Jump to content


The Lord Ruler's perfect capital city, Luthadel, is doing the impossible: rebelling. Skaa half-breeds are being taught the power of Allomancy, something that the Lord Ruler's obligators said only existed in the nobility. The enslaved skaa, with their murderous benefactor, now fight back against a living god's oppression.

So, the Inquisition was formed. The nobles begin to fear assassination from all sides. The times of nobility Mistborn killing each other are over. The Steel Inquisitors look for aristocrat traitors and insurgent skaa, and the skaa try with all their strength to merely survive. The Lord Ruler's perfect Final Empire is slowly devolving into chaos.

Read the full prologue!

Topics on the forum will contain spoilers for the Mistborn Trilogy









Mistborn Series © Brandon Sanderson
Allomantic Table, Symbols, and Cartography by Isaac Stewart
Luthadel Images: mking2008
Other Graphics: KChan at 17th Shard
Final Empire, Metallic Arts, and Style Guides by Chaos at 17th Shard
All original characters, places, and documentation are property of their creators. Do not reproduce or republish without permission.

A subsidiary of 17th Shard, the Official Brandon Sanderson Fansite

Aurora Urvon - Urvon Rioter and Potential Heir



18 replies to this topic

#1 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 03 January 2015 - 05:48 AM

With Eclipse's permission, I've started to give writing Aurora of House Urvon a shot. For context, she's sister to Astor Urvon and cousin to Trenton Urvon. This is just my first run for her history, taking the point about her irritation with Astor and running with it, having loads of fun. So far, I've just worked through Astor's app. If you've read Trenton's, I've not yet incorporated any details from that into here yet, though I don't think it conflicts at all with what I've written. Though I've added 1 or 2 details from Bernard Urvon's app, I've yet to deal with her relationship with her father.

So this is basically just a History sketch focusing on her relationship with her brother. I'll incorporate her relationships with her cousin and parents in subsequent drafts.

Lastly, I had a look at the character dice rolls Posted Image I got KChan to do for me ages ago, and one is perfect for Aurora. I've included at the bottom, but I'll put here too. I think you'll agree it works in nicely.

Rolled Attributes
Social Skills: Superior
Combat Ability: Underdeveloped
Resources: Improved
Allomantic Skill: Maximum






AURORA URVON
Noble Misting



Posted Image

Name/Handle: Haelbarde
Contact: PM first, IM after I've talked to you





Posted Image

Name: Aurora Urvon
Type: Noble
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Place of Origin: Fellise
Occupation: Heir Wannabe
Relationship Status: Single





Posted Image

(If Applicable. Remove section if your character has no powers)
Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Zinc
Degree of Skill: Advanced
Status: Hidden


Posted Image

(Include height, build, hair, eyes, and their general demeanor in your description, in prose format - no subheaders, please, and no images.)


Posted Image

(Also include their moral attitudes, prejudices, and any mental disorders. Do not list, quote, or copy/paste anything from the sixteen personality types - you can use them as personal reference for your writing, but do your own work for your own character. We want to see your writing, not someone else's classifications.)


Posted Image

Special Skills: (For example, things like Reading, Writing, Knife Fighting, Lying, Observation, etc.)

Strengths: (Try to make strengths and weaknesses relevant to your character. Try to tie them into your character's personality, experiences, relationships, etc.)

Weaknesses: (Make sure your character's strengths and weaknesses are balanced. Try to avoid talking up your character's strengths and downplaying their weaknesses. We all have flaws; it's what makes us human, and our characters feel real. This is a great place to make your character even more interesting.)





Posted Image

(Give this thought. Make the character feel like a real person. Include major events in the character's life. For example, if the character is an Allomancer, include how he or she snapped. Try to understand what events shaped your character into his current perspective. Also, for simplicity, please name the year the character was born and their parents' name, for the purposes of the Timeline thread. The year the character is born is simply 918 - their age.)

Aurora was born in 901 to Bernard and Katarina Urvon. She was their second child, their first child, Astor, being 18 months old by this point. This would become the first thing on her long, but ever growing, list of grievances she had with her brother. He was always first. Never mind that it wasn't his fault.

Once they both started being educated, she finally managed to beat her brother in something. For all his bookishness, he had no interest in politics, or balls, luncheons, or really doing anything with anyone. Nor did he really care for etiquette. She'd often see him skipping etiquette and dancing lessons, when he could get away with it, either hiding in the library or fighting imaginary foes with a stick. At the time, she hadn't started having lessons in any of those, but she knew that when she did, she would work super hard, ace everything, and overtake her brother, proving to everyone that she was better than he was. She refused to let her brother here the end of it. Now 8, she got joy out of reminding him incessantly about how much better she was than him, constantly teasing him about anything he struggled in. There were only 2 thing that he was actually competent at. He actually practiced both debating and dueling with their dad. If he actually started arguing back when she pestered him, it was a fair fight. He could even beat her in an argument. Another point on her list of grievances. Worse, her mum didn't want to let her learn to duel. "A noble lady has no need to learn to duel. It's beneath them, and you might injure yourself, or mar your appearance." How did they expect her to prove she was better than Astor if they didn't learn to duel?

The next year (910), Astor was snapped a Coinshot. He was an allomancer, with a showy ability. In theory it'd let him fly. This made him insufferable, taking every opportunity to rub his new power in her face. The most infuriating thing he'd do would be when she was practicing walking with high-heeled shoes, he'd use his power to push her just enough that she'd over balance and trip. To everyone else, it just look liked clumsiness, and she hated that. She could feel the push, and new it was him. No one believed her, as much as she protested about it. It'd be her turn eventually, and she *would* snap, and she *would* be better at whatever power she'd got.

Sure enough, in 911 her time came, and sure enough, she snapped. Even better, she snapped a Rioter, which was just splendid. It was exactly what she would have picked, given the choice, other than being a full mistborn of course. Also, now she could pay Astor back for all those times he'd rubbed his alomancy in her face, or made her look clumsy by making her trip up. Whenever she teased him, she could now make him feel exactly how she wanted him to. Astor annoyingly did not learn his lesson, and continued to harass her with his powers. This was kept up for years.

Later that year, Alfred Urvon, the current Head of House Urvon died, and so their father become the Head of the House. This was great news for Aurora. If her dad was Lord Urvon, did that make her a princess or something? As she grew older, she realized that he would eventually have to appoint a heir, who would eventually take over House Urvon. Obviously, then, her dad was going to have to appoint her heir, as anyone could see Astor would be completely useless for the job.

Astor debuted at the age of 16, a year before Aurora, and it was the worse. Particularly when he started getting set up with dates. All of them were dismal flops because all he'd do would be ramble about the latest dusty tome he'd found in the Canton of Doctrine library. When he didn't have a date, he basically didn't socialize at all, as far as she could tell. She was appalled he'd waste opportunities to talk to people like that. When it was her turn, she'd show him how it was done.

While she waited for her turn to debut, she knew that it was customary for the House Head to designate a heir after they had debuted, and Astor was obviously his favourite. Of course, she knew it just wouldn't work. Astor would be so much better suited for working in the Ministry. She suggested this to her parents frequently even. But 6 months after Astor's debut, incidentally around her 15th birthday, her dad named Astor as his Heir. She was furious. She confronted Astor, throwing a tantrum. "Why are you the heir? I'm a Rioter, I can actually politick, unlike you, I should be heir! You should just be my damned bodyguard!" She stormed off, Rioting him to ensure he felt terrible about it.

Eventually she turned 16, and it was her turn to debut, and it was glorious! So many people to meet, to talk to, and to dance with. And all the different dresses the ladies wore! She couldn't get enough of balls, always disappointed when they ended. She has spent the last 2 years making friends, and building a social network, hoping that if she can organize some lucrative deal for the family by herself, her father will just have to name her Heir instead, confirming to everyone, once and for all, that she is indeed far superior to her brother.




Posted Image


(A scene from this character's viewpoint. Take care in picking a scene. It could be a scene from the past or it could happen practically during current events. In any case, write something important to the character so everyone can truly feel the character)




Posted Image
Rolled Attributes
Social Skills: Superior
Combat Ability: Underdeveloped
Resources: Improved
Allomantic Skill: Maximum


Edited by Haelbarde, 07 January 2015 - 07:33 AM.

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image


#2 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 07 January 2015 - 08:00 AM

Here is my second draft. She's now a year older, and grows out of her childishness a bit more than in the first draft. Included a number more details, though they could still be fleshed out a bit more.



AURORA URVON
Noble Misting



Posted Image

Name/Handle: Haelbarde
Contact: PM first, IM after I’ve talked to you


Posted Image

Name: Aurora Urvon
Type: Noble
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Place of Origin: Felisse
Occupation: Socialite
Relationship Status: Single


Posted Image

(If Applicable. Remove section if your character has no powers)
Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Zinc
Degree of Skill: Maximum
Status: Hidden


Posted Image

(Include height, build, hair, eyes, and their general demeanor in your description, in prose format - no subheaders, please, and no images.)

Aurora is reasonably tall like her dad, but thinner like her mother, though not for the lack of eating. She has the black hair and brown eyes of her father. She often wears the house colours of maroon and silver not just out of a sense of duty, but because maroon is also her favourite colour. When she can, she’ll wear metal jewelry, though only if it can be easily and quickly detached – a result of having an annoying coinshot for a brother. Her jewelry will usually appear to be silver with inset rubies, regardless of whether or not the silver is actually metal.

She always holds herself straight, never slouching unlike her brother, endeavoring to always move as gracefully as possible. Her face often will be seen bearing a pleasant smile, and it’s a rare thing to see anger or annoyance flash across her face in public, even when she is angry or annoyed.

Posted Image

(Also include their moral attitudes, prejudices, and any mental disorders. Do not list, quote, or copy/paste anything from the sixteen personality types - you can use them as personal reference for your writing, but do your own work for your own character. We want to see your writing, not someone else's classifications.)

Unlike her brother, she has inherited her father’s social and negotiation skills, and she endeavors to replicate her mother’s firm quiet presence of respect that she generates by the way she presents herself. She has a deep respect for her mother, and cares for her family, though she doesn’t connect well with her father, and is constantly frustrated by her brother. Though Heir, he is socially awkward, and is currently ill prepared to running an ascending House in the future, with no obvious signs that he is doing anything about it. She constantly harasses him, hoping it might spur him into becoming a proper Heir. Though she is planning and preparing with Trenton Urvon for a power play to replace him as Heir of House Urvon, she does this for Astor’s, and the House’s, own sake, knowing that if he were to become Head, it would destroy him, taking the entire House with him. Rather she hopes he’ll grow to become a capable Heir, but she prepares for the worst.



Posted Image

Special Skills: (For example, things like Reading, Writing, Knife Fighting, Lying, Observation, etc.)

Strengths: (Try to make strengths and weaknesses relevant to your character. Try to tie them into your character's personality, experiences, relationships, etc.)

Weaknesses: (Make sure your character's strengths and weaknesses are balanced. Try to avoid talking up your character's strengths and downplaying their weaknesses. We all have flaws; it's what makes us human, and our characters feel real. This is a great place to make your character even more interesting.)


Posted Image

(Give this thought. Make the character feel like a real person. Include major events in the character's life. For example, if the character is an Allomancer, include how he or she snapped. Try to understand what events shaped your character into his current perspective. Also, for simplicity, please name the year the character was born and their parents' name, for the purposes of the Timeline thread. The year the character is born is simply 918 - their age.)

Aurora was born in the year 900 to Bernard and Katarina Urvon. She was their second child, their first child, Astor, now being a year old. It didn’t take them long to develop a sibling rivalry.

In the early years, Aurora hated that Astor got more attention than her. He also always got to do things before she did, and she’d have to wait a year before she’d get to. This lead to her always trying to do her best so that she could show everyone that she was worthy of more attention than Astor. They both started getting lessons, though Aurora had to wait for a year of course. That she lost a play mate in the meantime annoyed her as well. Aurora quickly caught up to, and then over took Astor in their studies, particularly in areas like etiquette and politics. Not only did she enjoy them the most, she knew Astor didn’t like them at all, often skipping those classes in favor of hiding in the library, or practicing his dueling, and that made her all the more determined to excel. The one thing she wasn’t taught was how to duel. This frustrated her. Astor got to, and not only that, her dad encouraged it, and practiced with him even, taking a personal part in his training. Her mother however was adamant that ‘combat training is not something a proper lady does’. She would later get lessons in self-defense, and got taught the basics of dueling, but never got the chance to train that skill. It was unfortunately one skill Astor would always trump her at.

Their rivalry continued, and she’d often tease Astor about being slow and boring. Slow because she’d caught up to him in learning, though a year younger, and boring because he spent most of his time with his nose in one book or another. She’d read the odd novel, sure, but reading books at every opportunity? That was way too much.

Astor was snapped a Coinshot at the age of 10. This made him insufferable. He rubbed his alomancy in her face constantly. The worse was when she tried to practice walking in high heels. Her mother would get her to dress up in a fancy clothes, complete with real jewelry, so she could imagine she was going to a ball, something she could not wait to do. Astor thought it incredibly amusing to give a small push on the metal of the jewelry to make her stumble or lose her balance and trip. Though she complained, no one took her seriously. She swore to Astor that when she snapped, she’d get her revenge. Astor wasn’t phased by this, and so kept harassing her whenever he got the chance.

A year later, she received the traditional beating, and snapped a Rioter. It’s exactly what she would have picked if given a choice, after being Mistborn of course. She of course took every opportunity to rub it in Astor’s face. Better yet, she could make sure he felt sorry. These childish feuds continued for the rest of the year. Events at the years end had a significant effect on her.
Eventually, the allomantically enhanced bickering between the two came to a head. Aurora pushed Astor too hard, causing him to snap, furious at her. He burnt his own metals and threw around, pushing nearby metals, some ricocheting off walls and hitting her. She was fortunate to only receive bruises and a few cuts. Both of them were sternly reprimanded for this. Only weeks later, this was followed by the death of Alfred Urvon, Head of House Urvon. Their father had been Heir, so he become Lord Urvon, the Head of the House. Their status now felt all the more important. They watched their father spend the next few months constantly stressed as he tried to learn to manage running a Major House on the brink of pushing for ascension. Aurora realized that either she or her brother would likely end up running the House in the future. She knew that if she were to going to run the House, she’d need to have learnt how to. Thus, she threw herself harder into her studies, and into her training with Zinc, now truly aware how dangerous a power it could be.

Astor did not, however, take to learning and training like she did. Rather, he spent more time reading books, particularly after discovering the Canton of Doctrine library. He also spent all the more time dueling. His managed to complete his other studies, including politics and etiquette, to a reasonable level, but ‘somewhat’ passable is not want should be describing the future leader of a near (or even entirely) ascended House. He didn’t seem to care, yet he was their father’s favorite. She could tell her father was no longer entirely comfortable around her, possibly due to her Rioter status, even though as a Smoker he couldn’t be affected by emotional alomancy. All indications were that Astor would be appointed heir unless she could show herself to be truly the only worthwhile option for the position. Otherwise she hoped that Astor would pull his act together.

