Jump to content


The Lord Ruler's perfect capital city, Luthadel, is doing the impossible: rebelling. Skaa half-breeds are being taught the power of Allomancy, something that the Lord Ruler's obligators said only existed in the nobility. The enslaved skaa, with their murderous benefactor, now fight back against a living god's oppression.

So, the Inquisition was formed. The nobles begin to fear assassination from all sides. The times of nobility Mistborn killing each other are over. The Steel Inquisitors look for aristocrat traitors and insurgent skaa, and the skaa try with all their strength to merely survive. The Lord Ruler's perfect Final Empire is slowly devolving into chaos.

Read the full prologue!

Topics on the forum will contain spoilers for the Mistborn Trilogy









Mistborn Series Brandon Sanderson
Allomantic Table, Symbols, and Cartography by Isaac Stewart
Luthadel Images: mking2008
Other Graphics: KChan at 17th Shard
Final Empire, Metallic Arts, and Style Guides by Chaos at 17th Shard
All original characters, places, and documentation are property of their creators. Do not reproduce or republish without permission.

A subsidiary of 17th Shard, the Official Brandon Sanderson Fansite

Grimwether Beauchamps

Noble Seeker Savant

2 replies to this topic

#1 Grimwether Beauchamps


  • Lord of House Beauchamps

1
Skaa
  • Age27

  • Relationship StatusSingle

  • OriginBeauchamps Estates, Western Dominance

  • Allomantic StatusSeeker Savant

Posted 29 November 2017 - 07:31 PM

GRIMWETHER BEAUCHAMPS
Noble Seeker Savant


Posted Image

Name/Handle: Grimwether
Contact: PM/Discord



Posted Image

Name: Grimwether Beauchamps
Type: Noble
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Place of Origin: Western Dominance
Occupation: Vintner, Bottler, Chandler
Relationship Status: Single



Posted Image

Type of Powers: Misting
Metals Used: Bronze
Degree of Skill: Advanced
Status: Known



Posted Image

Grimwether Beauchamps is a man whom many would call handsome. He often styles his dark, wavy hair to make it appear disheveled, Grim often wears stubble on his face, as if he hasn’t shaved in several days, but he keeps it constantly trimmed to appear that way. Grim’s dark eyes and dark hair contrast with his lighter skin in a way that many women would say was attractive. At 5’9”, 170 lbs., he works to keep his body in good condition, but never to the point that people would fawn over his muscles.

Grim often dons a light grey vest with intricate copper scrollwork and copper-colored stock over his dark shirt and long breeches, but he is also known to wear a dark tailored suit with copper embroidery, though not enough to affect very easily Allomantically. His dueling cane almost never leaves his side.

Posted Image

Grimwether is called frivolous by some, and self-aware by others. His insecurities drive his sense of fashion, but he also appears to be uncaring of appearance to those who are less discerning. He has great interest in fashion, but merely as a hobby. He has taken a healthy interest in his families three main trades: wine, bottles, and candles.

Grim considers himself one of the more-eligible bachelors on the scene, despite his age. His wit is seen by some as charming, but some of the more conservative nobility find is less than dashing. A curbed tongue, however, is seen as a crime to one such as him.

Grimwether’s mood can shift quickly, which is probably one of the reasons why he isn’t married yet. Though he is the head of a wealthy house, he has been known to suddenly shift to melancholy moods, or to switch from a good-natured jester to a man who will take offense to anything. He is good at making friends, but generally less-talented at keeping them.

He has focused on improving his dueling prowess due to the large amount of duels he enters, though they are a miniscule amount compared to the duel-worthy offenses that are committed against him. He also has a love of poetry.

Posted Image

Special Skills: Reading, writing, mathematics, wine-tasting, cane-dueling, poetry

Strengths: Grim can weave words well-beyond others when speaking in the abstract, which enables him to write poetry and use his wit in conversations. He is very affluent, and his typically good-natured attitude makes him likeable. He has above average athleticism, and has great ability with his dueling cane. He can handle finances easily. He has tasted wine his whole life, so he naturally is able to judge it well and detect when something is off about it.

Weaknesses: Grim can be easily manipulated by Rioters and Soothers. His constant mood swings make it difficult for him to sort his emotions from emotional Allomancy, despite the fact that he is not only a Seeker, but a Savant. Grim holds grudges, so when he loses a friend, it’s often difficult for him to trust them again, even if they are working in his interest. Grimwether, while good with words and numbers, generally lacks common sense and street-smarts, which all too often leaves him struggling to recover from some sort of con or betrayal.



