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The Lord Ruler's perfect capital city, Luthadel, is doing the impossible: rebelling. Skaa half-breeds are being taught the power of Allomancy, something that the Lord Ruler's obligators said only existed in the nobility. The enslaved skaa, with their murderous benefactor, now fight back against a living god's oppression.

So, the Inquisition was formed. The nobles begin to fear assassination from all sides. The times of nobility Mistborn killing each other are over. The Steel Inquisitors look for aristocrat traitors and insurgent skaa, and the skaa try with all their strength to merely survive. The Lord Ruler's perfect Final Empire is slowly devolving into chaos.

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4 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_DrakeMarshall_*

Posted 20 June 2016 - 08:22 PM

Skaa, Rebel, Unsnapped Rioter

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Name/Handle: DrakeMarshall
Contact: [email protected]<script data-cfhash='f9e31' type="text/javascript">/* */</script>

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Name: Felix
Type: Skaa
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Place of Origin: Felix was born on a plantation a few miles south of Luthadel.
Occupation: Felix is a recently escaped skaa farm laborer and holds no occupation at the moment.
Relationship Status: Single

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Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Zinc
Degree of Skill: No skill
Status: Not yet snapped

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Felix is neither short or tall for skaa standards, though by normal human standards he is not tall. He is on the skinny side. Felix has reddish-blond hair and dark brown eyes. He is generally a friendly individual, though he has also cultivated a certain defiance serving under a noble house.

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Felix tends to be a careful individual. Like many of the things he does, his flight to Luthadel was planned in detail before he took action. Felix doesn't particularly care about the skaa and noble hierarchy, but he does want revenge on the Odell plantation and maybe even house Lekal. For this reason he has entered the city with the intent of locating the rebellion. Before being in Luthadel, Felix might have had qualms about stealing, but it has been several days and necessity has already overcome these sentiments.

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Special Skills: Felix can read and write. He is a pretty good runner. He has an understanding noble society that many skaa lack. He is also quite practiced at removing ashes from a field, although he hopes not to use that proficiency very much in the future.

Strengths: Felix's major strength is his intelligence. He is adaptable and learns quickly. He is also good at guessing and understanding people's motives.

Weaknesses: In the past few days Felix has discovered he isn't very good at stealing. Also, while Felix can handle himself well enough on the streets, he is not particularly skilled at fighting and wouldn't last against a trained opponent. He is also a tad arrogant.

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Let us start roughly two decades before Felix’s story begins. Felix’s mother Lucia was located on the very same plantation that Felix was born on. Felix’s grandfather Brendon, his aunt Ilena, and father Uther, were living in Luthadel as a skaa family. House Veryl, a minor noble house, had entrusted into their care a small tinker shop. Brendon effectively acted as the shop’s manager. House Veryl, apart from collecting profits and legitimizing the business with noble ownership, granted him relative autonomy. In order to maximize profits, the noble house saw fit to teach both Brendon and Ilena the essentials of literacy, Brendon to manage the business and Ilena to handle its accounts. This mutually beneficial arrangement continued for several years, until a rival business petitioned the Canton of Orthodoxy. The fact that the shop was all but owned by skaa resulted in in its dissolution. In a twist of fate, Brendon ended up in the employment of the very rivals that ended his own shop. Ilena and Uther ended up on the plantation Felix was born on.
Felix was born in year 892 to Uther and Lucia, to skaa on a plantation just south of Luthadel owned by house Lekal. When Felix was four, Uther was accused of stealing from the master and killed. He was raised by Lucia. In his childhood, Felix served as a laborer on the farm, and also frequently as a courier for the plantation master. At age seven Felix's Aunt began teaching him to read, as she had been taught to read by a member of House Veryl. Proper writing materials were limited, but ash to draw in and letters to carry about and perhaps practice reading were not. Felix managed to pick up the skill relatively quickly, given the less than ideal circumstances.

Richard Odell, the minor noble who served as the master of the Lekal plantation, did not hold skaa in high regard. If he felt Felix failed to deliver a message with sufficient speed, he would not hesitate to beat him. The taskmasters Richard appointed in the fields were similar in nature.