A number of years passed, and then at the age of 16, Astor publicly debuted to the Luthadel court. It became obvious that he truly didn’t have Bernard’s same natural ability when it came to talking and negotiating, being quite socially awkward. This didn’t seem to matter to their father, and six months later Astor was proclaimed Bernard’s Heir as Head of House Urvon. Even now that he was officially named Heir, he still didn’t seem to treat it seriously enough for her. He didn’t seem to be aiming for the expectations that she envisioned being on the Heir of a House. She decided that something needed to be done. Either he needed to lift his game, or she needed to become heir. She took to pestering him to trying and get him to work harder, while still working and training as hard as she could to make herself the perfect candidate for running a House. The next 6 months flew past, and her time to debut came around in 916. She had been waiting for this moment since before she had been 10 years old.




To write:
> Stuff about the balls
> Friends she makes, so relationships have been established by the time of the RP
> Alliance with Trenton
> If I want to stick with make this a Dice Roll CCC, need to explain the ‘maximum’ allomantic power.



Posted Image

(A scene from this character's viewpoint. Take care in picking a scene. It could be a scene from the past or it could happen practically during current events. In any case, write something important to the character so everyone can truly feel the character)



URVON TIMELINE:
[738] House Urvon founded by Isaac Urvon
[???] Lucas Urvon takes over from Isaac Urvon
[???] Rebor born to Lucas Urvon
[???] Rebor replaces Lucas as Head of House Urvon
[814] Marcel born to Rebor Urvon
[824] Marcel snapped Mistborn
[8??] Necia Urvon (Rebor’s sister) killed, sparking interhouse conflict with Jedue.
[8??] Marcel becomes Head of House Urvon
[850] Marcel Urvon opens a mine outside of Valtroux City
[8??] Alfred become Head of House Urvon
[876] Bernard Urvon born to Alfred & Ariana Urvon
[891] Bernard debuted
[892] Bernard meets Katarina Harvell.
[897] Bernard marries Katarina
[899] Astor born to Bernard and Katarina
Trenton born to Lewes and Emassa Urvon
[900] Aurora born to Bernard and Katarina
[909] Astor snapped Coinshot
[910] Aurora snapped Rioter
Bernad becomes Head of House Urvon
[915] Astor debuts
Bernard makes Astor his Heir
[916] Aurora debuts
[917] Aurora and Trenton agree that should Urvon ascend and Astor becomes House Head, unless he improves, he’ll destroy the House with his incompetence. Make an agreement to consolidate their influence over their respective parts of the House to allow them to depose Astor and replace him with Aurora if need be.
[918] Current day.

Edited by Haelbarde, 07 January 2015 - 08:35 AM.

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image


#3 Eclipse

17
5th Tier Elariel

Posted 12 January 2015 - 01:23 AM

I'm loving how Aurora's turning out! If you have any more questions don't hesitate to ask

---Eclipse---

Player Characters:


Nobles:

Votir Zerrung, Bernard Urvon, Celestine Beliveaux


Skaa:

Avyn, Turnol, Lock(WIP)


Obligators:

Bertram Urvon(WIP)


In the Works:

Bastian Urvon: Mistborn

Astor Urvon:Urvon Heir

Trenton Urvon


#4 Aurora Urvon


  • Noble Rioter

30
Acolyte
  • Age18

  • Relationship StatusSingle

  • OriginLuthadel

  • Allomantic StatusRecently Outed

Posted 26 January 2015 - 08:57 AM

Here's draft 3. The notable changes are that the last two paragraphs (the Debut's and forwards) have been redone, and have now included stuff on her doing stuff with Trenton Urvon, as well as knowing Rosalie Deveaux. These paragraphs are of course subject to review, after the details of the interactions with those two characters are worked out. Additionally, I have details about her mother which need to be included to help flesh out and justify her personality and make sure Aurora ends up being the person she needs to be by the time of the RP.

I also added in some Strengths/Weakness, though these could probably be expanded more.

If people could give this a read and offer some feedback, that'd be much appreciated.

TO DO:
- Write in her mother
- Elaborate on her training (trained to recognize her own emotions being soothed/rioted)
- Review the way her drive is represented



AURORA URVON
Noble Misting



Posted Image

Name/Handle: Haelbarde
Contact: PM first, IM after I've talked to you



Posted Image

Name: No canon names. From any work. No Kelsiers, no Kaladins, no Rands. ObiWaan is not an acceptable Kandra name.
Type: Noble
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Place of Origin: Felisse
Occupation: Socialite
Relationship Status: Single



Posted Image

Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Zinc
Degree of Skill: Maximum
Status: Hidden


Posted Image


Aurora is reasonably tall like her father but thinner like her mother, though not for the lack of eating. She has the black hair and brown eyes of her father. She often wears the house colours of maroon and silver not just out of a sense of duty, but because maroon is also her favourite colour. When she can, she'll wear metal jewelry, though only if it can be easily and quickly detached – a result of having an annoying coinshot for a brother. Her jewelry will usually appear to be silver with inset rubies, regardless of whether or not the silver is actually metal.

She always holds herself straight, never slouching unlike her brother, endeavoring to always move as gracefully as possible. Her face often will be seen bearing a pleasant smile, and it's a rare thing to see anger or annoyance flash across her face in public, even when she is angry or annoyed.

Posted Image

(Also include their moral attitudes, prejudices, and any mental disorders. Do not list, quote, or copy/paste anything from the sixteen personality types - you can use them as personal reference for your writing, but do your own work for your own character. We want to see your writing, not someone else's classifications.)

Unlike her brother, she has inherited her father's social and negotiation skills, and she endeavors to replicate her mother's firm quiet presence of respect that she generates by the way she presents herself. She has a deep respect for her mother, and cares for her family, though she doesn't connect well with her father, and is constantly frustrated by her brother. Though Heir, he is socially awkward, and is currently ill prepared to running an ascending House in the future, with no obvious signs that he is doing anything about it. She constantly harasses him, hoping it might spur him into becoming a proper Heir. Though she is planning and preparing with Trenton Urvon for a power play to replace him as Heir of House Urvon, she does this for Astor's, and the House's, own sake, knowing that if he were to become Head, it would destroy him, taking the entire House with him. Rather she hopes he'll grow to become a capable Heir, but she prepares for the worst.



Posted Image

Special Skills: Negotiation, Persuasion.

Strengths: Aurora has spent most of her life diligently training her verbal skills, becoming an effective negotiator and very persuasive without the use of her allomancy. Her Rioting builds right on top of these skills, relying on an understanding of how to make people do what she wants, which combined with years of practice have made her remarkably skilled for one of her age.

Weaknesses: She spends much of her time worrying about what her brother Astor is doing. Though she knows she's better than him at most things, because Astor is their father's favorite and not close to Aurora, Aurora feels driven to push herself harder to prove herself to her father.

She has two rules about how she will use her allomancy, which could potentially be considered weaknesses. She will only use it for the benefit of House Urvon, and never on someone she considers a friend.



Posted Image

(Give this thought. Make the character feel like a real person. Include major events in the character's life. For example, if the character is an Allomancer, include how he or she snapped. Try to understand what events shaped your character into his current perspective. Also, for simplicity, please name the year the character was born and their parents' name, for the purposes of the Timeline thread. The year the character is born is simply 918 - their age.)

Aurora was born in the year 900 to Bernard and Katarina Urvon. She was their second child, their first child, Astor, now being a year old. It didn't take them long to develop a sibling rivalry.

In the early years, Aurora hated that Astor got more attention than her. He also always got to do things before she did, and she'd have to wait a year before she'd get to. This lead to her always trying to do her best so that she could show everyone that she was worthy of more attention than Astor. They both started getting lessons, though Aurora had to wait for a year of course. That she lost a play mate in the meantime annoyed her as well. Aurora quickly caught up to, and then over took Astor in their studies, particularly in areas like etiquette and politics. Not only did she enjoy them the most, she knew Astor didn't like them at all, often skipping those classes in favor of hiding in the library, or practicing his dueling, and that made her all the more determined to excel. The one thing she wasn't taught was how to duel. This frustrated her. Astor got to, and not only that, her father encouraged it, and practiced with him even, taking a personal part in his training. Her mother however was adamant that 'combat training is not something a proper lady does'. She would later get lessons in self-defense, and got taught the basics of dueling, but never got the chance to train that skill. It was unfortunately one skill Astor would always trump her at.

Their rivalry continued, and she'd often tease Astor about being slow and boring. Slow because she'd caught up to him in learning, though a year younger, and boring because he spent most of his time with his nose in one book or another. She'd read the odd novel, sure, but reading books at every opportunity? That was way too much.

Astor was snapped a Coinshot at the age of 10. This made him insufferable. He rubbed his alomancy in her face constantly. The worse was when she tried to practice walking in high heels. Her mother would get her to dress up in a fancy clothes, complete with real jewelry, so she could imagine she was going to a ball, something she could not wait to do. Astor thought it incredibly amusing to give a small push on the metal of the jewelry to make her stumble or lose her balance and trip. Though she complained, no one took her seriously. She swore to Astor that when she snapped, she'd get her revenge. Astor wasn't phased by this, and so kept harassing her whenever he got the chance.

A year later, she received the traditional beating, and snapped a Rioter. It's exactly what she would have picked if given a choice, after being Mistborn of course. She of course took every opportunity to rub it in Astor's face. Better yet, she could make sure he felt sorry. These childish feuds continued for the rest of the year. Events at the years end had a significant effect on her.

Eventually, the allomantically enhanced bickering between the two came to a head. Aurora pushed Astor too hard, causing him to snap, furious at her. He burnt his own metals and threw around, pushing nearby metals, some ricocheting off walls and hitting her. She was fortunate to only receive bruises and a few cuts. Both of them were sternly reprimanded for this. Only weeks later, this was followed by the death of Alfred Urvon, Head of House Urvon. Their father had been Heir, so he become Lord Urvon, the Head of the House. Their status now felt all the more important. They watched their father spend the next few months constantly stressed as he tried to learn to manage running a Major House on the brink of pushing for ascension. Aurora realized that either she or her brother would likely end up running the House in the future. She knew that if she were to going to run the House, she'd need to have learnt how to. Thus, she threw herself harder into her studies, and into her training with Zinc, now truly aware how dangerous a power it could be.

Astor did not, however, take to learning and training like she did. Rather, he spent more time reading books, particularly after discovering the Canton of Doctrine library. He also spent all the more time dueling. His managed to complete his other studies, including politics and etiquette, to a reasonable level, but 'somewhat' passable is not want should be describing the future leader of a near (or even entirely) ascended House. He didn't seem to care, yet he was their father's favorite, and as they approached the age of 16, it became clear that Astor would be named heir. She even confronted her father about this issue, just before Astor's 16th birthday, arguing her case. Bernard said he'd take what she'd said under consideration, but she knew that it wasn't going to change anything. That he'd grown more distant due to a distrust of her emotional alomancy hadn't helped. She couldn't help that she was good at it, and not only that, enjoyed using her power. Really, it was just an extension of the skills of negotiation and persuasion, skills that she'd inherited the knack for from her father.

In 915, Astor debuted. Though he didn't enjoy them, that he could go to them made Aurora jealous. She really did not want to wait for the better part of a year for her 16th birthday to debut. Worse, she knew for a fact that other girls her age had already debuted. Rosalie Deveaux, who she had met when her father had taken her with him to business meetings with the Deveaux's, had debuted around the same time as Astor. After only a few months, her parents gave in, and it was her turn to debut.

Aurora debuted in a lovely maroon gown that was covered in intricate silver embroidery, with her sole piece of jewelry being a delicate necklace made of real silver, with a beautiful ruby set into a silver pendant hanging from the necklace. The night was amazing. She got to dance, and she got to meet loads of new people. She also got to talk to Rosalie Deveaux again, and the pair quickly became good friends, catching up with each other often, both at balls, and outside of them.

Only a couple of months later, Astor was named Heir to House Urvon. Though she was still annoyed that he had indeed be named Heir, being unsuitable as far as she was concerned, she had come to terms with the fact at some level, knowning there was nothing she could do with it. She just hoped that now that he was formally named Heir, he'd take things a bit more seriously and actually learn how to do useful things – things like knowing how to effectively run a house as opposed to how to be a good duelist. However, as the next few years went by, there was really no indication she could see that he was trying to improve.

It was during this time that she got to know her cousin Trenton a bit better. He'd always been around, but she'd never really interacted with him much because their interactions didn't really overlap, and they had been trained and educated at different times. He'd become disillusioned with his family, and wanted revenge on his parents for the way they'd treated him. He was planning a power play, banking on the fact that Urvon would push to ascended, and that when the assassins came, he would ensure they'd find his parents, having already gotten the loyalty of all their followers. Aurora didn't necessarily agree with what he was doing, but she saw an opportunity with this situation. If Urvon ascended, Astor would be Heir to a Great House. Should anything happen to their father, he would become the Head of a Great House, and if that happened right now, she knew the House would fall. She needed a plan to take control of Urvon should Astor become Head before he'd matured enough to do what was necessary to become a decent leader. So Aurora decided to go along with Trenton's plan. She would also build support of her own, and support Trenton, and in return Trenton would support her should she need to displace Astor. This also let her keep an eye on Trenton, and put her in a position where she could stop his plans if she could see them being ultimately detrimental to House Urvon.



Posted Image

(A scene from this character's viewpoint. Take care in picking a scene. It could be a scene from the past or it could happen practically during current events. In any case, write something important to the character so everyone can truly feel the character)





Posted Image
Rolled Attributes
Social Skills: Superior
Combat Ability: Underdeveloped
Resources: Improved
Allomantic Skill: Maximum


Edited by Haelbarde, 28 January 2015 - 01:00 AM.


#5 Aurora Urvon


  • Noble Rioter

30
Acolyte
  • Age18

  • Relationship StatusSingle

  • OriginLuthadel

  • Allomantic StatusRecently Outed

Posted 28 January 2015 - 11:21 AM

As promised, this is basically an entire rewrite. Apart from maybe half a dozen sentences, I rewrote the history entirely. I feel like the quality of the writing this draft is much better than the previous attempts. In this rewrite, I have also been able to address a number of the issues I was aware of, and add the information I knew it still needed. The only notable absence is stuff that I'd like Aurora to have to do with a number of Deveaux's.



AURORA URVON
Noble Misting



Posted Image

Name/Handle: Haelbarde
Contact: PM first, IM after I've talked to you



Posted Image

Name: Aurora Urvon
Type: Noble
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Place of Origin: Felisse
Occupation: Socialite
Relationship Status: Single



Posted Image

Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Zinc
Degree of Skill: Advanced
Status: Hidden



Posted Image


Aurora is reasonably tall like her father but thinner like her mother, though not for the lack of eating. She has the black hair and brown eyes of her father. She often wears the house colors of maroon and silver not just out of a sense of duty, but because maroon is also her favorite color. When she can, she'll wear metal jewelry, though only if it can be easily and quickly detached – a result of having an annoying Coinshot for a brother. Her jewelry will usually be something silver with inset rubies, often a just a necklace, and real metal more often than not.

She always holds herself straight, never slouching unlike her brother, endeavoring to always move as gracefully as possible. Her face often will be seen bearing a pleasant smile, and it's a rare thing to see anger or annoyance flash across her face in public, even when she is angry or annoyed.

Posted Image


Unlike her brother, she has inherited her father's social and negotiation skills, and she endeavors to replicate her mother's firm, quiet presence, though she suspects that it's something that is easier to pull off the older you are. She has a deep respect for her mother, and constantly seeks her father's approval of her. Her brother constantly frustrates her, but the frustration is born mostly from him not meeting the high expectations she holds for the position he holds as Heir to a House seeking to ascend. Though she is setting in place plans to displace him should he become Head, she'll instantly abandon them should he eventually meet her expectations before it's too late.

