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The Lord Ruler's perfect capital city, Luthadel, is doing the impossible: rebelling. Skaa half-breeds are being taught the power of Allomancy, something that the Lord Ruler's obligators said only existed in the nobility. The enslaved skaa, with their murderous benefactor, now fight back against a living god's oppression.

So, the Inquisition was formed. The nobles begin to fear assassination from all sides. The times of nobility Mistborn killing each other are over. The Steel Inquisitors look for aristocrat traitors and insurgent skaa, and the skaa try with all their strength to merely survive. The Lord Ruler's perfect Final Empire is slowly devolving into chaos.

Read the full prologue!

Topics on the forum will contain spoilers for the Mistborn Trilogy









Mistborn Series © Brandon Sanderson
Allomantic Table, Symbols, and Cartography by Isaac Stewart
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Owne



8 replies to this topic

#1 Owne Izenry

0
Skaa

Posted 11 June 2012 - 08:39 AM

This is my application for an Obligator. Tell me if anything needs to be changed, like if he needs a last name or I got any of the details wrong. Thank you.

EDIT: Only changed the formatting so far.
EDIT2: Changed history to remove boring Mistborn brother. Also left the last name empty until a proper House can be decided.
EDIT3: Added Owen's last name Izenry.

Owne Izenry
Obligator Seeker



Player Information
Name/Handle: whynaut
OoC Account:
Contact Information: [email protected]

Character Information
Name: Owne Izenry
Type: Obligator
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Place of Origin: Eastern Dominance
Occupation: Canton of Finance Obligator
Relationship Status: Single

Powers
-Type: Misting
-Metal(s) Used: Bronze
-Degree of Skill: Advanced
-Status: Known

Appearance: Owne is surprisingly tall but lanky and awkward. He would almost look like an Terrisman if not for his perpetual slouch. Owne wears glasses and his tattoos mark him as a middle grade Obligator in the Canton of Finance.

Special Skills: Finance, Mathematics, Reading, Knowledge of Allomancy, Eastern Street Slang
Strengths: Owne is a consummate student. He studies his subjects with eagerness and fervor. When he discovered he was a Seeker, he put that same passion into the study of Allomancy.
Weaknesses: Owne has absolutely no fighting ability whatsoever. He is also a coward and likely the first person to run in a fight.

Personality: Anyone who meets Owne immediately sees him as an idiot. Admittedly he is blunt, uncouth, naiveté, and scatterbrained; but his mind is actually quite sharp. He can calculate complex sums in his head and has a near total recall of almost everything he has read. Granted his lack of edict would have made him a pariah as a Nobleman, but as an Obligator his rank gives him much immunity from much of that sort of thing.

History: Owne was born in the lifeless clay flats of the Eastern Dominance in 888. He was of House Izenry who made their living mining precious metals.

Owne was one of two sons. He was a Seeker and his brother Wrent was a Soother. As the eldest, Owne was set up to inherit the family fortune. However even at a young age Owne was an eccentric. He would speak constantly to anyone who would listen and often in that abominable Eastern street slang. All this made no difference to Owne's father, a stark traditionalist, but it made a world of difference to Wrent. With little Soothing Owne's father became sullenly aware of all of Owne's faults. Owne was quickly declared unfit to lead House Izenry. In fact, Owne was to be exiled and sent to the Steel Ministry.

It was fortunate for Owne that he actually excelled at Ministry work. His knack for numbers made him an ideal candidate to work in the Canton of Finance. If Owne had a problem it was that, like in his own house, he lacked the aura of authority that the Ministry tries to project. In this case though this just meant he worked more from the Canton of Finance headquarters than the lavish Noble Houses.


Roleplay Sample

Owne had a lot of paperwork to finish and his pen had run out of ink.

"Could I get a pen in here?" he said.

A river of lesser Obligators ran to and fro in front of Owne's office.

"Hello?" Owne said, "Anybody? Obligator here. In need of a pen. If someone could just loan me there's for just a second."

No one took any notice of him. In fact two Obligators leaned outside Owne's office. The male Obligator of the two obviously trying to seduce the female Obligator.

"So," said the male Obligator, "What are you doing after your duty shift?"

