them. In contrast, Luthadel contained eight Great Houses, all more influential than Getrue. Rather than being near the top of the social pecking order, they were somewhere more in the middle, below the multitude of Great House nobles.

Blah, blah, blah, life was different in Luthadel.

Posted Image

(A scene from this character's viewpoint. Take care in picking a scene. It could be a scene from the past or it could happen practically during current events. In any case, write something important to the character so everyone can truly feel the character)

Edited by Haelbarde, 20 June 2014 - 11:16 AM.

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image


#2 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 25 September 2014 - 04:00 AM

Hey everyone. It's been sometime since I first posted this, but I've finally got around to polishing him up a bit. There are no longer any holes in which I still want to write stuff (obviously beyond writing an RP sample). So anything feedback at this point would be good so that I can do a proper polish for submission.

____________________________________________



JOSUA GETRUE
Noble Misting



Posted Image

Name/Handle: Haelbarde
Contact: PM first, IM after I’ve talked to you

Posted Image


Name: Josua Getrue
Type: Noble
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Place of Origin: Klessium
Occupation: Brother,
Relationship Status: Single

Posted Image

Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Tin
Degree of Skill: Superior
Status: Hidden

Posted Image

Jos has brown, gingerish hair, with blue-grey eyes, and usually prefers to go around clean shaven. He stands at about 5’ 9”, roughly in middle of two older siblings, and has a confident air to him. He’s solid but fairly athletic. He rarely wears anything particularly bright, and more often than not will just stick to house colors. He’ll dress as well as necessary for where ever he is, but not anymore.

Posted Image

The most important thing to Josua is family. Specifically, his two siblings, Ada and Theo. While not close to his parents, nor have any close friends, he is very close to his brother and sister. Though Ada is Mistborn, and Theo is basically a master of poisons, Jos still worries about both of them, and would do anything to protect them. Killing or inflicting pain gives him no qualms if a situation calls for it, and he has inherited the Getrue passion for poisons, and enjoys testing the new mixes his brother makes. While not necessarily outgoing, he doesn’t mind talking to people, but is slow to trust and doesn’t tend to make close friends after having had a bad experience with trusting others.

Posted Image

Special Skills: Identifying poisons and their antidotes


Strengths: Observant (due to tin training, even when not burning tin), cares strongly for his siblings’ wellbeing.


Weaknesses: He doesn’t trust easily after getting burnt for letting someone get close. This was compounded by his Tineye training where he learnt a bunch of the tools of the trade of a spy, including how to use and detect poisons. While he’s quite good at keeping an affable façade, if he hears someone speaking ill of his siblings, he finds it hard not to react and make a scene.



Posted Image

Josua was born on the turn of the century into House Getrue. He was the third child in the family, with a brother Theodoric two years older and a sister, Adalaide, who was six years his elder (hence forth known as Theo and Ada, respectively). He never saw his mother, Alma, much as his father, Dimitar, kept her away from everyone. After the birth of her first child, Ada, something broke in her, and she begun suffering delusions, hallucinations, and extreme mood swings. Then she start to make attempts to kill Dimitar. Theo and Jos mostly happened by accident. Because of this, Jos grew up to be very close to both his siblings, but distant from either of his parents.

At the age of 6, Getrue children are snapped. Josua had been only just born when Ada was Snapped a Misborn, and couldn’t really remember when Theo was beaten to try Snap him. Jos’ turn came in 906. Afterwards, all he could remember were flashes. Waking to men in his room, obscured by the dark of night. A gag and sack over his head to blind him. Being thrown over someone’s shoulder. The fruitless struggling. The temperature dropping, echoing footsteps. The sack and gag removed. The blurry figures as his eyes adjusted to the light. The vile metallic liquid forced down his throat. The sack and gag redone. “Begin.” A single word, spoken by his father. Agony as the beating from every direction begun. The approaching darkness. The sudden warmth. An explosion of light, sound, everything. Darkness.

He woke slowly late in the afternoon on the morrow. It was nice and warm. Then he remembered what had happened, and noticed the pain. With a groan, he opened his eyes. “You’re awake!” Ada was sitting near the bed.

“Ada? What... what happened?”