She doesn't have any special opinions about skaa. They, like a lot of minor nobles, are all the same to her. Beneath her. As House Urvon sets its sights on ascension, she only has time for time for those of similar or greater rank, unless they are of some benefit to Urvon, or are an obstacle to remove.

She is aware of the stigma associated with Rioters or Soothers – she sees glimpses of it in the eyes of her father. Thus she has made herself a rule to govern her allomancy. She will only use it to the benefit of House Urvon, but never to the detriment of a friend.

Posted Image

Special Skills: Negotiation

Strengths: She's great at talking to people, and an excellent negotiator without the use of allomancy, thus even better when she does, though she's not had the opportunity to take part in any major contracts yet.

Weaknesses: She has made the decision that she won't ever use her allomancy on a friend to get her own way.



Posted Image


Aurora was born in the year 900 to Bernard and Katarina Urvon. She was their second child, with their first child, Astor, now being a year her senior. As a young child, she got her share of attention from her parents, though she was too young to truly remember it. However, by the age of four, she decided that Astor got more attention than she did, and so a rivalry between the pair quickly arose. Whether or not it was true then, it certainly become so. Their father Bernard was the Heir to House Urvon, and the current Lord was the getting old. Were he to pass on, Bernard would become Head, and thus Astor would be the favorite to become the new Heir. This was accentuated by the fact that while Bernard really connected with Astor, the same connection was never quite there with Aurora, something which would only worsen through time. Wanting the same sort of attention from her father that Astor got, she would try her hardest to do the best at whatever she tried her hand at, to make him proud of her. When they started to be formally educated, though Astor started first, Aurora quickly overtook. When this didn't help to get Bernard to connect with Aurora, this quickly became a point of contention with her brother. Though she knew was better than a lot of things than him, he was their father's favorite, and she blamed her brother for that fact, rather than her father. She would pester and tease him constantly, whether about how slow he was at learning, or about always reading something.

The same issue, of course, did not occur with their mother. Knowing Bernard struggled to connect with Aurora, she made sure watch out for Aurora in particular. As they grew older, and Bernard spent time reading and dueling with Astor, Katarina would spend time with Aurora. Aurora looked up to her. She had a firm, quiet, yet powerful presence that she projected into the space around her, wrapped up in the way she dressed, held herself, and spoke. Katarina would personally mentor her in becoming a proper noblewoman: the importance of posture, how to move gracefully, how to choose an ensemble to wear, etc. The one thing that she refused to let Aurora do was duel, being adamant that 'combat training is not for proper noblewomen'. She would later be given some training in self-defense, and taught the basics of how to hold and use different weapons, but not much more than that. This would be a contention between the siblings. It was the one area in which Astor excelled, and the one she couldn't touch.

When each of them reach the age of 10, they were Snapped. Astor Snapped a Coinshot, and for the next year he was completely insufferable. Whereas before she could bully him around if she wanted, anything she said just bounced off. He was special. He was an allomancer. He could fly if he wanted to. Worse, he took every opportunity to rub it in. Particularly if he could catch her wearing metal, something she'd tend to do when dressing up as a 'noblewoman going to a ball'. Though she complained about it, no one paid her complaints much attention. She learned two things quickly though. Don't wear impractically tall high heels (being tall for her age already, this was not likely to be an issue), and only wear metal jewelry that can be quickly and easily detached. This is something she has stuck with ever since, often wearing a single piece of jewelry – a necklace to match her outfit, made with a clasp easy to pull off in an instant. When her turn came, she Snapped a Rioter. It was what she'd hoped for, if not straight out Mistborn. It was also perfect for rubbing her allomancy in Astor's face. Now, when she pestered him, she could make him feel what she wanted him to.

Eventually, the allomantically enhanced bickering between the two came to a head. Aurora pushed Astor too hard, causing him to snap, furious at her. He burnt his own metals and threw around, pushing nearby metals, some ricocheting off walls and hitting her. She was fortunate to only receive bruises and a few cuts. Both of them were sternly reprimanded for this. The result was a truce of sorts. Though it wasn't cut out entirely, they kept the bickering to a minimum. At her mother's suggestion, she decided that she needed to make rules for how she would use her allomancy. These evolved throughout the years, before settling on just a single statement. She would only use her allomancy for the benefit of House Urvon, but never to the detriment of a friend.

Only weeks after this incident came the death of Alfred Urvon, Head of House Urvon. Their father had been Heir, so he become Lord Urvon, the Head of the House. She had always sort of known that their father was going to become the Head of the House, but the true import of this only struck her once it had become a reality. Her or her brother would one day take over from their father and run House Urvon. This inspired her to throw herself at her studies with fresh enthusiasm. She wanted to have prepared as best she could, should it fall to her to run the House one day. She wanted to prove to herself, and to her family, particularly her father, that she would be able should that day come.

While she excelled in most areas she studied, her fortes were her negotiation skills and her allomancy, though really, they were basically the same thing. Negotiation required one to be able to read the others involved, knowing what to do or say at the right time to make them do precisely what you wanted. The real power of emotional allomancy came from knowing how subtlety influencing the right emotion, thus feeding on her knack for negotiation. The reverse is also true. Her allomancy was all the more effective for knowing how to take advantage of the state her allomancy put her target in. The other part of her allomantic training was to recognize the effects of allomancy being used on her.

Astor did not take the whole affair of being a potential Heir quite so seriously. While he did adequately in his studies, he painfully socially awkward, something made clear once he debuted. He still spent most of his time dueling and reading, particularly after discovering the library at the Canton of Doctrine. Thus their childhood rivalry evolved in an immense frustration on Aurora's part due to her brother. Though obviously unsuitable to be Heir, and thus the future ruler of House Urvon, Astor was their father's favorite, Bernard growing even more distant from Aurora after she snapped due to her emotional allomancy, and so it was likely to be Astor who would be eventually formally named Heir. Aurora wouldn't have minded so much if she thought he was capable, but as far as she could tell, he wasn't trying to lift his game. So, her pestering focused on trying to get him to better prepare himself to be Heir. It didn't have its desired outcome, but she didn't know what else she could do.

[Potential paragraph about meeting Deveaux before her debut]

Though she was meant to wait until her 16th birthday to debut at court, like Astor had, she was not content to wait. She pushed for it, and after a few months, her parents gave in. Aurora debuted in a lovely maroon gown that was covered in intricate silver embroidery, with her sole piece of jewelry being a delicate necklace made of real silver, with a beautiful ruby set into a silver pendant hanging from the necklace. [Continue talking about the night – refer to Deveaux stuff if relevant]

As he approached his 17th birthday, Astor was finally formally named Heir by their father. Though Aurora had made her opinions on the matter abundantly clear, it hadn't made any difference. She hoped that now that he was now formally Heir. It was not an immediate issue, so she would wait and see.

Later the next year, an opportunity presented itself. She was approached by one of her cousins, Trenton Urvon. She quickly learned that he was disgruntled with his parents, the leaders of one of the other two branches of House Urvon, making plans to depose them. He was loyal to House Urvon, just not his parents. He also believed Astor was unsuitable to rule the main branch of Urvon, a sentiment she currently agreed upon. She decided it could be to her advantage to collude with Trenton, preparing a power play should Urvon push for ascension. Trenton planned to gain the loyalty of all those in his branch and ensure that when the assassins came as Urvon tried to ascend, his parents would fall, and he'd step in and replace them. Aurora would do a something similar, setting in place a plan to depose Astor, were he to become Head. This would all only be a contingency. If Astor showed himself able to run a Great House, her plans could go forgotten, and she would be in a position to deal with Trenton should he disagree. Thus Aurora has spent the last year going to balls, socializing, and building her influence, hoping that her plans ultimately prove to be unnecessary.


Posted Image

(A scene from this character's viewpoint. Take care in picking a scene. It could be a scene from the past or it could happen practically during current events. In any case, write something important to the character so everyone can truly feel the character)



Posted Image
Rolled Attributes
Social Skills: Superior
Combat Ability: Underdeveloped
Resources: Improved
Allomantic Skill: Maximum


Edited by Haelbarde, 29 January 2015 - 03:34 AM.


#6 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 03 April 2015 - 07:02 AM

Just because things are a little slow right now, and so if any of you admins (or I guess anyone else) wanted something to do, you could have a read through Aurora's. Below is what I hope to be basically the app in its final form. The only addition (barring the Roleplay Sample of course) is highlighted in red, where I hope to get in a little more dialogue with Rosalie (and Renaud?), nicely wrapping up the conversation.

So, if there's any glaring errors, or you have any feedback, or your an admin who'd like to save themselves some time in the future when I actually submit this, give it a read and let me know what you think.

I think that the only real change between this and the previous draft is the inclusion of the two sections where she meets Rosalie & Renaud.

Thanks!



AURORA URVON
Noble Misting



Posted Image

Name/Handle: Haelbarde
Contact: PM first, IM after I’ve talked to you



Posted Image

Name: Aurora Urvon
Type: Noble
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Place of Origin: Felisse
Occupation: Socialite
Relationship Status: Single



Posted Image

Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Zinc
Degree of Skill: Advanced
Status: Hidden



Posted Image


Aurora is reasonably tall like her father but thinner like her mother, though not for the lack of eating. She has the black hair and brown eyes of her father. She often wears the house colors of maroon and silver not just out of a sense of duty, but because maroon is also her favorite color. When she can, she’ll wear metal jewelry, though only if it can be easily and quickly detached – a result of having an annoying Coinshot for a brother. Her jewelry will usually be something silver with inset rubies, often a just a necklace, and real metal more often than not.

She always holds herself straight, never slouching unlike her brother, endeavoring to always move as gracefully as possible. Her face often will be seen bearing a pleasant smile, and it’s a rare thing to see anger or annoyance flash across her face in public, even when she is angry or annoyed.

Posted Image


Unlike her brother, she has inherited her father’s social and negotiation skills, and she endeavors to replicate her mother’s firm, quiet presence, though she suspects that it’s something that is easier to pull off the older you are. She has a deep respect for her mother, and constantly seeks her father’s approval of her. Her brother constantly frustrates her, but the frustration is born mostly from him not meeting the high expectations she holds for the position he holds as Heir to a House seeking to ascend. Though she is setting in place plans to displace him should he become Head, she’ll instantly abandon them should he eventually meet her expectations before it’s too late.

She doesn’t have any special opinions about skaa. They, like a lot of minor nobles, are all the same to her. Beneath her. As House Urvon sets its sights on ascension, she only has time for time for those of similar or greater rank, unless they are of some benefit to Urvon, or are an obstacle to remove.

She is aware of the stigma associated with Rioters or Soothers – she sees glimpses of it in the eyes of her father. Thus she has made herself a rule to govern her allomancy. She will only use it to the benefit of House Urvon, but never to the detriment of a friend.

Posted Image

Special Skills: Negotiation

Strengths: She’s great at talking to people, and an excellent negotiator without the use of allomancy, thus even better when she does, though she’s not had the opportunity to take part in any major contract negotiations yet.

Weaknesses: She has had basically no combat training, and while she has seen death occur, she’s never been required to witness an execution, or had to perform one herself, managing thus far to avoid being too aware of the grittier side of the Final Empire. Thus, she would be useless in a real fight.

Though House and family come first, she has promised herself to never use her allomancy to the detriment of a friend. Fortunately these haven’t yet come into conflict, but she does not know what she would do should that time come.



Posted Image


Aurora was born in the year 900 to Bernard and Katarina Urvon. She was their second child, with their first child, Astor, now being a year her senior. As a young child, she got her share of attention from her parents, though she was too young to truly remember it. However, by the age of four, she decided that Astor got more attention than she did, and so a rivalry between the pair quickly arose. Whether or not it was true then, it certainly become so. Their father Bernard was the Heir to House Urvon, and the current Lord was the getting old. Were he to pass on, Bernard would become Head, and thus Astor would be the favorite to become the new Heir. This was accentuated by the fact that while Bernard really connected with Astor, the same connection was never quite there with Aurora, something which would only worsen through time. Wanting the same sort of attention from her father that Astor got, she would try her hardest to do the best at whatever she tried her hand at, to make him proud of her. When they started to be formally educated, though Astor started first, Aurora quickly overtook. When this didn’t help to get Bernard to connect with Aurora, this quickly became a point of contention with her brother. Though she knew was better than a lot of things than him, he was their father’s favorite, and she blamed her brother for that fact, rather than her father. She would pester and tease him constantly, whether about how slow he was at learning, or about always reading something.

The same issue, of course, did not occur with their mother. Knowing Bernard struggled to connect with Aurora, she made sure watch out for Aurora in particular. As they grew older, and Bernard spent time reading and dueling with Astor, Katarina would spend time with Aurora. Aurora looked up to her. She had a firm, quiet, yet powerful presence that she projected into the space around her, wrapped up in the way she dressed, held herself, and spoke. Katarina would personally mentor her in becoming a proper noblewoman: the importance of posture, how to move gracefully, how to choose an ensemble to wear, etc. The one thing that she refused to let Aurora do was duel, being adamant that ‘combat training is not for proper noblewomen’. She would later be given some training in self-defense, and taught the basics of how to hold and use different weapons, but not much more than that. This would be a contention between the siblings. It was the one area in which Astor excelled, and the one she couldn’t touch.

When each of them reach the age of 10, they were Snapped. Astor Snapped a Coinshot, and for the next year he was completely insufferable. Whereas before she could bully him around if she wanted, anything she said just bounced off. He was special. He was an allomancer. He could fly if he wanted to. Worse, he took every opportunity to rub it in. Particularly if he could catch her wearing metal, something she’d tend to do when dressing up as a ‘noblewoman going to a ball’. Though she complained about it, no one paid her complaints much attention. She learned two things quickly though. Don’t wear impractically tall high heels (being tall for her age already, this was not likely to be an issue), and only wear metal jewelry that can be quickly and easily detached. This is something she has stuck with ever since, often wearing a single piece of jewelry – a necklace to match her outfit, made with a clasp easy to pull off in an instant. When her turn came, she Snapped a Rioter. It was what she’d hoped for, if not straight out Mistborn. It was also perfect for rubbing her allomancy in Astor’s face. Now, when she pestered him, she could make him feel what she wanted him to.

Eventually, the allomantically enhanced bickering between the two came to a head. Aurora pushed Astor too hard, causing him to snap, furious at her. He burnt his own metals and threw around, pushing nearby metals, some ricocheting off walls and hitting her. She was fortunate to only receive bruises and a few cuts. Both of them were sternly reprimanded for this. The result was a truce of sorts. Though it wasn’t cut out entirely, they kept the bickering to a minimum. At her mother’s suggestion, she decided that she needed to make rules for how she would use her allomancy. These evolved throughout the years, before settling on just a single statement. She would only use her allomancy for the benefit of House Urvon, but never to the detriment of a friend.

Only weeks after this incident came the death of Alfred Urvon, Head of House Urvon. Their father had been Heir, so he become Lord Urvon, the Head of the House. She had always sort of known that their father was going to become the Head of the House, but the true import of this only struck her once it had become a reality. Her or her brother would one day take over from their father and run House Urvon. This inspired her to throw herself at her studies with fresh enthusiasm. She wanted to have prepared as best she could, should it fall to her to run the House one day. She wanted to prove to herself, and to her family, particularly her father, that she would be able should that day come.