Posted Image

Grimwether Beauchamps stared at his father’s corpse as he waited to die. He had known this man for twenty-five years – since the year 890, when Grim’s mother had died giving birth to him. Laurent Beauchamps was – had been – a kind man, yet a shrewd businessman. Laurent, and his father Frederic before him, had brought the middle-aged house from insignificance to a powerful economic force in the west.

Now there was nobody. All dead. Why? Why did his father insist on travelling to Belinsk? They could have waited until the next week, as Grimwether had suggested. Yes, they had family there, but they could have finished negotiating the Forhomme contract. Now they were dead, or dying. Dying!

Despite the expectation that Grim’s life would be taken, the skaa never returned to the room that contained both he and the corpses of those they had killed. The sounds of fighting around Bellamy Keep, the keep of one of the more prominent families in Belinsk, started to fade. Grim struggled to his feet, keeping his hand steady against the knife-wound on his left arm.

Grim’s dueling cane lay broken on the floor, next to the corpse of a skaa. A broken weapon and a dead man. That certainly described House Beauchamps at this point.



Grimwether had wanted to be a duelist as a youth. His father, hardly the paragon for a strong leader, and always one who was constantly in some sort of trouble with some Canton or another for his unorthodoxy, had a skaa named Coop who had tried to escape the vineyards, wounding several guards in the process, teach him.

Coop knew next to nothing about dueling. Laurent, however, a shrewd businessman who saw that Coop would provide little as a farmer, especially after showing that he could overpower a guard, told Grim that it would be better to have the skaa teach what he could about fighting to Grim, rather than the other skaa.

Coop taught Grimwether toughness. Or, well, he helped to encourage it. Coop said that you couldn’t teach toughness, but Grim already had everything he needed to be tough. He started teaching Grim how to wrestle.

After a time, Laurent offered Coop the opportunity to leave, but Coop refused it, instead choosing to stay and keep training Grim. As a reward, Laurent gave Coop’s family desired jobs among the skaa, such as working as maids around the keep. Eventually, Grim began to pick up on dueling on his own, using Coop as a sparring partner. Their unorthodox duels often turned into brutal wrestling matches, but Grim eventually became proficient with the dueling cane around the age of fourteen, though he was hardly an expert.



Grim took up his father’s dueling cane, made up of black hardwood, with smooth glass studs lining the top. He heard groaning in the corner of the room. He limped over to that area, and found Chauncey there, still breathing. There was a long, shallow cut along Chauncey’s ribs. Grimwether tore his coat, wrapping it into a poor bandage around Chauncey’s chest. He wasn’t trained as an apothecary. The closest thing House Beauchamps had to medicine was their wine!

He shook Chauncey, who yelped in pain. “Probably not a great idea,” Grim muttered to himself. Chauncey’s eyes fluttered open.

“Grim? Is that you?” He coughed several times.

“Yes, Chauncey, it’s me. The skaa have moved on. We need to get out of here, before they burn the place down. Father’s dead, but I’m not letting you burn with the rest of them. Not when you could live.”



Sygzen, the family’s steward, taught Grim mathematics, reading, and writing. Laurent encouraged scholarly growth, and often had Grim and his cousin Chauncey help Sygzen with the house’s ledgers. Grim secretly loved his time working on the ledgers. He would often try to brighten Chauncey’s mood with his witty wordplay, and he caused poor Sygzen to break his composure several times.

Chauncey and Grim became fast friends. Chauncey’s father, Flambard Beauchamps, was the head of the Vineyards that House Beauchamps owned, while Laurent ran the Bottling Association and was the chairman of the Final Empire’s Candlemaker’s Guild. Laurent took Chauncey and Grimwether on trips to Fadrex City or Luthadel on occasion, giving them a break from the sprawling country estates that the Beauchamps called home, while also teaching them not to be awed by the city.

Lady Isolde Beauchamps, Chauncey’s mother, was closer to the Ministry’s approximation of a proper noble. She beat Chauncey occasionally, though Laurent turned a blind eye. He told Grim that while he wouldn’t beat his family, he wouldn’t encourage others to dissent from societal norms, as he did.

Despite the beatings, Chauncey never Snapped. Eventually, Flambard and Isolde figured that Chauncey didn’t have any Allomantic abilities.

Several years ago, Chauncey married Lady Cerise Bellamy, a coinshot whose family lived in the Farmost Dominance’s capital city, Belinsk. Cerise and Chauncey had tried to match Grimwether up with others for courtships, but the relationships never seemed to last.



Now it was a possibility that none of Grimwether’s familial ties would survive. The scent of smoke began to fill the air. Fire. As he and Chauncey limped through the manor, Chauncey began to call out. “Cerise! Cerise! Where are you?”