The female Obligator giggled.

Owne stomped over to them. Their tattoos both marked them as being of lesser rank than Owne.

"Either of you," Owne said, "Pen. Please."

The male Obligator gave Owne an annoyed glance. He was chewing on something. Owne had no idea what it was, but by the Pitts it was annoying. After a moment, the male Obligator finally produced the pen.

"Thank you," Owne said, then adding, "You're not supposed to eat in here."

The two Obligators continued talking.

"Owne!" someone said just as Owne was about to sit down. The high ranking Obligator Narette's shout was such that it cut through all the noise in the corridor.

Owne took one last look at his paperwork, sighed, then went to see what Narette needed.

Narette's office was much more spacious than Owne's. Owne could feel the pulses at she burned Iron. Her door allomantically closing behind Owne.

Owne burned Bronze nearly all the time now, except when the pulsing started giving him a headache. Bronze let him know when other Allomancers were burning their metals and with practice he had learned to differentiate the metals.

"A door," Owne said, "That is a nice thing to have. I requisitioned a door for my office about a year ago now. It is hard to believe how long the Ministry takes on such things. Though I suppose that's us so it is hard to--"

"Sit," Narette said.

Owne sat immediately.

"Now then," Narette said, "I see from your file that your work has been immaculate. There is never an error in your figures."

"Thank you ma'am," Owne said, "I really do try to--"

"However," Narette said, "Your direct superiors have all made notes on your edict. One Obligator Treal noted, 'He has all the tact of a drunken koloss.'"

"Was Treal talking about the fire?" Owne said, "Because I can totally explain that. You see--"

"All that being said," Narette said. Her words were coming through her teeth now. "The Ministry has decided to put you in charge of a field team."

For the first time, Owne was speechless.

Narette continued, "There is a Great House due for an audit. Accusations have been made about numbers not adding up and we think you are ready for this responsibility."

"Lord Ruler," Owne said, "Is there a Rioter nearby because I could not be any happier. You will not regret this one bit. You can count on me one hundred and ten percent. Well not one hundred and ten percent because that would be impossible. One hundred percent at least. Okay, let us say ninety-nine point nine eight seven two repeating, you know, to account for a margin of error."

"No Owne," Narette said, "One hundred and ten percent. You are going to be dealing with one of the Great Houses. If any accusation is made against a Great House without absolute facts to back it up and I will demote you. I will not just demote you, but I will have you shaking ash from trees like a Skaa after I personally burn your Obligator tattoos off your face. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," Owne said.

"Good," Narette said, "Wait!"

Owne had turned to leave, but had now stopped dead in his tracks.

Narette burned Iron and Pulled the pen from Owne's pocket. "I needed a pen. Now get out."

"But--"

"Out!"

Owne scurried away. In a strange way Owne found himself happier and more scared than he ever been in his life.

Edited by Owne, 16 June 2012 - 03:34 PM.


#2 KChan

601
Lord Prelan

Posted 11 June 2012 - 06:49 PM

Hey there! I'm glad to see you decided to jump in and make a character. ^^ There are just a couple things I wanted to clear up before the other admins join in and take a look.
  • Owne does, in fact, need a last name. Obligators give up their allegiance to house and family when they join the Ministry, but since they come from the nobility originally, that can be an important aspect of their history.
  • It looks like some of your formatting got a little messed up, as your entire application should not be bolded and/or italicized. Please make sure the BBC tags are only around the headers/categories, like they are in the blank application. It's sort of hard to read as-is. If you want to see how the application should look when it's done, current submissions Elitriss Hasting and Trellan Alten are great examples of properly formatted apps.
  • I'm a little confused by your use of the phrase "branch family from House Tekiel." Do you mean he is an actual member of House Tekiel, or that his own house has blood ties to the Tekiels, like how House Patresen (from HoA) is a cousin family to the Elariels?
You're off to a good start! I look forward to hearing your answer. ^^

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#3 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

354
House Raisaal

Posted 11 June 2012 - 07:22 PM

Hey whynaut! I like what I see so far. Aside from KChan's points, I would also like to point out something about Owne's Mistborn brother. We currently have a lot of NPC random Mistborn brothers or sisters running around at the moment. Also, I could see several reasons why Owne's father would hesitate to make a Mistborn his heir (one being the ease with which a Mistborn could assassinate him to get the title, whereas if the Mistborn's standing in the house was directly linked to the Lord's and not hampered by it, he would be more likely to be loyal, and easier to control). Another issue with having this Mistborn brother, if Owne is a member of a House Tekiel, is that, lesser branch or not, House Tekiel itself would likely take responsibility for the deployment of said Mistborn. Mistborn are incredibly rare, so any born within the control of a Great House are going to be used however that great house sees fit.