While she excelled in most areas she studied, her fortes were her negotiation skills and her allomancy, though really, they were basically the same thing. Negotiation required one to be able to read the others involved, knowing what to do or say at the right time to make them do precisely what you wanted. The real power of emotional allomancy came from knowing how subtlety influencing the right emotion, thus feeding on her knack for negotiation. The reverse is also true. Her allomancy was all the more effective for knowing how to take advantage of the state her allomancy put her target in. The other part of her allomantic training was to recognize the effects of allomancy being used on her.

Astor did not take the whole affair of being a potential Heir quite so seriously. While he did adequately in his studies, he painfully socially awkward, something made clear once he debuted. He still spent most of his time dueling and reading, particularly after discovering the library at the Canton of Doctrine. Thus their childhood rivalry evolved in an immense frustration on Aurora’s part due to her brother. Though obviously unsuitable to be Heir, and thus the future ruler of House Urvon, Astor was their father’s favorite, Bernard growing even more distant from Aurora after she snapped due to her emotional allomancy, and so it was likely to be Astor who would be eventually formally named Heir. Aurora wouldn’t have minded so much if she thought he was capable, but as far as she could tell, he wasn’t trying to lift his game. So, her pestering focused on trying to get him to better prepare himself to be Heir. It didn’t have its desired outcome, but she didn’t know what else she could do.

In the year just prior to their debut, Bernard started to sometimes take Astor or Aurora (though never at the same time) along to one of his business meetings. Aurora always liked these. It was time she got to spend with her father, but it was also a great opportunity to see different places and people. It was during one of these that she met Rosalie Deveaux for the first time. Bernard had been looking to improve relations with House Deveaux for some time, and often met with people in Keep Deveaux. Aurora had been waiting outside a room where her father was finishing a conversation with some Deveaux businessman, when a girl that looked around her age walked past. It was obvious she wasn’t a servant, so Aurora, with a smile and a curtsey, said “Hello!” The girl smiled, though she looked a bit unsure of herself. “Hi…” came the reply. Aurora introduced herself. “Aurora Urvon.” After a pause, “Rosalie Deveaux” came the reply. “Pleased to meet you, Rosalie Deveaux. I’m here with my father.” She pointed over her shoulder with her thumb at the room behind her. “He’s still in there talking to someone.” Before Rosalie got to reply, the door opened, and Bernard walked out.

“I see you’ve made a friend there, Aurora. Well, say goodbye, because we need to hurry off. We have a few more errands to run before it gets too late.”

Bernard began walking down the hallway, beckoning Aurora to follow. She turned back to Rosalie. “Nice talking to you!” With that, she turned back and ran to catch up with her Dad, looking back, and giving a quick wave, before disappearing round a corner.

She met Rosalie again during a couple of their subsequent visits, and had another couple of short conversations on each visit. It was on one of these that she found out that Rosalie had turned 15, and debuted since they’d last met. Astor was to debut in the next few weeks, being 16, but she was meant to wait until her 16th birthday to debut at court. She was not content to wait, particularly if Rosalie, one of the few people her age she really knew, outside family, had already debuted. So she pushed to debut early, as soon as possible, and after a few months, her parents gave in.

Aurora debuted in a lovely maroon gown that was covered in intricate silver embroidery, with her sole piece of jewelry being a delicate necklace made of real silver, from which hung a silver pendant inset with a beautiful ruby. Her first thought as she entered the ballroom was that there were so many people. She was unsure exactly where to start until she spied Rosalie conversing with a boy a few years older than her. She said she had a brother, didn’t she? Aurora worked her way over to them, trying to avoid the urge to bounce excitedly around. As she approached, Rosalie caught her eye, turning to greet her with a smile. “Lady Aurora, it has been a while since I saw you; you’re looking well! I love your dress.”

Aurora smiled. “Lady Rosalie! It’s great to see you too!” She took a moment to have a good look at what Rosalie was wearing. “And you look great too!”

Rosalie’s maybe brother cleared his throat, getting Rosalie’s attention. “Oh! This is my oaf of a brother, Renaud. I don’t believe you’ve met… Renaud, this is Aurora Urvon.” So he was her brother then, Aurora thought. Renaud bowed slightly.

“It’s a pleasure, Lady Aurora.”

Aurora curtsied in return. “The pleasure’s mine, Lord Renaud.” Then, she addressed both of them. “So, are you both looking forward to this evening?” She looked around. “This is so exciting. So many people! And it still looks like more people are turning up, even!”

"I always get excited before the ball begins." Rosalie lent forward slightly "I don't get as nervous as Renaud though, mostly just excited."

A slight frown appeared on Renaud face as he spoke to his sister. "You do not have to tell every person about that Rosalie."

"Oh, hush. Everyone thinks it's cute." With that, Rosalie dismissed her brother with a small hand motion, while turning to watch the crowd, pulling Aurora aside. "I'm so glad you found us." She continued. "It's nice to see a familiar face. I do hope everyone gets here soon. The dancing is my favorite part."

Aurora noticed that Renaud was still hanging around, though Rosalie had indicated he could go. She made a mental note to ask her about it, if and when Renaud had actually gone.

"Were you waiting for anyone for anyone in particular, or just hoping for things to get started so we can get through dinner to the dances? I must say, I'm very much looking forward to that part of the evening. The most, probably."

[Just A Little More Dialogue On It’s Way]

The rest of the evening passed as a blur of sound, faces, food and just general excitement on Aurora’s part, and she was sad it had to finish. She would always look forward to the next ball.

As Astor approached his 17th birthday, he was finally formally named Heir by their father. Though Aurora had made her opinions on the matter abundantly clear, it hadn’t made any difference. She hoped that now that he was now formally Heir. It was not an immediate issue, so she would wait and see.

Later the next year, an opportunity presented itself. She was approached by one of her cousins, Trenton Urvon. She quickly learned that he was disgruntled with his parents, the leaders of one of the other two branches of House Urvon, making plans to depose them. He was loyal to House Urvon, just not his parents. He also believed Astor was unsuitable to rule the main branch of Urvon, a sentiment she currently agreed upon. She decided it could be to her advantage to collude with Trenton, preparing a power play should Urvon push for ascension. Trenton planned to gain the loyalty of all those in his branch and ensure that when the assassins came as Urvon tried to ascend, his parents would fall, and he’d step in and replace them. Aurora would do a something similar, setting in place a plan to depose Astor, were he to become Head. This would all only be a contingency. If Astor showed himself able to run a Great House, her plans could go forgotten, and she would be in a position to deal with Trenton should he disagree. Thus Aurora has spent the last year going to balls, socializing, and building her influence, hoping that her plans ultimately prove to be unnecessary. She also hopes that she’ll be able to begin to have a more active role in running the House in the near future.


Posted Image

(A scene from this character's viewpoint. Take care in picking a scene. It could be a scene from the past or it could happen practically during current events. In any case, write something important to the character so everyone can truly feel the character)



Posted Image
Rolled Attributes
Social Skills: Superior
Combat Ability: Underdeveloped
Resources: Improved
Allomantic Skill: Maximum


Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image


#7 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

354
House Raisaal

Posted 03 April 2015 - 05:01 PM

I think what you've done a good job here, and the app looks well fleshed out. The plotting is generally excellent and well thought out. Where I feel like you could use more development is in the character area. Right now, Aurora seems driven by her plotline, but we don't get a lot of how or why she does the things she does (particularly in the bit at the end where she decides to help Trenton). When I was reading at least, her plans to depose Astor seemed to come out of nowhere, despite the work you've done establishing their rivalry. I think focusing some more on the emotional impact of the rivalry, and the grudge she has against Astor, would give her some solid motivations for doing what she does.

Similarly, the personality section is reading a little flat. You often define her by comparing her to her parents and her brother, but if readers aren't familiar with them, this does not do much to define her character. I'd like to see more of who she is, what she likes and dislikes, etc. Again, this section seems to only take account of who she is in relation to her family, making her feel more like a plot tool than a living and breathing character. The last few Writing Excuses episodes were dealing with this specific topic, if you are interested. I'd advise you to think about aspects of her character that have nothing to do with her plotline, or perhaps even conflict or make her poorly suited to fulfill her role in the plot. What makes her unique and special? Although you've told the story from her point of view, it still feels like Astor and Trenton's story. Try to make it your own.

I think the strongest part is the plotline with Rosalie and Renuad, because it feels more like Aurora doing things she wants to do, rather than doing things the plot requires of her. Try to focus on these sections, and what Aurora is feeling during them. This might help you figure out what makes her tick, and in turn help you flesh out her personality.

One last note about the deposing plotline. Right now, there don't seem to be many stakes for Aurora. Sure, she doesn't get along with her brother, but is she really going to risk helping someone who is essentially (for right or for wrong) a traiter against the existing power structure of her house just because she thinks her brother might not be up to her standards as a leader? If this is her prime motivation, try to raise the stakes. Flesh out her relationship to her brother more to really show why Aurora fears her brother's rule. Does she find him totally incompetent, or is she fearful that her own safety and station will be in jeopardy when she inherits? Or, does she just really really hate Astor, and want him to fail? Does she want to prove herself to her parents? Right now, it seems like she is just plotting against him "just because", and it doesn't seem very in character. Developing more as an individual should help you to think more about her motivations, which will do some of the work of "raising the stakes" for you, so maybe focus on that first.

Anyways, I think this application is good, and my thoughts above are solely meant to improve Aurora and make her shine (like she would want, it seems).

Great work so far, and Happy Writing!!

Posted Image


#8 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 04 April 2015 - 01:55 AM

Thanks for that Coma!

I guess its the problem with trying to build a character out of whats been previously established about the character. I think I've made Aurora 'nicer' than what Astor's or Treton's apps seem to imply, presuming that their perspectives are negatively biased based on her status as Rioter, and with her sibling rivalry with Astor.

A reread of Trenton's app tells me that I really do need to up play the personal stake issue in her app. Making her nicer than Astor or Trenton's perceptions of her is fine, but in the way I've told the story, the problems seem a bit petty, and a full blown powerplay plot is over the top. Probably part of the problem is I've been working off the last thing Eclipse posted on Astor, and it hasn't yet gone into loads of detail on his point of view in the issue.

I think that last I talked with Eclipse, I think we had sort of worked out each others perception of the two characters and agreed on their motivations and what their family is like. I think that probably I'll need to talk to Eclipse again and have a brainstorm about escalating their rivalry in a manner that both makes sense for their characters, and actually justifies the deposing plotline.

Quote

I'd advise you to think about aspects of her character that have nothing to do with her plotline, or perhaps even conflict or make her poorly suited to fulfill her role in the plot.
That's a good point. Flawed characters are more interesting, and I don't think I've focused on that much at all. I'll need to have a think about that, but as I suspect I'll need to work a few more threads into the app anyway once I've talked to Eclipse about Astor, I can probably work something in at the same time. Also, working out how to escalate things will probably help work out how to make her more flawed.

Thanks again for your comments!

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image


#9 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

354
House Raisaal

Posted 04 April 2015 - 04:29 AM

Any time! Glad to see you already have ideas. Can't wait to see what you think up for her next!

Posted Image


#10 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 04 May 2015 - 09:01 AM

Had a busy month, so I've not made any progress quite yet. But what I thought I'd do is ask some questions here, and get some feedback on ideas.

The idea I had, and which I've run by Eclipse, is what if Aurora's allomancy gets outed to some degree as a result of something Aurora views as being Astor's fault.

The idea would be to have Astor start taking an active role in running the house, but start excerising their father's authority to stuff Aurora around, trying to make her mess up. He does this because he's sick of Aurora picking on him, and so's taking the chance to get her back. This'd just add to a build up of pent up frustration until still some event makes her snap (maybe he manages to put her a position where she embarrasses herself) and just rages at him, mass rioting at the same time. Stick this as happening in the last month or so, and make the Trenton stuff as having just been a few discussions where he's hinted about his plans and she hasn't paid it much attention until the present point, where she decides to go along with it for the time being.

Going with this would give better context, and more reason, for the deposing plot line, and gives her some drama to go on straight off.

It doesn't quite yet solve the question of what are her personal goals, and what does she love to do, but it's something.

What are peoples thoughts? Any ideas for how to implement that? Opinions on how being outed as a Rioter will affect her socially?

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image


#11 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

354
House Raisaal

Posted 05 May 2015 - 01:05 AM

I think that could work. The important thing would be to work through the plot in Aurora's head, and pay attention to how each step on the way makes her feel. If her motivations make sense in that context, then great. If it feels forced, try really focusing on Aurora and on what she would do, rather than what she should be doing.

Fleshing out the personality section more could help to. If you give her character traits that indicate a tendency towards vengeance and subterfuge, and a history to match, that could help to explain her recent behavior. Another idea could be to have someone, perhaps a supporter of Astor or Astor himself, who is jeopardizing something important to Aurora, giving her a personal stake in having Astor removed in order to protect herself, etc.

Those are just off the top of my head though. Hope they help!

Posted Image


#12 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 08 May 2015 - 08:41 AM

Thanks for your thoughts. This is where I'd like Moru to way in. Probably Aurora's only real friend would be Rosalie, but she won't have told her about her allomancy. What would Rosalie do if/when she found/finds out Aurora is a Rioter. Because if that revelation was seriously jeopardizing their friendship, and Astor was the cause, then we already have a personal stake before adding anything else in. Elaborating on the vengence/subterfuge idea in the personality, and I guess even in the history, is a good idea. I'll just work that in.

In regards to your first paragraph, how would I go about doing that? Should I move more of the app into the more RP style showing as opposed to the historical telling style, focusing on her thoughts/feelings on relevant events?

I guess the one last thing is 'What is the turning point event?' We've decided to go with the 'Astor childishly(?) abuses power to make Aurora's life a misery, makes her accidentally out herself at a critical moment', but I've not really got any good ideas for how that should actually play out. Any thoughts on the actual details would be much appreciated.

And I guess on that note, I probably want to play up her pride, stubbornness, and make her more self absorbed.

Edited by Haelbarde, 08 May 2015 - 08:44 AM.

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image


#13 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

354
House Raisaal

Posted 08 May 2015 - 09:17 PM

To clarify, I didn't necessarily mean you had to show what was going on her head in your writing. You just need to get into her head so that her actions, as shown in the history, make sense in the context of her character. One way of doing this could be to write portions of her history in more of an RP style (I've done this before and have found it quite helpful with troublesome scenes), but you certainly don't have to. As long as you know what is going on in Aurora's head, and her motives in doing things, and those motives make sense with her character, a single sentence or two would be enough to say why she is doing something, without going into detail.

Since you are playing up the dysfunction in the relationship between the siblings, it's tough for me to give specifics without seeing the impact of these changes, along with the subtle changes to her personality. If you are referring mainly to her outing, perhaps, in an effort to humiliate her, Astor pretends to give her a job vital to the welfare of the house, and sets her up by getting her to riot someone he knows is a seeker. Perhaps Astor could find out the impact Aurora's outing would have on her social life, and Blackmail's her with it, only to disclose (intentionally or unintentionally) anyways. Maybe he lets it slide accidentily, but because of their history Aurora assumes it is on purpose.

Regardless, if this is the avenue you are taking, it is important to remember what effect this will have on Astor. Outing a family allomancer, especially a soother or rioter, can be serious business, and appropriate consequences should be present.