She grinned, scooching her chair closer. "You Snapped. I'm sorry. It was terrible. I can't believe father made me watch. He has other Seekers. He didn't need to make me watch them beat you. It's so unfair! She stamped her foot lightly and then took a deep breath. “But, I guess you’re a Tineye now. I think you got lucky. It’s one of my favorites."

Josua shifted uncomfortably. “It hurts Ada. All over. Is… does this happen to everyone? Did they do this to you? To Theo? Why?” He coughed, then grimaced. Coughing hurt. “Tineye? Is that how you can see in the dark well?”

Ada winced a little as he moved. “Try not to move, Jos.” She said, her voice quiet. “Yes, they do this to everyone. It’s awful. It’s the only way they have of...of knowing, really. I guess they can’t just wait for us to Snap from normal traumatic events.” She shrugged a little. “I was at Theo’s as well, though only as an observer. Apparently father is calling this part of my training…” She smiled. “Yes, it’s the one where you can see in the dark well.”

Josua tried to ignore the pain. “Can you show me how? I wanna try.” He tried to move, to sit up, but gave up quickly. “Is it going to hurt for long? I don’t like it, Ada.”

“I can’t show you right now. It would hurt too much.” Ada bit her lip and drew her eyebrows together, her worry obvious. “You’ll recover, soon. It might take a while, but it won’t be like this forever. I don’t think they broke much…”

The pain was still there, constantly throbbing, and he had no energy. He yawned, grimacing yet again. “I’m tired Ada. If I go to sleep, will you be here when I wake up again?”

Ada smiled a little bit and nodded. “Of course I will, Jos. And maybe Theo will join me.” She sighed a little then grinned.

Josua smiled back. “Thanks big sis…” Already drowsy, he quickly fell asleep.

The bruising faded after a few weeks, and by a month and a half, the various fractures and breaks had also healed. He’d not been able to move much at all for the first week or so, and only a bit with assistance for the weeks after. After this, having taken some painkillers to suppress residual pain, he was finally given some tin to burn. His father had organized for a trainer, and so Jos had gone to the room set aside for them. Waiting outside was Ada. As he approached, she smiled. "Looking forward to this, Jos?"

He nodded. "Yes, though slightly nervous. What's it like? To burn tin?"

Her smile grew to a grin. "That's what you're here to find out. Best not to keep the trainer waiting."

With that, Ada opened the door, stepping aside so Jos could enter, before entering in after, closing the door and standing to the side.

Standing on the other side of the room, looking out a window, was an older man, with thinning grey hair.

"Punctual. Good." The man turned around. "I will be training you to be a tineye." He held up a small glass vial. “This vial contains tin. When you Snapped, you gained the ability to burn tin to enhance your senses. All of them. That’s what knocked you out when you were Snapped. It’s also why you’ve not been allowed to use any till now. It will amplify any pain you have. I want you to drink this, and try to burn it. Slowly.”

Josua took the vial. Ada stood nearby, smiling encouragingly. Josua unstopped the vial, and downed the liquid. He pulled a face as the liquid, obviously containing the tang of tin, went down his throat. “What ne…” Something changed. He could feel something, a warmth in his stomach. He cocked his head to the side. “I think I feel it. How do I burn it?” He tentatively tried to ‘use it’. It made it feel different slightly. He tried a bit harder. With a flash, everything got stronger, brighter, louder. He stopped immediately. “Ahh…” His head was ringing, and he shielded his eyes. Shaking his head to clear it. “Everything… exploded.”

Ada moved closer, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “It does that the first few times. You’ll get used to it.” She whispered, smiling a little bit at him.

Jos smiled back, returning the gentle squeeze. "Okay."

“Looks like you flared tin.” The instructor commented. “Flaring it burns it quicker but enhances the effect, something you’ll take a bit of getting used to. You need to get used to regulating how much you burn it. Try it again, and slowly warm into it this time.”

This time Josua closed his eyes. He reached out to the tin he could feel in his stomach, gently burning it, and as slowly as he could, increase the burn rate. As it did, he could feel the world come alive. The small sounds of Ada and the instructor as they waited, the texture of his clothing. The unique smell of the room and its inhabitants. While it’d had been there before, it felt so much clearer. He slowly opened his eyes. Everything was so crisp and detailed. Looking around, his eyes picked out details in the furniture he’d never seen before. He looked at Ada, her red hair looking much more vibrant. He moved to the window, looking out on the courtyard beyond. He could see much farther in greater detail, picking up on details in the armor of the guard patrolling on the opposite side of the courtyard. Then the warmth in his stomach faded, and abruptly everything disappeared. The tin had run out. The trainer didn’t do much else with him that day, just letting burn some tin. Lessons started the next day. His education took off at this point. He started to learn how to use tin, how to focus on one thing, but also normal lessons in reading and numbers and suchlike.