Now, if you are set on the Mistborn brother thing, that's fine. These particular suggestions are more of an optional nature in order to keep from overly straining plausibility. What if Owne was set aside because of his tact issues? Perhaps his brother is a soother or rioter with a talent for politicking and making fast friends, and Owne's father decides that talent is superior to Owne's number crunching abilities. It might make for more character conflict (especially since, as a seeker, Owne should be able to sense his brother's manipulations), and take away the need for an extraneous Mistborn. Just my two cents.

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#4 Owne Izenry

0
Skaa

Posted 11 June 2012 - 09:19 PM

I changed the formatting to, hopefully, the correct way.

In terms of both the last name and the Tekiel relation. I originally had in mind for Owne to be a Tekiel, but did not want to overstep my bounds, so I hedged my bets and said branch family. However now that I think about it Owne should probably be from a separate family seeing as how I would rather not add the extra drama if he had to work with the Tekiels in the future. Do you have any ideas for a good Noble sounding last name?

As for the Mistborn brother, that could be easily changed. I did not realize that was already becoming a cliche. Maybe as a Soother his brother could have even ousted Owne in the first place to become the sole inheritor.

Sadly I cannot make a lot of changes this second as I am almost out the door. I will likely take another pass at this tonight though.

#5 Comatose


  • Shard of Brain Inactivity

354
House Raisaal

Posted 11 June 2012 - 11:16 PM

If you are worried about overstepping your bounds, a good idea is to PM the person in charge of the House (in this case, KChan). All the house profiles (great, major, and minor) should designate an NPC head. As things are, I'm sure if you want Owne to be a Tekiel, that could easily be arranged. It would also make his interactions with one Janus Tekiel (who was also an heir who left his house to join the ministry, but by his own choice), potentially very interesting.

If you've completely changed your mind and would prefer a minor house, take a look at the House Index. Any of the houses marked free are up for the taking. If you'd rather RP in a house that already has existing PC's in it for the increased RP possibilities, simply PM the player who runs said house. If you ever unsure about who controls a house, or if one is available, or if you have any other questions, just PM the staff and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.

Good luck with the edits, and thanks for being so cooperative :).

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#6 Owne Izenry

0
Skaa

Posted 12 June 2012 - 08:08 AM

Could I claim House Izenry? It is not marked as free, but at the same time I cannot find anyone who has claimed it. If I can't, then I will just stick with Tekiel, however Owne's inheritance would be that of a smaller house within Tekiel, like a cousin or something, and not the entire Great House itself.

Otherwise my application is mostly done.

#7 Chaos

112
Aaron Elariel's Math Skills

Posted 14 June 2012 - 09:11 PM

It's fine if you want Izenry, that works fine for Owne. Are you planning to have a noble Izenry? I'm cool with you if you are, I just need to tell you some things related to Izenry that would be more pertinent info if you had a noble as well. Otherwise, not really concerned.


#8 Owne Izenry

0
Skaa

Posted 16 June 2012 - 03:38 PM

I just added Izenry as the last name.

I have no immediate plans to make a noble. Though I may decide to make one in the future, for now I think I will just stick to one character.

#9 Chaos

112
Aaron Elariel's Math Skills

Posted 17 June 2012 - 09:08 PM

Owne is accepted! :)

I have to go to work at the moment, and don't have computer access, but I need to send you a PM about which Great House I think will be good for you to investigate ;)

(Spoiler alert: I'm thinking Casuana)

I'm eager to RP with him! I'll PM you or IM you. We'll figure something awesome out.






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