I hope some of those suggestions helped. Honestly, it's been a while since I've read her application in its entirety, so I might wait to critique further until I see your next draft, and the effect all the changes have made.

Posted Image


#14 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 12 May 2015 - 04:47 AM

So I've not reworked anything thing in the bulk of the app, I've removed the previous last paragraph, rewriting it and detailing Aurora getting outed.

Also, I added an RP sample, which follows straight from where I've left the history. Ultimately I'll throw in a couple of sentences about what happens in the RP sample, and then talk a bit more about the fallout, bring the app to current day.

Oh, and references to Claire are Claire Valcier. She's going to have been Aurora's friend, but refuse to have anything to do with her after Aurora is outed.




AURORA URVON
Noble Misting



Posted Image

Name/Handle: Haelbarde
Contact: PM first, IM after I’ve talked to you


Posted Image

Name: Aurora Urvon
Type: Noble
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Place of Origin: Felisse
Occupation: Socialite
Relationship Status: Single


Posted Image

Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Zinc
Degree of Skill: Advanced
Status: Hidden


Posted Image


Aurora is reasonably tall like her father but thinner like her mother, though not for the lack of eating. She has the black hair and brown eyes of her father. She often wears the house colors of maroon and silver not just out of a sense of duty, but because maroon is also her favorite color. When she can, she’ll wear metal jewelry, though only if it can be easily and quickly detached – a result of having an annoying Coinshot for a brother. Her jewelry will usually be something silver with inset rubies, often a just a necklace, and real metal more often than not.

She always holds herself straight, never slouching unlike her brother, endeavoring to always move as gracefully as possible. Her face often will be seen bearing a pleasant smile, and it’s a rare thing to see anger or annoyance flash across her face in public, even when she is angry or annoyed.

Posted Image


Unlike her brother, she has inherited her father’s social and negotiation skills, and she endeavors to replicate her mother’s firm, quiet presence, though she suspects that it’s something that is easier to pull off the older you are. She has a deep respect for her mother, and constantly seeks her father’s approval of her. Her brother constantly frustrates her, but the frustration is born mostly from him not meeting the high expectations she holds for the position he holds as Heir to a House seeking to ascend. Though she is setting in place plans to displace him should he become Head, she’ll instantly abandon them should he eventually meet her expectations before it’s too late.

She doesn’t have any special opinions about skaa. They, like a lot of minor nobles, are all the same to her. Beneath her. As House Urvon sets its sights on ascension, she only has time for time for those of similar or greater rank, unless they are of some benefit to Urvon, or are an obstacle to remove.

She is aware of the stigma associated with Rioters or Soothers – she sees glimpses of it in the eyes of her father. Thus she has made herself a rule to govern her allomancy. She will only use it to the benefit of House Urvon, but never to the detriment of a friend.

Posted Image

Special Skills: Negotiation

Strengths: She’s great at talking to people, and an excellent negotiator without the use of allomancy, thus even better when she does, though she’s not had the opportunity to take part in any major contract negotiations yet.

Weaknesses: She has had basically no combat training, and while she has seen death occur, she’s never been required to witness an execution, or had to perform one herself, managing thus far to avoid being too aware of the grittier side of the Final Empire. Thus, she would be useless in a real fight.

Though House and family come first, she has promised herself to never use her allomancy to the detriment of a friend. Fortunately these haven’t yet come into conflict, but she does not know what she would do should that time come.


Posted Image


Aurora was born in the year 900 to Bernard and Katarina Urvon. She was their second child, with their first child, Astor, now being a year her senior. As a young child, she got her share of attention from her parents, though she was too young to truly remember it. However, by the age of four, she decided that Astor got more attention than she did, and so a rivalry between the pair quickly arose. Whether or not it was true then, it certainly become so. Their father Bernard was the Heir to House Urvon, and the current Lord was the getting old. Were he to pass on, Bernard would become Head, and thus Astor would be the favorite to become the new Heir. This was accentuated by the fact that while Bernard really connected with Astor, the same connection was never quite there with Aurora, something which would only worsen through time. Wanting the same sort of attention from her father that Astor got, she would try her hardest to do the best at whatever she tried her hand at, to make him proud of her. When they started to be formally educated, though Astor started first, Aurora quickly overtook. When this didn’t help to get Bernard to connect with Aurora, this quickly became a point of contention with her brother. Though she knew was better than a lot of things than him, he was their father’s favorite, and she blamed her brother for that fact, rather than her father. She would pester and tease him constantly, whether about how slow he was at learning, or about always reading something.

The same issue, of course, did not occur with their mother. Knowing Bernard struggled to connect with Aurora, she made sure watch out for Aurora in particular. As they grew older, and Bernard spent time reading and dueling with Astor, Katarina would spend time with Aurora. Aurora looked up to her. She had a firm, quiet, yet powerful presence that she projected into the space around her, wrapped up in the way she dressed, held herself, and spoke. Katarina would personally mentor her in becoming a proper noblewoman: the importance of posture, how to move gracefully, how to choose an ensemble to wear, etc. The one thing that she refused to let Aurora do was duel, being adamant that ‘combat training is not for proper noblewomen’. She would later be given some training in self-defense, and taught the basics of how to hold and use different weapons, but not much more than that. This would be a contention between the siblings. It was the one area in which Astor excelled, and the one she couldn’t touch.

When each of them reach the age of 10, they were Snapped. Astor Snapped a Coinshot, and for the next year he was completely insufferable. Whereas before she could bully him around if she wanted, anything she said just bounced off. He was special. He was an allomancer. He could fly if he wanted to. Worse, he took every opportunity to rub it in. Particularly if he could catch her wearing metal, something she’d tend to do when dressing up as a ‘noblewoman going to a ball’. Though she complained about it, no one paid her complaints much attention. She learned two things quickly though. Don’t wear impractically tall high heels (being tall for her age already, this was not likely to be an issue), and only wear metal jewelry that can be quickly and easily detached. This is something she has stuck with ever since, often wearing a single piece of jewelry – a necklace to match her outfit, made with a clasp easy to pull off in an instant. When her turn came, she Snapped a Rioter. It was what she’d hoped for, if not straight out Mistborn. It was also perfect for rubbing her allomancy in Astor’s face. Now, when she pestered him, she could make him feel what she wanted him to.

Eventually, the allomantically enhanced bickering between the two came to a head. Aurora pushed Astor too hard, causing him to snap, furious at her. He burnt his own metals and threw around, pushing nearby metals, some ricocheting off walls and hitting her. She was fortunate to only receive bruises and a few cuts. Both of them were sternly reprimanded for this. The result was a truce of sorts. Though it wasn’t cut out entirely, they kept the bickering to a minimum. At her mother’s suggestion, she decided that she needed to make rules for how she would use her allomancy. These evolved throughout the years, before settling on just a single statement. She would only use her allomancy for the benefit of House Urvon, but never to the detriment of a friend.

Only weeks after this incident came the death of Alfred Urvon, Head of House Urvon. Their father had been Heir, so he become Lord Urvon, the Head of the House. She had always sort of known that their father was going to become the Head of the House, but the true import of this only struck her once it had become a reality. Her or her brother would one day take over from their father and run House Urvon. This inspired her to throw herself at her studies with fresh enthusiasm. She wanted to have prepared as best she could, should it fall to her to run the House one day. She wanted to prove to herself, and to her family, particularly her father, that she would be able should that day come.

While she excelled in most areas she studied, her fortes were her negotiation skills and her allomancy, though really, they were basically the same thing. Negotiation required one to be able to read the others involved, knowing what to do or say at the right time to make them do precisely what you wanted. The real power of emotional allomancy came from knowing how subtlety influencing the right emotion, thus feeding on her knack for negotiation. The reverse is also true. Her allomancy was all the more effective for knowing how to take advantage of the state her allomancy put her target in. The other part of her allomantic training was to recognize the effects of allomancy being used on her.

Astor did not take the whole affair of being a potential Heir quite so seriously. While he did adequately in his studies, he painfully socially awkward, something made clear once he debuted. He still spent most of his time dueling and reading, particularly after discovering the library at the Canton of Doctrine. Thus their childhood rivalry evolved in an immense frustration on Aurora’s part due to her brother. Though obviously unsuitable to be Heir, and thus the future ruler of House Urvon, Astor was their father’s favorite, Bernard growing even more distant from Aurora after she snapped due to her emotional allomancy, and so it was likely to be Astor who would be eventually formally named Heir. Aurora wouldn’t have minded so much if she thought he was capable, but as far as she could tell, he wasn’t trying to lift his game. So, her pestering focused on trying to get him to better prepare himself to be Heir. It didn’t have its desired outcome, but she didn’t know what else she could do.

In the year just prior to their debut, Bernard started to sometimes take Astor or Aurora (though never at the same time) along to one of his business meetings. Aurora always liked these. It was time she got to spend with her father, but it was also a great opportunity to see different places and people. It was during one of these that she met Rosalie Deveaux for the first time. Bernard had been looking to improve relations with House Deveaux for some time, and often met with people in Keep Deveaux. Aurora had been waiting outside a room where her father was finishing a conversation with some Deveaux businessman, when a girl that looked around her age walked past. It was obvious she wasn’t a servant, so Aurora, with a smile and a curtsey, said “Hello!” The girl smiled, though she looked a bit unsure of herself. “Hi…” came the reply. Aurora introduced herself. “Aurora Urvon.” After a pause, “Rosalie Deveaux” came the reply. “Pleased to meet you, Rosalie Deveaux. I’m here with my father.” She pointed over her shoulder with her thumb at the room behind her. “He’s still in there talking to someone.” Before Rosalie got to reply, the door opened, and Bernard walked out.

“I see you’ve made a friend there, Aurora. Well, say goodbye, because we need to hurry off. We have a few more errands to run before it gets too late.”

Bernard began walking down the hallway, beckoning Aurora to follow. She turned back to Rosalie. “Nice talking to you!” With that, she turned back and ran to catch up with her Dad, looking back, and giving a quick wave, before disappearing round a corner.

She met Rosalie again during a couple of their subsequent visits, and had another couple of short conversations on each visit. It was on one of these that she found out that Rosalie had turned 15, and debuted since they’d last met. Astor was to debut in the next few weeks, being 16, but she was meant to wait until her 16th birthday to debut at court. She was not content to wait, particularly if Rosalie, one of the few people her age she really knew, outside family, had already debuted. So she pushed to debut early, as soon as possible, and after a few months, her parents gave in.

Aurora debuted in a lovely maroon gown that was covered in intricate silver embroidery, with her sole piece of jewelry being a delicate necklace made of real silver, from which hung a silver pendant inset with a beautiful ruby. Her first thought as she entered the ballroom was that there were so many people. She was unsure exactly where to start until she spied Rosalie conversing with a boy a few years older than her. She said she had a brother, didn’t she? Aurora worked her way over to them, trying to avoid the urge to bounce excitedly around. As she approached, Rosalie caught her eye, turning to greet her with a smile. “Lady Aurora, it has been a while since I saw you; you’re looking well! I love your dress.”

Aurora smiled. “Lady Rosalie! It’s great to see you too!” She took a moment to have a good look at what Rosalie was wearing. “And you look great too!”

Rosalie’s maybe brother cleared his throat, getting Rosalie’s attention. “Oh! This is my oaf of a brother, Renaud. I don’t believe you’ve met… Renaud, this is Aurora Urvon.” So he was her brother then, Aurora thought. Renaud bowed slightly.

“It’s a pleasure, Lady Aurora.”

Aurora curtsied in return. “The pleasure’s mine, Lord Renaud.” Then, she addressed both of them. “So, are you both looking forward to this evening?” She looked around. “This is so exciting. So many people! And it still looks like more people are turning up, even!”

"I always get excited before the ball begins." Rosalie lent forward slightly "I don't get as nervous as Renaud though, mostly just excited."

A slight frown appeared on Renaud face as he spoke to his sister. "You do not have to tell every person about that Rosalie."

"Oh, hush. Everyone thinks it's cute." With that, Rosalie dismissed her brother with a small hand motion, while turning to watch the crowd, pulling Aurora aside. "I'm so glad you found us." She continued. "It's nice to see a familiar face. I do hope everyone gets here soon. The dancing is my favorite part."

Aurora noticed that Renaud was still hanging around, though Rosalie had indicated he could go. She made a mental note to ask her about it, if and when Renaud had actually gone.

"Were you waiting for anyone for anyone in particular, or just hoping for things to get started so we can get through dinner to the dances? I must say, I'm very much looking forward to that part of the evening. The most, probably."

The rest of the evening passed as a blur of sound, faces, food and just general excitement on Aurora’s part, and she was sad it had to finish. She would always look forward to the next ball.

As Astor approached his 17th birthday, he was finally formally named Heir by their father. Though Aurora had made her opinions on the matter abundantly clear, it hadn’t made any difference. She just hoped that now that he was now formally, he might finally take the effort to learn how to be competent, somehow.

After being formally announced heir, their father started to give Astor a more active role in running the House. Eventually, he began to let Astor help organize who went on different assignments. Astor started to use this as a way of getting back at Aurora. He would send Aurora on assignments when he knew she had other plans, or he’d give her the more annoying assignments. Whenever Aurora complained to her father about this, he just told her to take it up with her brother, as Astor was the person in charge of that. Astor would always protest innocence. It made it hard to tell if he was doing malevolently, or he was just incompetent. She assumed the later, though as it continued to happen, she couldn’t be sure.

Now, on one of these was an annoying event she had to attend. There were a number of other Houses, of varying importance (though no Great House), and she had a number of deals to make. She had a few other diplomats, and a smoker, with her, and she needed to make a number of smaller deals. While she was talking with the representative of one of the Houses, she received a message from Astor. He required the use of her particular smoker, but had sent a replacement. She let the smoker leave with the messenger, letting the new bodyguard take over. This all took only a few moments, and so she continued on her discussions, using a subtle touch of rioting when she felt it was needed. A couple of minutes later, the rep was interrupted by a messenger of his own. “I am sorry Lady Aurora, but I cannot continue to negotiate with cheats with alomancy.” Aurora was surprised, though she didn’t let it show.

“I’m going to have to respectfully ask you to take that back. There are easier ways of saying ‘no deal, sorry’ that a rude unfounded accusation like that.”

“A Rioter isn’t worthy of respect, especially if that forget to bring a Smoker.” And with that, the rep hurried off. Aurora was confused. She motioned to her bodyguard to follow her off to the side. “You do have your coppercloud up, do you not?” The man looked at her confused. “Mi’lady, I’m a Pewterarm, not a Smoker.” What! She clenched her fists for a moment, before relaxing them again. She didn’t want to let on what she was feeling. If he’s not a Smoker… then anyone could have picked up her Rioting. Someone had, even. Aurora knew this was a bad situation. She called over one of her diplomats, and let them know that she needed to return home to deal with pressing matters.

On the carriage ride home, thoughts tumbled through her head. How had that happened? What did it mean? Would everyone find out about it? Probably. There were likely a number of Seekers in attendance. Who would they tell? Would they keep it to themselves? Would it become the latest gossip? What about her friends? Rosalie? Claire? No one’s every going to sit down to negotiations with me… she realized. Worst of all, it was Astor’s fault. Either this had been a setup, or he was so utterly incompetent that this was just a mistake. A phenomenal one. While he’d be reprimanded by their father, she was sure it’d not change Astor’s position as Heir. What if he did something like this as Lord Urvon? She shuddered at the thought… Maybe she’d need to work harder to prevent becoming Lord Urvon. Tears begun to well up. No, I can’t cry not yet. This wasn’t the time yet. She focused on Astor instead, on her anger and frustration at everything he’d done.