The next few years were punctuated by a few events. Ada training increased meaning Jos couldn’t spend as much time with her as he had. Their mother Alma suddenly left for the Terris Domain for ‘medical’ reasons. A month later Dimitar told Ada, Theo and Jos that she’d left him, not giving them any more details than that. In 909, Ada had her court debut, so her time became more wrapped up in that.

At the age of 11, Jos was taken to and shown around the House plantations and factories to give him an appreciation of what the house did. This ended up being a multi-week roundtrip. While he was gone, Ada tried to kill Dimitar, and then herself.

When he arrived home, neither Ada nor Theo was around. He was directed to find his father, who he found in his office. Jos could tell he was in pain. “Father, what happened?”

“Your sister happened, that’s what. Tried to kill me. Failed obviously.”

“Ada wouldn’t do something like that. I don’t believe you.”

“Then go ask her yourself. You should find her confined in her room.”

Jos didn’t want to believe Ada would have tried to do that, so he immediately left to go find her, going to her room. There was a big muscly man guarding her door. Ignoring him, Jos knocked quietly on the door. “Ada, are you there?”

He heard some movement in the room. “Who is it?” Ada called out.

“It’s Jos... May I come in?”

“Jos? Of course!” He opened the door. “I didn’t know you were back!” she continued.

Entering the room, he saw Ada was sitting on her bed. He ran over and gave her a hug. “I just got back. It’s good to see you big sis.”

She returned the hug. “I’m so glad your back, Jos.” She said softly.

He smiled. “I’m happy to be home. I’ve missed you and Theo.” Then his smiled faded. “Ada… Dimitar….he… he said you tried to kill him…”

Her face darkened as she nodded. “I did. I was tired, Jos. I was tired of him controlling me. I wanted it to stop.”

What? She did try to kill him? But…. But… Jos didn’t want to believe that his sister had tried to kill someone. “Couldn’t you just tell him to stop? Or… or… run away?”

She looked at him. “Run away? And do what, Jos? I can’t leave you and Theo, and he wasn’t going to stop. Not unless I had some kind of leverage against him.”

“I…” Jos gave her another hug. “I guess I wouldn’t have liked it if you had run away.”

“I would have always come back.” She said. “I doubt I would have gotten very far before realizing how much I didn’t want to leave you two.”

Jos smiled, still giving Ada a hug. He noticed the man outside the door shift around. “Ada, why is that guy outside your door?

Ada’s face went blank. “Father thinks I might try to kill myself.”

Jos was confused. She couldn’t… she wouldn’t have… would… would she? But… But.. Jos pulled backed. He was worried. “But you wouldn’t try and kill yourself! Would you?”

Ada hesitated. “Well, I did fail…But yes, I tried.”

This is not what Jos wanted to hear. He started to tear up a little. “But why!?”

Ada looked sad. “I wanted it to stop. I’m sorry Jos.” She pulled him into a hug. “I didn’t want to leave you and Theo alone, in the end.”

Jos hugged her tight. “Don’t every leave, Ada. Not ever.”

Ada smiled. “I won’t”

Content that he didn’t have to worry about losing his sister, he sat in silence, still hugging Ada, resting his head on her arm. I’m happy I’m home. I‘ve missed Ada and Theo. Theo! He brightened up. ”Is Theo around? I’ve not seen him yet.”

Ada nodded. “I don’t know where he is, though.” She said with a shrug.

Jos jumped up. It’ll be good to see Theo! He was excited again. “Can we go find him?”

“Of course we can, Jos” Ada said with a slight smile as she stood up to follow him. He shot her a grin as they left the room, ignoring the guard who now started to follow them.

Life got busier after this. Jos’ training started to get more intensive with combat training being thrown into the mix. Theo debuted the next year, before leaving for the House factories the year after to receive more advanced training in the art of creating medicines, poisons, and their antidotes. In 915, it was time Josua’s debut.