Shuffling up ahead. Grim tensed, his injured arm slipping down to grasp his father’s dueling cane. A skaa turned the corner, holding a club. He’d come to finish the job the others had started earlier. Grim released Chauncey, letting his poor cousin fall to the ground, grunting in pain.

“You bastards,” Grim said coldly. “You killed my father!”

The skaa smiled grimly. “Another tyrant dead, then. Good.” He charged.

Something in Grim changed as the man charged. Grim screamed, and suddenly he could feel pulses of energy emanating from the man, vibrations of power coursing through his veins. This skaa was no ordinary skaa. There was something different about him.

The skaa swung his club, and Grim attempted to dodge, but it traveled faster than it should have, brutally hitting Grimwether on the hip. A pewterarm, then. Grim crumpled to the ground. As the skaa came to finish him off, Grim felt another series of waves, this time coming from beyond the Thug.

Suddenly, the skaa grunted, turning down the hallway. Grim saw a crossbow bolt poking out of the Thug’s back. He looked down the hallway, where a pair of figures stood. Sygzen. Cerise. She held another crossbow bolt in her hand, and suddenly, it flew down the hallway towards the Thug. He tried to dodge, but even his superhuman reflexes weren’t quick enough for him to escape completely unscathed. He jumped to the side, but the bolt buried itself deep into the back of his leg, right above the heel.

The skaa stumbled quickly towards Cerise, but not fast enough. Grim got up on one arm and swung the dueling cane with as much force as he could muster, bringing it down into the leg with the bolt, cracking the ankle and pushing the bolt in farther. The skaa screamed and fell down, despite the pewter. Cerise pushed another bolt into the man, this time in his neck. He gurgled, then was still. Grim stared at the skaa. “You killed my father. He was innocent. A better man than any other I’ve known.”

Cerise and Sygzen rushed over. Sygzen helped Grim up, while Cerise knelt over Chauncey. Finally, though, the wounds caught up with Grimwether, and everything faded.



Posted Image

When he awoke, he was in his family’s manor. In his father’s quarters. His quarters, now. Grimwether sat up in the bed, finding his injuries tightly wrapped with bandages. His hip was tender, but otherwise, he felt well.

“I am glad to see you’re awake, Lord Grimwether.” Grim looked to the side to see a tired-looking Sygzen sitting in a chair in the corner.

“What happened?”

“Skaa uprising. They burned down most of Belinsk. Bellamy wasn’t the only target. Cerise and I got you and Chauncey out of the keep. We escaped the city with several noble refugees. When we arrived here, I’m certain that Lady Isolde wanted you dead, and she denied the apothecary entry when they tried to operate on you, but Lord Flambard insisted that you be treated.

“News travelling to and from Farmost has ceased. The Ministry has it under wraps. I have reason to believe that Farmost wasn’t the end goal, however. It’s isolated, but the Lord Ruler could always just send a large enough force and win it back. In order for anyone to truly have a lasting rebellion, there is only one target that makes sense: Luthadel.

“Chauncey said that he owes you his life, and both Cerise and I share that sentiment. If it weren’t for you, Chauncey would have been left in that room and burned to death. Lord Flambard has agreed that you are the new Lord Beauchamps, though it took some convincing from Chauncey that it would be more beneficial to your uncle to remain as the head of the Vineyards, where he would have more financial freedom.

“I don’t think Flambard wants to rule House Beauchamps, but Lady Isolde probably wants him to. She was always an ambitious one.”

“Wow, Sygzen. That was almost gutsy! I’ve never heard you speak of the household that way.”

The terrisman blushed. “This is how I spoke with your father. He preferred that I be frank in my assessments. If you want, I can stop.”

Grim stroked his chin, thoughtful. “No. No. I’ll need your help, Sygzen, in what is to come.”

“What is that?” the steward asked inquisitively.

“Excellent question, though I’m not certain why it’s relevant to the conversation. I suppose ‘that’ means whatever I want it to mean. It’s what makes it such a splendid word.” Grim winked at the steward.

“You know what I meant, Lord.”

“I do. Ashes, but I do. Luthadel, you said? Very well. For now, I will mend. I will make certain that everything is in place. We will keep watch. Post spies in Luthadel, and in the rest of the cities that you think are relevant. I want to know every time a nobleman decides to use the restroom. As detailed of a spy network as we can afford. The revenue from the Bottler’s Association will go there. We’d still have plenty to spare. My father had a strong spy network, I trust?”