Posted Image

(A scene from this character's viewpoint. Take care in picking a scene. It could be a scene from the past or it could happen practically during current events. In any case, write something important to the character so everyone can truly feel the character)
The carriage came to a halt. She climbed out and stormed into the Urvon residence. A doorman proffered a hand to take her coat. She didn’t have time for that. “Tell my where my fool of a brother is, right now.” The doorman’s face went pale when he saw the look on her face. With a stutter, he replied, pointing her towards one of the corridors leading away from the entrance hall. Down the other side of the corridor, she caught sight of Astor. She exploded, no longer caring if there was anyone else around. Not that it mattered anymore anyway.

“WHAT IN THE DEEPNESS WERE YOU THINKING.” Her shout startled Astor, and he quickly turned round. She stormed down the corridor towards him. “YOU SERIOUSLY THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA REQUISITION MY SMOKER, REPLACING HIM WITH A TINEYE, IN THE MIDDLE OF A NEGOTIATION?” Astor’s face still wore a confused look. She flared her Zinc, making him feel the frustration and anger she was full of right now. She clenched her fists, took a deep breath, and slowly let it out. Calm down… she told herself. Astor opened his mouth to say something, but she started speaking again before he could get anything out. “I do not know if it’s just another example of your sheer incompetence, or if you thought it was just a fun joke, but you have serious problems if you could ever think that Outing someone could be somehow be seen as a ‘good’ idea.” Again she paused, closing her eyes. Her arms were still shaking with anger.

“Aurora, I…” She cut him off.

“No. You don’t get to speak. Do you realise what you’ve done? What it’ll mean? Do you think, once the news does the rounds, that anyone is ever going to sit down to a negotiation with me again? What about my friends? How do you think Rosalie, or Claire, is going to react when they find out?” She could feel tears coming, no longer willing to be supressed by her fury. “I hope your…” The door behind her to the right opened.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt…” Aurora stopped listening to the rest, her face going white. Rosalie is here? Did I… I… Aurora hadn’t been focusing her rioting for the last few minutes. All she had cared about is making Astor feel terrible. Rosalie had been just in the next room… She’d have heard everything. More importantly, she’d have felt everything. She quickly checked over her shoulder. Rosalie was standing in the doorway, with a confused but concerned look on her face. It was too much. Why didn’t you tell me Astor… Aurora pushed past Astor, gripping her head. She ran to her room, no longer caring for dignity. She just needed to be alone.





Posted Image
Rolled Attributes
Social Skills: Superior
Combat Ability: Underdeveloped
Resources: Improved
Allomantic Skill: Maximum


Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image


#15 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

354
House Raisaal

Posted 12 May 2015 - 05:18 AM

The RP sample needs to be read over, since there are a few line edits to be made. Otherwise, things have come a long way with Aurora. Are you still going to include the plot with Trenton? If so, I think it would make much more sense in character, with the ground work you've laid here.

Great work here, can't wait to see how you round her out.

Posted Image


#16 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 12 May 2015 - 08:05 AM

The RP sample is a draft, and I've still got to work some things in (like Claire). Thing with Trenton is still going to included, just didn't get time to write it back in (wanted this up before hurrying out). The line 'Maybe she'd need to work harder to prevent him coming Lord Urvon' was put in there to set up exactly that. It might need to be modified though. I'm waiting to hear back from people about an idea I had for Aurora's future, which would affect how it'd play out.

Though actually, I think the original plan needs modification anyway. I don't think that a known Rioter is the best candidate to head a House, and Aurora would know that. She'll know that no matter how much better at running things she is, she can't really be Head. Rather, she'd view Trenton as being much more capable of running things, and so would be prepared to support Trenton in becoming the next Lord Urvon. Obviously, Eclipse will need to approve this, but I suspect that's how things will have to work out.

Plus, this works better with what might be in store for Aurora. Pending approval, of course.

Thanks for all your feedback, it's definitely helped make her way more interesting.

Edited by Haelbarde, 12 May 2015 - 10:39 AM.

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image


#17 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 12 May 2015 - 11:40 AM

And so here's what should hopefully a final draft. I've made some small edits to the personality and appearance sections, and I've finished off the history section of the app.

I've not made any real changes to effect of making her feel more arrogant or stubborn, but I don't feel they're really necessary anymore, and I feel happy with where Aurora is at.

I've not given this a good reread over yet, so there's probably a bit of polish required, but anything you can point out would be useful.




AURORA URVON
Noble Misting



Posted Image

Name/Handle: Haelbarde
Contact: PM first, IM after I’ve talked to you


Posted Image

Name: Aurora Urvon
Type: Noble
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Place of Origin: Felisse
Occupation: Socialite
Relationship Status: Single


Posted Image

Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Zinc
Degree of Skill: Advanced
Status: Hidden


Posted Image


Aurora is reasonably tall, though not the 6’3” of her father, and slim, like her mother, though not for the lack of eating. She has the black hair and brown eyes of her father. She often wears the house colors of maroon and silver not just out of a sense of duty, but because maroon is also her favorite color. When she can, she’ll wear metal jewelry, though only if it can be easily and quickly detached – a result of having an annoying Coinshot for a brother. Her jewelry will usually be something silver with inset rubies, often a just a necklace, and real metal more often than not.

She always holds herself straight, never slouching unlike her brother, endeavoring to always move as gracefully as possible. Her face often will be seen bearing a pleasant smile, and it’s a rare thing to see anger or annoyance flash across her face in public, even when she is angry or annoyed.

Posted Image


Unlike her brother, she has inherited her father’s social and negotiation skills, and she endeavors to replicate her mother’s firm, quiet presence, though she suspects that it’s something that is easier to pull off the older you are. She has a deep respect for her mother, and constantly seeks her father’s approval of her. Her brother constantly frustrates her, but the frustration is born mostly from him not meeting the high expectations she holds for the position he holds as Heir to a House seeking to ascend.

She doesn’t have any special opinions about skaa. They, like a lot of minor nobles, are all the same to her. Beneath her. As House Urvon sets its sights on ascension, she only has time for time for those of similar or greater rank, unless they are of some benefit to Urvon, or are an obstacle to remove.

She is aware of the stigma associated with Rioters or Soothers – she sees glimpses of it in the eyes of her father. Thus she has made herself a rule to govern her allomancy. She will only use it to the benefit of House Urvon, but never to the detriment of a friend.

Posted Image

Special Skills: Negotiation

Strengths: She’s great at talking to people, and an excellent negotiator without the use of allomancy, thus even better when she does, though she’s not had the opportunity to take part in any major contract negotiations yet.

Weaknesses: She has had basically no combat training, and while she has seen death occur, she’s never been required to witness an execution, or had to perform one herself, managing thus far to avoid being too aware of the grittier side of the Final Empire. Thus, she would be useless in a real fight.

Though House and family come first, she has promised herself to never use her allomancy to the detriment of a friend. Fortunately these haven’t yet come into conflict, but she does not know what she would do should that time come.


Posted Image


Aurora was born in the year 900 to Bernard and Katarina Urvon. She was their second child, with their first child, Astor, now being a year her senior. As a young child, she got her share of attention from her parents, though she was too young to truly remember it. However, by the age of four, she decided that Astor got more attention than she did, and so a rivalry between the pair quickly arose. Whether or not it was true then, it certainly become so. Their father Bernard was the Heir to House Urvon, and the current Lord was the getting old. Were he to pass on, Bernard would become Head, and thus Astor would be the favorite to become the new Heir. This was accentuated by the fact that while Bernard really connected with Astor, the same connection was never quite there with Aurora, something which would only worsen through time. Wanting the same sort of attention from her father that Astor got, she would try her hardest to do the best at whatever she tried her hand at, to make him proud of her. When they started to be formally educated, though Astor started first, Aurora quickly overtook. When this didn’t help to get Bernard to connect with Aurora, this quickly became a point of contention with her brother. Though she knew was better than a lot of things than him, he was their father’s favorite, and she blamed her brother for that fact, rather than her father. She would pester and tease him constantly, whether about how slow he was at learning, or about always reading something.

The same issue, of course, did not occur with their mother. Knowing Bernard struggled to connect with Aurora, she made sure watch out for Aurora in particular. As they grew older, and Bernard spent time reading and dueling with Astor, Katarina would spend time with Aurora. Aurora looked up to her. She had a firm, quiet, yet powerful presence that she projected into the space around her, wrapped up in the way she dressed, held herself, and spoke. Katarina would personally mentor her in becoming a proper noblewoman: the importance of posture, how to move gracefully, how to choose an ensemble to wear, etc. The one thing that she refused to let Aurora do was duel, being adamant that ‘combat training is not for proper noblewomen’. She would later be given some training in self-defense, and taught the basics of how to hold and use different weapons, but not much more than that. This would be a contention between the siblings. It was the one area in which Astor excelled, and the one she couldn’t touch.

When each of them reach the age of 10, they were Snapped. Astor Snapped a Coinshot, and for the next year he was completely insufferable. Whereas before she could bully him around if she wanted, anything she said just bounced off. He was special. He was an allomancer. He could fly if he wanted to. Worse, he took every opportunity to rub it in. Particularly if he could catch her wearing metal, something she’d tend to do when dressing up as a ‘noblewoman going to a ball’. Though she complained about it, no one paid her complaints much attention. She learned two things quickly though. Don’t wear impractically tall high heels (being tall for her age already, this was not likely to be an issue), and only wear metal jewelry that can be quickly and easily detached. This is something she has stuck with ever since, often wearing a single piece of jewelry – a necklace to match her outfit, made with a clasp easy to pull off in an instant. When her turn came, she Snapped a Rioter. It was what she’d hoped for, if not straight out Mistborn. It was also perfect for rubbing her allomancy in Astor’s face. Now, when she pestered him, she could make him feel what she wanted him to.

Eventually, the allomantically enhanced bickering between the two came to a head. Aurora pushed Astor too hard, causing him to snap, furious at her. He burnt his own metals and threw around, pushing nearby metals, some ricocheting off walls and hitting her. She was fortunate to only receive bruises and a few cuts. Both of them were sternly reprimanded for this. The result was a truce of sorts. Though it wasn’t cut out entirely, they kept the bickering to a minimum. At her mother’s suggestion, she decided that she needed to make rules for how she would use her allomancy. These evolved throughout the years, before settling on just a single statement. She would only use her allomancy for the benefit of House Urvon, but never to the detriment of a friend.

Only weeks after this incident came the death of Alfred Urvon, Head of House Urvon. Their father had been Heir, so he become Lord Urvon, the Head of the House. She had always sort of known that their father was going to become the Head of the House, but the true import of this only struck her once it had become a reality. Her or her brother would one day take over from their father and run House Urvon. This inspired her to throw herself at her studies with fresh enthusiasm. She wanted to have prepared as best she could, should it fall to her to run the House one day. She wanted to prove to herself, and to her family, particularly her father, that she would be able should that day come.

While she excelled in most areas she studied, her fortes were her negotiation skills and her allomancy, though really, they were basically the same thing. Negotiation required one to be able to read the others involved, knowing what to do or say at the right time to make them do precisely what you wanted. The real power of emotional allomancy came from knowing how subtlety influencing the right emotion, thus feeding on her knack for negotiation. The reverse is also true. Her allomancy was all the more effective for knowing how to take advantage of the state her allomancy put her target in. The other part of her allomantic training was to recognize the effects of allomancy being used on her. She would come to love the opportunity to negotiate. She’d often argue with her tutors, before negotiating deals that let her get her way. Of course, in reality the tutors got the better bargain, often getting her to do more work willingly as a result of her ‘negotiations’, claiming it was a bargain that she was getting. But she didn’t know better at the time.

Astor did not take the whole affair of being a potential Heir quite so seriously. While he did adequately in his studies, he painfully socially awkward, something made clear once he debuted. He still spent most of his time dueling and reading, particularly after discovering the library at the Canton of Doctrine. Thus their childhood rivalry evolved in an immense frustration on Aurora’s part due to her brother. Though obviously unsuitable to be Heir, and thus the future ruler of House Urvon, Astor was their father’s favorite, Bernard growing even more distant from Aurora after she snapped due to her emotional allomancy, and so it was likely to be Astor who would be eventually formally named Heir. Aurora wouldn’t have minded so much if she thought he was capable, but as far as she could tell, he wasn’t trying to lift his game. So, her pestering focused on trying to get him to better prepare himself to be Heir. It didn’t have its desired outcome, but she didn’t know what else she could do.

In the year just prior to their debut, Bernard started to sometimes take Astor or Aurora (though never at the same time) along to one of his business meetings. Aurora always liked these. It was time she got to spend with her father, but it was also a great opportunity to see different places and people. It was during one of these that she met Rosalie Deveaux for the first time. Bernard had been looking to improve relations with House Deveaux for some time, and often met with people in Keep Deveaux. Aurora had been waiting outside a room where her father was finishing a conversation with some Deveaux businessman, when a girl that looked around her age walked past. It was obvious she wasn’t a servant, so Aurora, with a smile and a curtsey, said “Hello!” The girl smiled, though she looked a bit unsure of herself. “Hi…” came the reply. Aurora introduced herself. “Aurora Urvon.” After a pause, “Rosalie Deveaux” came the reply. “Pleased to meet you, Rosalie Deveaux. I’m here with my father.” She pointed over her shoulder with her thumb at the room behind her. “He’s still in there talking to someone.” Before Rosalie got to reply, the door opened, and Bernard walked out.

“I see you’ve made a friend there, Aurora. Well, say goodbye, because we need to hurry off. We have a few more errands to run before it gets too late.”

Bernard began walking down the hallway, beckoning Aurora to follow. She turned back to Rosalie. “Nice talking to you!” With that, she turned back and ran to catch up with her Dad, looking back, and giving a quick wave, before disappearing round a corner.

She met Rosalie again during a couple of their subsequent visits, and had another couple of short conversations on each visit. It was on one of these that she found out that Rosalie had turned 15, and debuted since they’d last met. Astor was to debut in the next few weeks, being 16, but she was meant to wait until her 16th birthday to debut at court. She was not content to wait, particularly if Rosalie, one of the few people her age she really knew, outside family, had already debuted. So she pushed to debut early, as soon as possible, and after a few months, her parents gave in.

Aurora debuted in a lovely maroon gown that was covered in intricate silver embroidery, with her sole piece of jewelry being a delicate necklace made of real silver, from which hung a silver pendant inset with a beautiful ruby. Her first thought as she entered the ballroom was that there were so many people. She was unsure exactly where to start until she spied Rosalie conversing with a boy a few years older than her. She said she had a brother, didn’t she? Aurora worked her way over to them, trying to avoid the urge to bounce excitedly around. As she approached, Rosalie caught her eye, turning to greet her with a smile. “Lady Aurora, it has been a while since I saw you; you’re looking well! I love your dress.”

Aurora smiled. “Lady Rosalie! It’s great to see you too!” She took a moment to have a good look at what Rosalie was wearing. “And you look great too!”

Rosalie’s maybe brother cleared his throat, getting Rosalie’s attention. “Oh! This is my oaf of a brother, Renaud. I don’t believe you’ve met… Renaud, this is Aurora Urvon.” So he was her brother then, Aurora thought. Renaud bowed slightly.