Getrue was one of, if not the most, powerful House in Klessium. Sure it had rivals, and it didn’t necessarily have the most influence in Klessium, but equally it was sitting in the best position to push for ascension in the relatively near future. This meant that he was immediately worthy of a reasonable level of respect, similar to someone of a Great House in Luthadel would be. However, balls didn’t overly excite him. Sure, they were fine enough ways to pass time, but it didn’t really excite him as much as it seemed to excite others. He made a bunch of friends fairly quickly, but then made the mistake of trusting them, or at least one in particular. He’d become quite good friends with one of the group his age in particular, but then they betrayed his trust.
That promptly ended the friendship, and Jos trust in the rest of his friends. Sure, his public façade was affable enough with the rest of his friends, but he wasn’t going to let them get close.

Fortunately, it wasn’t long before Jos left for Getrue’s factories for more intensive training. This training was to start learning the art of creating poisons and their antidotes, as well as learning to recognize them using tin enhanced senses, plus poison augmented combat training. Jos loved this. He had inherited the Getrue passion for poisons. He learnt quickly, and while he didn’t have quite the same knack for it that Theo did, he was still quite proficient at creating and using a number of different poisons. He found the effects of the different poisons on different people fascinating, how the same dose of something reacted differently on each person, how different delivery methods had varying reaction times.

Getrue was hoping to push to ascend to the position of a Great House in the relative near future, so needed to increase its presence in Luthadel. So in 917, Ada and Theo moved to Luthadel, Jos following a few months later after finishing up at the factories.

It was quite different in Luthadel. Back in Klessium, Getrue was a High House, and in a position to push for ascension. However, Luthadel contained eight Great Houses, so each currently more powerful than Getrue, in addition to the other Houses vying for influence in Luthadel as well. Rather than being near the top, the power to topple, here they were just a part of the crowd, another rival looking for an opportunity to rise higher, and to make their fellows fall. If Getrue was going to make a push for ascension, they were going to have to work for it.



Posted Image

(A scene from this character's viewpoint. Take care in picking a scene. It could be a scene from the past or it could happen practically during current events. In any case, write something important to the character so everyone can truly feel the character)

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image


#3 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

355
Looking Good in Red

Posted 25 September 2014 - 06:06 PM

I think the biggest area that could use some expansion and polish here is the personality section. You do a good job of discussing his commitment to his family and his interests, but I would like to see more about his social behaviour in other contexts.

A small thing about the end of the history: there should be 10 great houses, not 8.

Other than that, it looks like things are coming along good here. You've done a good job of filling in the blanks left the other characters' applications. Now I'd like to see more of what makes Jos unique, and what you as an author are wanting to add to help flesh out the outline you've sketched here.

Keep up the great work :)

Posted Image


#4 MozytheHealer

92
Posse Member

Posted 29 September 2014 - 04:15 PM

I have no real criticism for the character, I just have a small note. I recently decided that when the young Getrue's are sent away to complete their training, they must still come back to Klessium once a week(or once every two weeks) and make an appearance in society. Especially since Josua is pretty highly ranked in the house, being a second son and the third child of the house head. That kind of training in society is pretty important. So I'd like to see that taken into account in his history. This doesn't have to change much about what happens in his history, or his relationship with his siblings. I know that Theo rarely is able to have a real conversation with Ada even when he does come back. I think the factories are close enough to Klessium that the young nobles are able to just come back for the ball and then leave in the morning, or even just that night.

Edited by MozytheHealer, 29 September 2014 - 04:15 PM.

PCs:

Delve, Silvan Calomine, Zella Calomine, Liss

Renette Deveaux, Marceline Dumont

Isabelle Sureau, Gisela Sureau,

Adalaide Getrue, Oliver Martel,

Grandell Tekiel, Yvette Valcier,

Katryn Domaille

WIPs:

Ranee, Delacey,

Theodoric Getrue, Kyl,

Vanessa Venture, Cedric Hallieau

Cordelia Morel, Kennith Fathvell

NPCs:

Issa Calomine, Randall Scanlan


#5 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 30 September 2014 - 01:33 AM

@Mozy: Okay cool. That's useful to know. I was thinking of adding/rewriting a few bits to do a bit more showing as opposed to telling, so that'll be useful to incorporate into it.

Edited by Haelbarde, 30 September 2014 - 11:40 AM.

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users