Richard was of coarse unaware that Felix could read, and Felix saw a glimpse into noble society as he read the letters Richard sent him to deliver. As the plantation slowly failed, Felix saw Richard's letters become increasingly desperate and grovelling to his superiors of House Lekal, and yet at the same time Richard grew all the harsher on his skaa. Felix, seeing his master's vulnerability and also his cruelty, grew defiant.

As Felix continued to work on the plantation, Lucia was transferred away, and his Aunt Ilena died in an outbreak of cholera. With little love for his post on the plantation, and a swiftly diminishing family that constituted a swiftly diminishing reason to stay, Felix started seriously planning a way to leave. However, he was presented with a unique and unexpected opportunity when his master sent him with an urgent letter to deliver to Lekal keep, near the heart of Luthadel.

Felix knew his master would not have trusted him so unless he was truly desperate. He also knew that it would be fairly easy to simply stay in Luthadel. He reasoned that if he failed to return after delivering the letter as ordered, Richard would care less about his defection. So after entering Luthadel through the copper gate and making his way to house Lekal, and entrusting the message to the Terris servant who met him at the gate, he travelled to the cracks, hoping to go unnoticed for a while and find something about the rebels.

Felix has been in the cracks for several weeks now. He planned to seek out the skaa rebellion, who may be sympathetic to his position, and who might ultimately help him strike a blow against house Lekal. He has alternately worked a few small jobs and tried stealing. He has heard a great many rumors about the recent Casuana ball, and that the rebellion was involved. Felix was able to track them down with enough persistence and a few fortunate leads, and (pending further contact with the people in charge of the rebellion) he was able to find a place for himself at Lan's tailor shop in the twists.

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Felix stepped through the crowded streets of Luthadel, skirting around the palace district to get to keep Lekal. Lord Ruler... This street has more people than the entire Odell plantation had. The press of humanity was overwhelming, but none of them payed Felix any mind as he navigated the industrial district with his head down. Ashes dusted everything in sight, falling relentlessly on any exposed surface. Felix stifled a smile as he saw an obligator with his characteristic tattoos around the eyes habitually brushing off his coat. Good luck.

Felix considered what he was about to do. All I have to do is simply not come back. It sounded simple enough but he doubted Odell would passively allow it. Felix had seen many times over that as Odell grew more desperate, he never grew more lax on his skaa. And Felix knew he was desperate. The letter in his bag attested to the fact. It wasn't difficult to reseal a letter with a candle. Felix supposed Odell just didn't consider a skaa slave capable of such intracacies. If I have anything to say about it, that will be his downfall. Not that Odell needed any help; he was close to driving the plantation to bankruptcy as it was.

Felix waited patiently at a canal bridge until it there was room enough to cross. He hoped he was going the right way. Still, the map Odell had given him was proving accurate so far, though it was missing a few newer additions to the city. As he waited next to a pair of skaa workers, he caught a snatch about unrest and the Casuana ball last week. It might be nothing, but it's probably worth looking into once this is over with.

Felix saw some kind of disturbance behind him, and craned his neck to see its source. He shivered as he saw his first steel inquisitor striding purposefully through the crowd. The press of people seemed to shrink back as the creature drew near, carrying a bubble of open and deserted pavement around itself in an otherwise packed street. The twin spikes in the creature's eye sockets seemed to survey those around it, skaa and nobles of all types. Its face, which would have been that of any nobleman except for the spikes that twisted its visage, was impassive as it continued towards the palace district. Lord ruler... What are they?Felix had heard stories of coarse… But the monstrosity that stood before him could not have been captured in a thousand stories.

Focus on the letter, he reminded himself. Felix kept his head down and hurried across the bridge, away from the inquisitor.

The top of keep Lekal jutted up over shorter buildings surrounding it. The tall pyramid roof was resplendent in a few patches, flashing it's brightly colored glass windows, but in most places coated in a fine layer of black ash. Felix approached the gate to the keep.