“It’s a pleasure, Lady Aurora.”

Aurora curtsied in return. “The pleasure’s mine, Lord Renaud.” Then, she addressed both of them. “So, are you both looking forward to this evening?” She looked around. “This is so exciting. So many people! And it still looks like more people are turning up, even!”

"I always get excited before the ball begins." Rosalie lent forward slightly "I don't get as nervous as Renaud though, mostly just excited."

A slight frown appeared on Renaud face as he spoke to his sister. "You do not have to tell every person about that Rosalie."

"Oh, hush. Everyone thinks it's cute." With that, Rosalie dismissed her brother with a small hand motion, while turning to watch the crowd, pulling Aurora aside. "I'm so glad you found us." She continued. "It's nice to see a familiar face. I do hope everyone gets here soon. The dancing is my favorite part."

Aurora noticed that Renaud was still hanging around, though Rosalie had indicated he could go. She made a mental note to ask her about it, if and when Renaud had actually gone.

"Were you waiting for anyone for anyone in particular, or just hoping for things to get started so we can get through dinner to the dances? I must say, I'm very much looking forward to that part of the evening. The most, probably."

The rest of the evening passed as a blur of sound, faces, food and just general excitement on Aurora’s part, and she was sad it had to finish. She would always look forward to the next ball. She made a number of friends, including Claire Valcier, who was only a bit older than her. It was Rosalie who became her best friend though. More than with any of the others, they’d meet up to chat or to go shopping, and would always catch up at balls.

As Astor approached his 17th birthday, he was finally formally named Heir by their father. Though Aurora had made her opinions on the matter abundantly clear, it hadn’t made any difference. She just hoped that now that he was now formally, he might finally take the effort to learn how to be competent, somehow.

After being formally announced heir, their father started to give Astor a more active role in running the House. Eventually, he began to let Astor help organize who went on different assignments. Astor started to use this as a way of getting back at Aurora. He would send Aurora on assignments when he knew she had other plans, or he’d give her the more annoying assignments. Whenever Aurora complained to her father about this, he just told her to take it up with her brother, as Astor was the person in charge of that. Astor would always protest innocence. It made it hard to tell if he was doing malevolently, or he was just incompetent. She assumed the later, though as it continued to happen, she couldn’t be sure.

Now, on one of these was an annoying event she had to attend. There were a number of other Houses, of varying importance (though no Great House), and she had a number of deals to make. She had a few other diplomats, and a smoker, with her, and she needed to make a number of smaller deals. While she was talking with the representative of one of the Houses, she received a message from Astor. He required the use of her particular smoker, but had sent a replacement. She let the smoker leave with the messenger, letting the new bodyguard take over. This all took only a few moments, and so she continued on her discussions, using a subtle touch of rioting when she felt it was needed. A couple of minutes later, the rep was interrupted by a messenger of his own. “I am sorry Lady Aurora, but I cannot continue to negotiate with cheats with alomancy.” Aurora was surprised, though she didn’t let it show.

“I’m going to have to respectfully ask you to take that back. There are easier ways of saying ‘no deal, sorry’ that a rude unfounded accusation like that.”

“A Rioter isn’t worthy of respect, especially if that forget to bring a Smoker.” And with that, the rep hurried off. Aurora was confused. She motioned to her bodyguard to follow her off to the side. “You do have your copper cloud up, do you not?” The man looked at her confused. “Mi’lady, I’m a Pewterarm, not a Smoker.” What! She clenched her fists for a moment, before relaxing them again. She didn’t want to let on what she was feeling. If he’s not a Smoker… then anyone could have picked up her Rioting. Someone had, even. Aurora knew this was a bad situation. She called over one of her diplomats, and let them know that she needed to return home to deal with pressing matters.

On the carriage ride home, thoughts tumbled through her head. How had that happened? What did it mean? Would everyone find out about it? Probably. There were likely a number of Seekers in attendance. Who would they tell? Would they keep it to themselves? Would it become the latest gossip? What about her friends? Rosalie? Claire? No one’s every going to sit down to negotiations with me… she realized. Worst of all, it was Astor’s fault. Either this had been a setup, or he was so utterly incompetent that this was just a mistake. A phenomenal one. While he’d be reprimanded by their father, she was sure it’d not change Astor’s position as Heir. What if he did something like this as Lord Urvon? She shuddered at the thought… Maybe she’d need to work harder to prevent becoming Lord Urvon. Tears begun to well up. No, I can’t cry not yet. This wasn’t the time for that. She focused on Astor instead, on her anger and frustration at everything he’d done.

Arriving home, she quickly found her brother, yelling and shouting at him, bringing the full force of her alomancy to bear against him. This was cut short when Rosalie appeared from a waiting room – she had stopped by to catch up with Aurora, and had elected to wait for a bit. Knowing Rosalie had heard everything, and likely felt Aurora’s alomancy, Aurora ran to her room to get away from everyone. A short time after, Rosalie came to find her, hoping to help cheer her up. To hear that Rosalie wasn’t going to stop being her friend was immensely comforting to Aurora. Rosalie kept her company for a while before having to head off to meet other commitments.

Aurora holed up for the next few weeks, refusing to leave the house. She had received a letter from Claire a few days after being Outed. Claire accused her of being manipulative, using her alomancy to befriend her, telling her she wanted to not ever have anything to do with Aurora again. Aurora sent a reply, explaining she never used her alomancy on Claire, that the friendship had been real. She didn’t receive a response. That didn’t make Aurora feel more up to facing the world again.

During her month of self-imposed exile in the Urvon residence, she had the opportunity to interact with Trenton, one of her cousins. She had talked to occasionally before, but hadn’t really thought much of him. He had come across as malcontent, wanting his parents, who ran one of the other branches of House Urvon, out of the way. She hadn’t paid it much heed then, but now things were different. She questioned him about it, finding he’d been slowly consolidating his personal power, biding his time, waiting to see if Urvon pushed for ascension. He planned to let enemy assassins take out his parents so he could step in and take over their role. She agreed to help him out, now having a problem of her own. While she didn’t want something as drastic as her brother’s death, she knew he couldn’t inherit the House, that he’d spell disaster for the House. So, Aurora begun to plan how to depose Astor, should it come to that. She decided to let Trenton believe that she wanted to replace Astor, but in reality, she knew that a known Rioter being head could cause the House’s downfall almost as surely as Astor would. She’d set Trenton up as Head instead - he was seemingly competent enough.

She eventually begun venturing out of the House, but she wasn’t yet up to facing a ball. When the Perrault’s ball came around, she managed to work up her confidence to attend. It was not quite the same level has a Great House ball – Perrault was in a similar position to Urvon, looking to ascend. Getting a maroon ball gown made up, the night of the ball came. It was time to stop hiding.

Posted Image


The carriage came to a halt. She climbed out and stormed into the Urvon residence. A doorman proffered a hand to take her coat. She didn’t have time for that. “Tell my where my fool of a brother is, right now.” The doorman’s face went pale when he saw the look on her face. With a stutter, he replied, pointing her towards one of the corridors leading away from the entrance hall. Down the other side of the corridor, she caught sight of Astor. She exploded, no longer caring if there was anyone else around. Not that it mattered anymore anyway.

“WHAT IN THE DEEPNESS WERE YOU THINKING.” Her shout startled Astor, and he quickly turned round. She stormed down the corridor towards him. “YOU SERIOUSLY THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO REQUISITION MY SMOKER, REPLACING HIM WITH A PETWERARM, IN THE MIDDLE OF A NEGOTIATION?” Astor’s face still wore a confused look. She flared her Zinc, making him feel the frustration and anger she was full of right now. She clenched her fists, took a deep breath, and slowly let it out. Calm down… she told herself. Astor opened his mouth to say something, but she started speaking again before he could get anything out. “I do not know if it’s just another example of your sheer incompetence, or if you thought it was just a fun joke, but you have serious problems if you could ever think that Outing someone could be somehow be seen as a ‘good’ idea.” Again she paused, closing her eyes. Her arms were still shaking with anger.

“Aurora, I…” She cut him off.

“No. You don’t get to speak. Do you realise what you’ve done? What it’ll mean? Do you think, once the news does the rounds, that anyone is ever going to sit down to a negotiation with me again? What about my friends? How do you think Rosalie, or Claire, is going to react when they find out?” She could feel tears coming, no longer willing to be supressed by her fury. “I hope you’re…”

At that moment, Aurora heard a door behind her creak open.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt…” Aurora stopped listening to the rest, her face going white. Rosalie is here? Did I… I… Aurora hadn’t focused her Rioting on anyone, just affect the general area for the last few minutes. All she had cared about was making Astor feel terrible. But if Rosalie had just been in the next room… She’d have heard everything. More importantly, she’d have felt everything. She quickly checked over her shoulder. Rosalie was standing in the doorway, with a confused but concerned look on her face. It was too much. Why didn’t you tell me Astor… Aurora pushed past Astor, gripping her head. She ran to her room, no longer caring for dignity. She just needed to be alone.





Posted Image
Rolled Attributes
Social Skills: Superior
Combat Ability: Underdeveloped
Resources: Improved
Allomantic Skill: Maximum


Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image


#18 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

354
House Raisaal

Posted 13 May 2015 - 12:14 AM

Much better! I like how she's come together. I also like how you've made it clear that much of her stress over her outing is self-induced, and that at least some of her friends might not react as negatively as she thinks.

Her allignment with Trenton makes much more sense I think. I'd still advise a read through to clean up the prose, but things are looking good! Great work with the edits!

Posted Image


#19 Haelbarde

30
Acolyte

Posted 13 May 2015 - 06:00 AM

I've gone through and tidied up bits and pieces of the text. So unless it has any glaringly obvious edits required, I think I'd be happy to call this the final draft.

I need to wait for Eclipse to appear again, I think. I cleared most of the ideas used with Eclipse, apart from a few of the details I added in at the end, but he's not seen them implemented at all, I don't think. He shouldn't have an issue with it, but I'd want his stamp of approval on this draft before submitting it.




AURORA URVON
Noble Misting



Posted Image

Name/Handle: Haelbarde
Contact: PM first, IM after I’ve talked to you

Posted Image

Name: Aurora Urvon
Type: Noble
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Place of Origin: Felisse
Occupation: Socialite
Relationship Status: Single (for now)

Posted Image

Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Zinc
Degree of Skill: Advanced
Status: Known

Posted Image


Aurora is reasonably tall, though not the 6’3” of her father, and slim like her mother, though not for the lack of eating. She has the black hair and brown eyes of her father. She often wears the house colors of maroon and silver not just out of a sense of duty, but because maroon is also her favorite color. When she can, she’ll wear metal jewelry, though only if it can be easily and quickly detached – a result of having an annoying Coinshot for a brother. Her jewelry will usually be something silver with inset rubies, often a just a necklace, and real metal more often than not.

She always holds herself straight, never slouching unlike her brother, endeavoring to always move as gracefully as possible. Her face often will be seen bearing a pleasant smile, and it’s a rare thing to see anger or annoyance flash across her face in public, even when she is angry or annoyed.

Posted Image


Unlike her brother, she has inherited her father’s social and negotiation skills, and she endeavors to replicate her mother’s firm, quiet presence, though she suspects that it’s something that is easier to pull off the older you are. She has a deep respect for her mother, and constantly seeks her father’s approval of her. Her brother constantly frustrates her, but the frustration is born mostly from him not meeting the high expectations she holds for the position he holds as Heir to a House seeking to ascend.

She doesn’t have any special opinions about skaa. They, like a lot of minor nobles, are all the same to her. Beneath her. As House Urvon sets its sights on ascension, she only has time for time for those of similar or greater rank, unless they are of some benefit to Urvon, or are an obstacle to remove.

She is aware of the stigma associated with Rioters or Soothers – she sees glimpses of it in the eyes of her father. Thus she has made herself a rule to govern her allomancy. She will only use it to the benefit of House Urvon, but never to the detriment of a friend.

Posted Image

Special Skills: Negotiation

Strengths: She’s great at talking to people, and an excellent negotiator without the use of allomancy, thus even better when she does, though she’s not had the opportunity to take part in any major contract negotiations yet.

Weaknesses: She has had basically no combat training, and while she has seen death occur, she’s never been required to witness an execution, or had to perform one herself, managing thus far to avoid being too aware of the grittier side of the Final Empire. Thus, she would be useless in a real fight.

Though House and family come first, she has promised herself to never use her allomancy to the detriment of a friend. Fortunately these haven’t yet come into conflict, but she does not know what she would do should that time come.


Posted Image


Aurora was born in the year 900 to Bernard and Katarina Urvon. She was their second child, their first being Astor who was now a year old. As a young child, she got her share of attention from her parents, though she was too young to truly remember it. However, by the age of four, she decided that Astor got more attention than she did, and so a rivalry between the pair quickly arose. Whether or not it was true then, it certainly become so. Their father Bernard was the Heir to House Urvon, and the current Lord was the getting old. Were he to pass on, Bernard would become Head, and thus Astor would be the favorite to become the new Heir. This was accentuated by the fact that while Bernard really connected with Astor, the same connection was never quite there with Aurora, something which would only worsen through time. Wanting the same sort of attention from her father that Astor got, she would try her hardest to do the best at whatever she tried her hand at, to make him proud of her. When they started getting formally educated, though Astor started first, Aurora quickly overtook. When this didn’t help to get Bernard to connect with Aurora, this quickly became a point of contention with her brother. Though she knew was better than a lot of things than him, he was their father’s favorite, and she blamed her brother for that fact, rather than her father. She would pester and tease him constantly, whether about how slow he was at learning, or about always reading something.

The same issue did not occur with their mother. Knowing Bernard struggled to connect with Aurora, she made sure watch out for Aurora in particular. As they grew older, and Bernard spent time reading and dueling with Astor, Katarina would spend time with Aurora. Aurora looked up to her. She had a firm, quiet, yet powerful presence that she projected into the space around her, wrapped up in the way she dressed, held herself, and spoke. Katarina would personally mentor her in becoming a proper noblewoman: the importance of posture, how to move gracefully, how to choose an ensemble to wear, etc. The one thing that she refused to let Aurora do was duel, being adamant that ‘combat training is not for proper noblewomen’. She would later be given some training in self-defense, and taught the basics of how to hold and use different weapons, but not much more than that. This would be a contention between the siblings. It was the one area in which Astor excelled, and the one she couldn’t touch.

When each of them reach the age of 10, they were Snapped. Astor Snapped a Coinshot, and for the next year he was completely insufferable. Whereas before she could bully him around if she wanted, anything she said just bounced off. He was special. He was an allomancer. He could fly if he wanted to. Worse, he took every opportunity to rub it in. Particularly if he could catch her wearing metal, something she’d tend to do when dressing up as a ‘noblewoman going to a ball’. Though she complained about it, no one paid her complaints much attention. She learned two things quickly though. Don’t wear impractically tall high heels (being tall for her age already, this was not likely to be an issue), and only wear metal jewelry that can be quickly and easily detached. This is something she has stuck with ever since, often wearing a single piece of jewelry – a necklace to match her outfit, made with a clasp easy to pull off in an instant. When her turn came, she Snapped a Rioter. It was what she’d hoped for, if not straight out Mistborn. It was also perfect for rubbing her allomancy in Astor’s face. Now, when she pestered him, she could make him feel what she wanted him to.

