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The Lord Ruler's perfect capital city, Luthadel, is doing the impossible: rebelling. Skaa half-breeds are being taught the power of Allomancy, something that the Lord Ruler's obligators said only existed in the nobility. The enslaved skaa, with their murderous benefactor, now fight back against a living god's oppression.

So, the Inquisition was formed. The nobles begin to fear assassination from all sides. The times of nobility Mistborn killing each other are over. The Steel Inquisitors look for aristocrat traitors and insurgent skaa, and the skaa try with all their strength to merely survive. The Lord Ruler's perfect Final Empire is slowly devolving into chaos.

Read the full prologue!

Topics on the forum will contain spoilers for the Mistborn Trilogy

Mistborn Series Brandon Sanderson
Allomantic Table, Symbols, and Cartography by Isaac Stewart
Luthadel Images: mking2008
Other Graphics: KChan at 17th Shard
Final Empire, Metallic Arts, and Style Guides by Chaos at 17th Shard
All original characters, places, and documentation are property of their creators. Do not reproduce or republish without permission.

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Member Since 31 Jul 2017
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Posts I've Made

In Topic: Lailen Raisaal

19 September 2018 - 03:20 AM

I really like this character! Absolutely love the unique way she uses bronze. I do think you repeated her name quite a lot during the first part of her story, and would've liked to see more synonyms or different ways of calling her, just to avoid that. However, that's just a small detail.
On a personal side-note, I'd like to see more of her noble side; Nightswift is really interesting, but Lailen herself will have to appear quite a lot during her stay in Luthadel. I'd like to see how well she can fit among the other nobles. I'm not saying you should add any of this to your app, of course, It's just one thing I would've liked to see, at least for a bit.

Again, I really like her story and personality. I can't approve your app or anything like that since I'm no admin, but I wanted to at least leave some of my thoughts here :D

In Topic: MBI's Face Registry

16 September 2018 - 06:58 PM

So, completely forgot to do this before:

Maximillian Driskell is myself,
Elliott Faarskar is Jonathan Keltz,
Lucien Faarskar is Ralph Fiennes,
and Ollie is Torrance Coombs.

In Topic: Lara - Skaa Smoker

03 September 2018 - 03:07 AM

Alright, just a few quick things, but first of all, remember that I'm no admin or anything like that, so this will be just an opinion.

'“I’m sorry,” said the nobleman. “I did, too. I think I’m on your side.” He said this in a hushed whisper, while making sure that no one important - seeming was nearby.' I think "-seeming" is a mistake, isn't it? Maybe it was supposed to be "-seemingly-" or something like that, or maybe my English is just failing.

When Lara enters the room with the skaa, they almost immediately take her in and give her a vial of metals. I'm thinking -just to add a few details to the story- one or more of them could be instantly kind to her, while one remains hesitant and doesn't really want to let her in. I think it would be natural, given the fact that they are rebels. Secrecy must be quite important for them. Also, they give her the vial of metals without asking almost anything. Maybe they'd ask her if she's an Allomancer, or why was Lane interested in her, and if she doesn't know what to say -or if she's still too frightened to answer-, the kindest of the group could offer her a drink or something like that.

All of what I just said about the skaa in the room isn't just useful to give the story a few deeper details; it will help people stand in Lara's shoes. By showing how everyone in the group is -or at least the most important ones-, and by giving the people a short description, as well as Lara's opinion on each of them, you'll give the readers a more emotional connection to your character, therefore making Lara feel a lot more natural, believable. Just to give you an example, I'd really suggest you re-read the introduction of Kelsier's crew in Mistborn, when they enter Camon's lair and meet Vin for the first time. The way Brandon gives insight on Vin's thoughts about each of the members of the group -specially Clubs and Breeze- is something I always loved.

Again, this is just an opinion, and I'm no admin or anything like that. Hope you find this comment useful!

In Topic: A Fine Vintage

26 August 2018 - 09:30 PM

Victor Cairhaim’s family introduction had obviously been planned in detail. Elliott would have preferred something more authentic or improvised, but he decided to play along anyway. He looked at the young Cairhaim boy in front of him, took the bottle of wine from his hands, and nodded politely in Lord Cairhaim’s direction.

“Thank you,” he said, carefully putting the bottle on the table in front of him. A servant came quickly and, after looking at him to get a confirmation, opened the bottle and poured a bit of wine into six cups.

Elliott took his cup and leaned back, looking at the family in front of him. He hadn’t felt any Allomantic pulses so far, but he knew, thanks to Veeras, that Victor Cairhaim was a Rioter. Either the man hadn’t used his Allomancy yet, or there was a Coppercloud in the room. Taking a sip of his wine, he decided to flare his bronze for a moment, hoping to at least detect a soft pulse.

Nothing. No rhythm to follow, no music to make the meeting more interesting. At least the wine wasn’t bad. Elliott didn’t know much about wine, save for the fact that he liked drinking it.

“This wine’s really good,” he said, smiling softly. Not knowing what else to say, he decided to just take another sip of his wine, and stay in silence, his eyes travelling from one member of House Cairhaim to the next. Lord Cairhaim’s obviously rehearsed introduction made one thing pretty clear; either they performed the same act for every noble man and woman they met, or they had an interest in House Faarskar. Either way, Elliott was sure that Victor would speak again soon.

In Topic: A Fine Vintage

29 July 2018 - 03:20 AM

Elliott woke up feeling just as tired as before. The trip had been exhausting, and Avril's visit, though pleasant, had left his mind troubled with many questions regarding the mysterious members of House Sorelle.

He dressed up as quickly as he could, though he took a moment to comb his hair and make sure his grey shirt and dark blue vest looked right, -elegant, yet not too stiff-. Finally, he clipped the silver family sigil on his vest, downed one of his vials -filled with water and bronze shavings-, and headed downstairs, following Veeras.

Lord Victor Cairhaim and his children waited in a sitting room downstairs. Veeras held the door for Elliott to enter, and he nodded toward the terrisman gratefully as he passed, then turned to acknowledge the visitors.

“Lord Cairhaim,” he said, smiling as always. Memories of Avril’s visit still lingered in his mind, but he wasn’t going to let that distract him from the meeting. “It’s a pleasure to have you and your family here.”

Truth be told, that wasn’t entirely true. Elliott still felt tired, and he wasn’t getting any Allomantic pulses from the Cairhaim family, which was a bit disappointing. However, being visited so soon after arriving made him feel important, and socializing with other nobles was something Elliott had always enjoyed. Besides, Veeras had told him that Victor was a Rioter, so a part of Elliott was hoping to take an advantage of that, if possible.

Elliott sat in a coach as a skaa servant came through the door, carrying some cups on a silver tray. He looked at each of the visitors, his eyes lingering on the eldest daughter for just a moment. The blue dress fit the young noblewoman really well. Actually, it seemed like all of them cared deeply about their looks. Unlike Avril, he thought, images from her dress coming to him. That’s a shame. I’m sure she’d look even prettier in a more fitting dress…

Lord Ruler, Elliott, focus!

Elliott looked down, his face reddened just a bit -partially for staring at the young lady in front of him so bluntly, but mostly for thinking such insulting things about Avril-.

“I’m sorry I kept you all waiting,” he said, trying to break the silence before it got more awkward. “I was having some rest. The trip proved to be more tiring than I had imagined.”