A guard spotted him at the gate. "What do you want?" he asked in a bored voice. "I have a message here for Lord Lekal, from Richard Odell." Felix explained. The guard nodded, instructed Felix to wait at the gate, and walked away leaving Felix with the other guard stationed at the gate. Felix avoided eye contact with the silent guard, waiting patiently. He was nearly finished. The guard returned shortly with a servant following. “You have a message?” the servant inquired. Though Felix had never seen one before, he guessed by the colorful pattern of the servant's robes and his accent that he was a terrisman. Felix nodded. "From the Odell plantation," he explained. Felix held out the message in question for the terrisman's inspection. "Odell?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "Lord Lekal is expecting news from him." Not good news, Felix thought. He spent a good three paragraphs on a sufficiently deferential introduction before dancing around the plantation's finances. "Thank you. I will take this to Lord Lekal. You can get back to the plantation now," the terrisman said, accepting the letter from Felix. Felix nodded and left.

Felix retraced his steps back to the cracks, which he had passed through when he entered Luthadel through the copper gate. He didn’t intend to pass under the copper gate a second time.

Edited by DrakeMarshall, 30 June 2016 - 07:04 AM.

#2 Comatose

  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

House Raisaal

Posted 24 June 2016 - 01:22 AM

As far as first impressions go, I really like Felix, so good work! He seems well rounded, and his viewpoint is interesting to read from.

Issue One: We already have a Felix in the RP. While, realistically, names would be repeated all the time in the Empire, we try to keep player character names different just to avoid confusion amongst players. That being said, the other Felix is a noble, so his and this Felix's paths probably won't cross too much. I'll leave the final decision up to Moru, who plays Felix Fathvell on this point.

Issue Two: The reading. Reading is very uncommon for skaa, so I'd like more detail on how Felix's aunt learned to read, why she decided to start teaching him, and how she taught him without proper books or materials.

Issue Three: This one is small at nit-picky, but Terris Stewards are very valuable. While a House like Lekal could probably afford to keep one at the gates at all times, it seems like a waste of such a well trained servant. I'd say either Felix drops the message off with another skaa, or a guard watching the gate calls for the Terris Steward to come get the letter, and then the Terris Steward comes down. To me, the second option makes more sense, and then you still get to react to the Terrisman.

Issue Four: It's okay to have an unsnapped character, but you should know that you will be responsible for plotting out how and when your character snaps. Other players can help, but you'll have to take initiative. We aren't going to snap him for you ;).

Issue Five: For the rebellion, while you can leave the history and the RP sample as is, I would recommend setting Felix's arrival a week or more in the past, and then start the RP with him already having joined the rebellion. Recruitment scenes have been difficult to arrange and play through in the past, and having him already recruited will help speed things along and get him integrated right away. Also, in the history and personality, I'd like to see more reasons why Felix is drawn to the rebellion. Right now, he's feeling a little apathetic about life, and people generally don't risk their lives for the rebellion unless they are really passionate. I'd recommend delving into the reason Felix wants to join the rebellion, and find a scene where you can showcase that emotion and reasoning.

Anyways, aside from these small criticisms, the character seems to be in good shape, and your writing is strong, so we would be happy to start plotting with you in the RP. As you make suggested revisions, feel free to start posting in the "Plotting" sub-forum, and we can see about fitting Felix in somewhere.

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#3 Guest_DrakeMarshall_*

Posted 25 June 2016 - 06:42 PM

Thank you for your feedback.

We already have a Felix? Hm. Well I can see about changing the name if you would prefer.

As for the reading background, I will work on that. It is true that this could use some additional explanation.

In regard to the gates... Admittedly, I was wondering about how likely a Terrisman at the gates would be when I put that in.

With the unsnapped thing... Part of why I made Felix unsnapped is because I want to plot how he snaps eventually. It would be interesting to roleplay perhaps.

I have started a thread on the plotting forum to coordinate a little more with the rebellion.

#4 Comatose

  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

House Raisaal

Posted 28 June 2016 - 12:38 AM

Sounds great! For the Felix thing, I'll leave it up to Moru to decide, but I know she's pretty busy at the moment. For now, Felix will do fine.

Once the edits to the application are completed, I'll check back and see about giving my approval. You'll need approval from two staff members, and then you can get started RPing. Feel free to get plotting in the mean time *slides over to check out plotting topic.

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#5 Guest_DrakeMarshall_*

Posted 30 June 2016 - 07:06 AM

I've updated the pertinent regions to the extent I can. Now things are mostly pending an arrangement with the skaa rebellion and perhaps a name change. By the way I'm fine with changing the name and if Moru doesn't get back I'll just do that; I just haven't done so yet because I would need to think of a good replacement.

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