Sygzen nodded. “Your house has one of the better ones in the Empire, but nowhere near the strength of one of the Great Houses’ networks. I will do my best.”

“And what if you were incompetent? You best would hardly be sufficient.”

“You’re trying too hard with your wordplay right now, my lord. What is your goal? Are you hoping to avoid another rebellion?”

“Of course not! They’re rather large. I’m not sure if even a Pewterarm has good enough reflexes to avoid one, if it’s charging at him.” Grim’s demeanor shifted, and the light-heartedness faded from his eyes. “No. I’m going to find the insurgency. I will find the one who started all of this. Then I’ll kill him.”



Three years later, Grimwether Beauchamps, Lord of Beauchamps, sat in a coach as it entered Luthadel, the capital city of the Final Empire. Sygzen had just purchased a manor in the Silver Quarter, where House Beauchamps would now be permanently based. This was it.

As Grim entered the city, something seemed to change. He couldn’t feel any Allomantic pulses nearby, but this was similar. It was… different. His goal was near.

The insurgents were here. This, several spies had confirmed. He had a handful within their ranks, including Coop, who had respected Grim’s father almost as much as Grim had. They would eventually find the identity of this “Shade” who led the uprising. As soon as that happened, Laurent Beauchamps would be avenged.

Exoneration would come.

Edited by Grimwether, 01 December 2017 - 09:50 PM.


#2 Moru

229
Member of Lucille Deveaux's Book Club

Posted 11 December 2017 - 12:00 AM

Grimwether is off to a good start! I am glad you're so eager to get to plotting with everyone and to get writing with us. I am also excited that there's another wine house in the making, it makes plots pretty interesting.

I do have a few questions and notes before I am able to accept him, and these are mostly just things for you to think about and decide how or if you'll incorporate them. I think that the history is written really creatively, but I do think it was a little bit harder to understand, which is why it took me awhile to get back to you. I think that it's better to do it in linear fashion, or to break up the sections with time jump markings (like "***" on its own line in between sections) just because I had to read several times through to make sure I'm getting his timeline correct.

These first two things are things that have to be addressed:

The first thing I noticed is his age. I want to make sure I'm reading it correctly. Our current RP is in the year 918. In his history, you have him being born in 890 I think, which is 28 years (the age at the beginning of the app is listed as 27). Some clarity there would be good.

Next - and this is probably the most important. You call him a bronze Savant a couple of times in the app, at the beginning, and in the headline of the app, but I don't see much basis in the body of his history that would make me believe he really is a Savant. If he Snaps during the fight after his father dies, that would only leave 2-3 years for him to practice his new abilities. If you want him to be a savant, he would have to spend time cultivating the ability, and burning almost constantly every moment he's awake from when he Snaps. and simply having him Snap earlier and spend more time practicing could help with the believability, but he can also be an advanced bronze user and not be savant level.

The rest is mostly my personal notes about the character that you can choose to ignore (and I'll still accept him), but it's something to be thinking about to make Grimwether better than he already is.

Grimwether is (or rather: was born) the heir of the house, and it'd be nice to see a bit of his father trying to instill those shrewd business skills he has into his son, because presumably, Grimwether is being groomed to take on the role of Lord Beauchamps when his father dies. The steward wouldn't be able to teach him all that he needs to know, in that instance. That also might make it an easy way to add in Grimwether taking an interest in the house's business as well - because you tell us he has an interest and experience with it, but you don't show us that he's interested by having him learn it or spend time doing it at all in his history. I guess you could think about it like... If someone were to tell you that they love bananas, but you never saw them spend any time eating bananas, you'd start to question if they actually like them. Does that make sense?

The only other thing that I saw that might need attention is again, a bit of a personal hitch for me. I love fight scenes, and they're super hard to write. I think you did a great job with it overall, but in that fight with the Thug in the history, you say that the Thug gives him a "brutal" blow to the hip and Grim crumples to the floor. If you're burning pewter, you're strong. Very strong. A brutal blow would probably crush the hip bone, and would be intensely painful, but Grim doesn't seem to react to that pain, except to fall on the ground. Even through adrenaline that he probably has coursing through him, I think he'd probably be in a lot more pain that he's exhibiting. This is just my personal opinion, but adrenaline only carries you so far. So you can choose to change that or leave it the same, I just thought I'd point out that it stuck out to me.

Posted Image

Posted Image


#3 Grimwether

1
Skaa

Posted 12 December 2017 - 02:43 AM

Thank you so much for this feedback! It's honest, and I love that, because it gives me an opportunity to improve. Those are all serious issues, and I agree on the last two points especially. I will edit the application and re-submit. Once again, thanks!





2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users