Eventually, the allomantically enhanced bickering between the two came to a head. Aurora pushed Astor too hard, causing him to snap, furious at her. He burnt his own metals and threw around, pushing nearby metals, some ricocheting off walls and hitting her. She was fortunate to only receive bruises and a few cuts. Both of them were sternly reprimanded for this. The result was a truce of sorts. Though it wasn’t cut out entirely, they kept the bickering to a minimum. At her mother’s suggestion, she decided that she needed to make rules for how she would use her allomancy. These evolved throughout the years, before settling on just a single statement. She would only use her allomancy for the benefit of House Urvon, but never to the detriment of a friend.

Only weeks after this incident came the death of Alfred Urvon, Head of House Urvon. Their father had been Heir, so he become Lord Urvon, the Head of the House. She had always sort of known that their father was going to become the Head of the House, but the true import of this only struck her once it had become a reality. Her or her brother would one day take over from their father and run House Urvon. This inspired her to throw herself at her studies with fresh enthusiasm. She wanted to have prepared as best she could, should it fall to her to run the House one day. She wanted to prove to herself, and to her family, particularly her father, that she would be able should that day come.

While she excelled in most areas she studied, her fortes were her negotiation skills and her allomancy, though really, they were basically the same thing. Negotiation required one to be able to read the others involved, knowing what to do or say at the right time to make them do precisely what you wanted. The real power of emotional allomancy came from knowing how subtlety influencing the right emotion, thus feeding on her knack for negotiation. The reverse is also true. Her allomancy was all the more effective for knowing how to take advantage of the state her allomancy put her target in. The other part of her allomantic training was to recognize the effects of allomancy being used on her. She would come to love the opportunity to negotiate. She’d often argue with her tutors, before negotiating deals that let her get her way. Of course, in reality the tutors got the better bargain, often getting her to do more work willingly as a result of her ‘negotiations’, claiming it was a bargain that she was getting. But she didn’t know better at the time.

Astor did not take the whole affair of being a potential Heir quite so seriously. While he did adequately in his studies, he painfully socially awkward, something made clear once he debuted. He still spent most of his time dueling and reading, particularly after discovering the library at the Canton of Doctrine. Thus their childhood rivalry evolved in an immense frustration on Aurora’s part due to her brother. Though obviously unsuitable to be Heir, and thus the future ruler of House Urvon, Astor was their father’s favorite, Bernard growing even more distant from Aurora after she snapped due to her emotional allomancy, and so it was likely to be Astor who would be eventually formally named Heir. Aurora wouldn’t have minded so much if she thought he was capable, but as far as she could tell, he wasn’t trying to lift his game. So, her pestering focused on trying to get him to better prepare himself to be Heir. It didn’t have its desired outcome, but she didn’t know what else she could do.

In the year just prior to their debut, Bernard started to take Astor or Aurora (though never at the same time) along to some of his business meetings. Aurora always loved these. It was time she got to spend with her father, but it was also a great opportunity to see different places and people. In later years, she’d look back at these as being what ignited her interest in negotiations.

It was during one of these that she met Rosalie Deveaux for the first time. Bernard had been looking to improve relations with House Deveaux for some time, and often met with people in Keep Deveaux. Aurora had been waiting outside a room where her father was finishing a conversation with some Deveaux businessman, when a girl that looked around her age walked past. It was obvious she wasn’t a servant, so Aurora, with a smile and a curtsey, said “Hello!” The girl smiled, though she looked a bit unsure of herself. “Hi…” came the reply. Aurora introduced herself. “Aurora Urvon.” After a pause, “Rosalie Deveaux” came the reply. “Pleased to meet you, Rosalie Deveaux. I’m here with my father.” She pointed over her shoulder with her thumb at the room behind her. “He’s still in there talking to someone.” Before Rosalie got to reply, the door opened, and Bernard walked out.

“I see you’ve made a friend there, Aurora.” He turned to Rosalie. “I’m sorry to say we need to hurry off.”

Bernard began walking down the hallway, beckoning Aurora to follow. “Come along, Aurora. We have a few more errands to run before it gets late.” Aurora turned back to Rosalie. “Nice talking to you!” With that, she turned back and ran to catch up with her Dad, looking back, and giving a quick wave, before disappearing round a corner.

She met Rosalie again during a couple of their subsequent visits, and had another couple of short conversations on each visit. It was on one of these that she found out that Rosalie had turned 15, and debuted since they’d last met. Astor was to debut in the next few weeks, being 16, but she was meant to wait until her 16th birthday to debut at court. This did not suit her at all, particularly if Rosalie, the only person outside of Urvon that she knew, had already debuted. So she pushed to debut early, as soon as possible, and after a few months, her parents gave in.

Aurora debuted in a lovely maroon gown that was covered in intricate silver embroidery, with her sole piece of jewelry being a delicate necklace made of real silver, from which hung a silver pendant inset with a beautiful ruby. Her first thought as she entered the ballroom was that there were so many people. She was unsure exactly where to start until she spied Rosalie conversing with a boy a few years older than her. She said she had a brother, didn’t she? Aurora worked her way over to them, trying to avoid the urge to bounce excitedly around. As she approached, Rosalie caught her eye, turning to greet her with a smile. “Lady Aurora, it has been a while since I saw you; you’re looking well! I love your dress.”

Aurora smiled. “Lady Rosalie! It’s great to see you too!” She took a moment to have a good look at what Rosalie was wearing. “And you look great too!”

Rosalie’s maybe brother cleared his throat, getting Rosalie’s attention. “Oh! This is my oaf of a brother, Renaud. I don’t believe you’ve met… Renaud, this is Aurora Urvon.” So he was her brother then, Aurora thought. Renaud bowed slightly.

“It’s a pleasure, Lady Aurora.”

Aurora curtsied in return. “The pleasure’s mine, Lord Renaud.” Then, she addressed both of them. “So, are you both looking forward to this evening?” She looked around. “This is so exciting. So many people! And it still looks like more people are turning up, even!”

"I always get excited before the ball begins." Rosalie lent forward slightly "I don't get as nervous as Renaud though, mostly just excited."

A slight frown appeared on Renaud face as he spoke to his sister. "You do not have to tell every person about that Rosalie."

"Oh, hush. Everyone thinks it's cute." With that, Rosalie dismissed her brother with a small hand motion, while turning to watch the crowd, pulling Aurora aside. "I'm so glad you found us." She continued. "It's nice to see a familiar face. I do hope everyone gets here soon. The dancing is my favorite part."

Aurora noticed that Renaud was still hanging around, though Rosalie had indicated he could go. She made a mental note to ask her about it, if and when Renaud had actually gone.

"Were you waiting for anyone for anyone in particular, or just hoping for things to get started so we can get through dinner to the dances? I must say, I'm very much looking forward to that part of the evening. The most, probably."

The rest of the evening passed as a blur of sound, faces, food and just general excitement on Aurora’s part, and she was sad it had to finish. She would always look forward to the next ball. Rosalie was her first, and best, friend, but she soon made others as well, including Claire Valcier, who was only a bit older than her.

As Astor approached his 17th birthday, he was formally named Heir by their father. Aurora had made her opinions on the matter abundantly clear, but it hadn’t made any difference. She just hoped that now that he was now formally, he might finally take the effort to learn how to be competent, somehow.

Now formally Heir, their father started to give Astor a more active role in running the House. Eventually, he began to let Astor help organize who went on different assignments. Astor started to use this as a way of getting back at Aurora. He would send Aurora on assignments when he knew she had other plans, or he’d give her the more annoying assignments. Whenever Aurora complained to her father about this, he just told her to take it up with her brother, as Astor was the person in charge of that. Astor would always protest innocence. It made it hard to tell if he was doing malevolently, or he was just incompetent. She assumed the later, though when it continued to happen, she couldn’t be sure.

One such occasion was an event which a number of Houses of varying status (no Great House had a formal presence however). Aurora had organized to meet with Rosalie in the afternoon before Astor ‘organized’ her into heading Urvon’s presence, and to reach out to some of the Houses about some trade deals. Aurora thought that she would probably be able to finish in time to meet up with Rosalie still, but sent a message to Rosalie anyway, saying that she might be a bit late. She took a group of people – other businessmen and the smoker bodyguard she usually made use of. For the most part, it was a bit dull. Some groundwork was laid in setting up some deals, with promises of further talks. Aurora hadn’t needed to be there. While talking to the representative of the last House on her list to meet with, she received a message from Astor. Excusing herself from the conversation for a few moments, she read the message. For whatever reason, he needed her bodyguard back at the Urvon residence as soon as possible for something important. He had sent the message with a replacement. Handing the note to the bodyguard, she dismissed him, the new one taking his place. She tuned back to the representative, apologizing for the interruption, and continued on with the discussion. A couple of minutes later, the rep was interrupted by a messenger of his own. “I am sorry Lady Aurora, but I cannot continue to negotiate with cheats with allomancy.” Aurora was surprised, though she didn’t let it show. She had used a subtle touch of rioting when she felt it was necessary, but she had a smoker, and the rep obviously hadn’t noticed anything. He’d have commented on it earlier if he had.

“I’m going to have to respectfully ask you to take that back.” Aurora gave the man a hurt look. “There are ways of saying ‘no deal, sorry’, without making rude unfounded accusations.”

“A Rioter isn’t worthy of respect, especially if they’re stupid enough to not use a Smoker.” And with that, the rep hurried off. Aurora was confused. She motioned to her bodyguard to follow her off to the side. “You do have your copper cloud up, do you not?” The man looked at her, confused. “Mi’lady, I’m a Pewterarm, not a Smoker.”

What…! She clenched her fists for a moment, before relaxing them again. She didn’t want to let on what she was feeling. If he’s not a Smoker… then anyone could have picked up her Rioting. Someone had, even. Aurora knew this was a bad situation. She called over one of her diplomats, and let them know that she needed to return home to deal with pressing matters.

On the carriage ride home, thoughts tumbled through her head. How had that happened? What did it mean? Would everyone find out about it? Probably. There were likely a number of Seekers in attendance. Who would they tell? Would they keep it to themselves? Would it become the latest gossip? What about her friends? Rosalie? Claire? No one’s every going to sit down to negotiations with me… she realized. Worst of all, it was Astor’s fault. Either this had been a setup, or he was so utterly incompetent that this was just a mistake. A phenomenal one. While he’d be reprimanded by their father, she was sure it would not change Astor’s position as Heir. What if he did something like this as Lord Urvon? She shuddered at the thought… Maybe she’d need to work harder to prevent him becoming Lord Urvon. Tears begun to well up. No. I can’t cry. Not yet. It wasn’t the time for that. Instead, she focused on Astor, on her anger and frustration at everything he’d done, to keep the tears at bay.

Arriving home, she quickly found her brother, yelling and shouting at him, bringing the full force of her allomancy to bear against him. This was cut short when Rosalie appeared from a waiting room – she had come by a bit early and had elected to wait for a bit till Aurora returned. Realizing Rosalie had heard everything, and likely felt Aurora’s alomancy, Aurora ran to her room to get away from everyone. A short time after, Rosalie came to find her, hoping to help cheer her up. The fact that Rosalie wasn’t going to stop being her friend was an immense comforting to Aurora. Instead of going shopping like they had planned, Rosalie kept Aurora company till she had to head off to deal with her other commitments.

Aurora holed up for the next week, refusing to leave the house. She had received a letter from Claire a few days after being Outed, accusing her of being manipulative, using her allomancy to befriend her, telling her she wanted to not ever have anything to do with Aurora again. Aurora sent a reply, explaining she never used her alomancy on Claire, but she didn’t receive any response back. Attempts at trying to meet her were met with excuses like ‘Claire is too busy for visitors right now’, or ‘She’s not in at the moment.’ It had been what she’d feared. At least I’ve not lost Rosalie, she’d tell her self.

As she had thought, the consequences for Astor were minimal. Somehow the incident was Aurora’s fault for not being careful with her allomancy. She couldn’t believe it, but she wasn’t surprised. Astor often managed to get away with pinning stuff on her. So, during her week of self-imposed exile, she started to set in motion plans. She talked with Trenton (one of her cousins) occasionally but didn’t think much of him. He had always come across as a malcontent, wanting his parents, who ran one of the other branches of House Urvon, out of the way. She had never paid it much heed before, but now things were different. She questioned him about it, finding he’d been slowly consolidating his personal power, biding his time, waiting to see if Urvon pushed for ascension. He offered to help her out with her Astor problem. She didn’t want something as extreme as what Trenton had planned for his parents, but she knew that she couldn’t let Astor take over House Urvon, not if he was liable to do something as stupid as what he’d just done.

When the Perrault’s ball came around, she managed to work up her confidence to attend. It’d be a smaller event than some, and after the Casuana ball, which she had heard had been quite the disaster, she hopefully didn’t have to worry about people focusing discussion on her. Maybe Claire will be there, she wondered. Better yet, she had a new dress ready – it was maroon with silver embroidery, reminiscent of the dress she’d debuted in. Maybe things would be okay.

Posted Image


The carriage came to a halt. She climbed out and stormed into the Urvon residence. A doorman proffered a hand to take her coat. She didn’t have time for that. “Tell my where my fool of a brother is, right now.” The doorman’s face went pale when he saw the look on her face. With a stutter, he replied, pointing her towards one of the corridors leading away from the entrance hall. Down the other side of the corridor, she caught sight of Astor. She exploded, no longer caring if there was anyone else around. Not that it mattered anymore anyway.

“WHAT IN THE DEEPNESS WERE YOU THINKING.” Her shout startled Astor, and he quickly turned round. She stormed down the corridor towards him. “YOU SERIOUSLY THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO REQUISITION MY SMOKER, REPLACING HIM WITH A PETWERARM, IN THE MIDDLE OF A NEGOTIATION?” Astor’s face still wore a confused look. She flared her Zinc, making him feel the frustration and anger she was full of right now. She clenched her fists, took a deep breath, and slowly let it out. Calm down… she told herself. Astor opened his mouth to say something, but she started speaking again before he could get anything out. “I do not know if it’s just another example of your sheer incompetence, or if you thought it was just a fun joke, but you have serious problems if you could ever think that Outing someone could be somehow be seen as a ‘good’ idea.” Again she paused, closing her eyes. Her arms were still shaking with anger.

“Aurora, I…” She cut him off.

“No. You don’t get to speak. Do you realise what you’ve done? What it’ll mean? Do you think, once the news does the rounds, that anyone is ever going to sit down to a negotiation with me again? What about my friends? How do you think Rosalie, or Claire, is going to react when they find out?” She could feel tears coming, no longer willing to be supressed by her fury. “I hope you’re…”

At that moment, Aurora heard a door behind her creak open.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt…” Aurora stopped listening to the rest, her face going white. Rosalie is here? Did I… I… Aurora hadn’t focused her Rioting on anyone, just affect the general area for the last few minutes. All she had cared about was making Astor feel terrible. But if Rosalie had just been in the next room… She’d have heard everything. More importantly, she’d have felt everything. She quickly checked over her shoulder. Rosalie was standing in the doorway, with a confused but concerned look on her face. It was too much. Why didn’t you tell me Astor… Aurora pushed past Astor, gripping her head. She ran to her room, no longer caring for dignity. She just needed to be alone.



Posted Image
Rolled Attributes
Social Skills: Superior
Combat Ability: Underdeveloped
Resources: Improved
Allomantic Skill: Maximum


Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image






2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users