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The Lord Ruler's perfect capital city, Luthadel, is doing the impossible: rebelling. Skaa half-breeds are being taught the power of Allomancy, something that the Lord Ruler's obligators said only existed in the nobility. The enslaved skaa, with their murderous benefactor, now fight back against a living god's oppression.

So, the Inquisition was formed. The nobles begin to fear assassination from all sides. The times of nobility Mistborn killing each other are over. The Steel Inquisitors look for aristocrat traitors and insurgent skaa, and the skaa try with all their strength to merely survive. The Lord Ruler's perfect Final Empire is slowly devolving into chaos.

Read the full prologue!

Topics on the forum will contain spoilers for the Mistborn Trilogy

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The Three Metallic Arts
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Mistborn Series Brandon Sanderson
Allomantic Table, Symbols, and Cartography by Isaac Stewart
Luthadel Images: mking2008
Other Graphics: KChan at 17th Shard
Final Empire, Metallic Arts, and Style Guides by Chaos at 17th Shard
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Member Since 31 Jul 2017
Offline Last Active Jul 31 2019 08:48 PM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Rikor-Skaa Rioter

16 January 2019 - 01:52 AM

Thanks for updating the app! Everything seems alright to me now, so I'm glad to say it's an approved from me!

Remember you still need an approval from one of the admins before you can start posting as Rikor :D

In Topic: Rikor-Skaa Rioter

14 January 2019 - 11:33 PM

Hi! I really like Rikor's personality, and personally love the way he uses his Allomancy while fighting.

There's one thing that I'll have to ask you to revise, though. "Many of his physical traits are defined by his zinc deficiency, because of his allomancy." This doesn't really fit into the canon we've seen so far, since Allomancers ingest metal to burn, but they can't burn any metal that has already been metabolized by their bodies. Because of this, Allomancy couldn't have caused Rikor's zinc deficiency. What makes this detail really important is its influence on Rikor's physique. Maybe he's malnourished or has a vitamin deficiency because he's skaa?

Aside from the zinc deficiency detail, I really like this app, though I'll have to hold the approval until that's changed. If you need to anything, feel free to PM me on Discord!

In Topic: A Fine Vintage

05 December 2018 - 03:31 AM

"Ah, yes", Elliott said, smiling. Victor's mention of House Sorelle brought back a few images about Elliott's meeting with Lady Avril, earlier that day.

"As a matter of fact, Lady Avril Sorelle was here when I arrived, waiting to show me the place." He looked down at his cup of wine, remembering her standing at the entrance. "She's an... interesting lady."

She was more than just interesting. There was something really intriguing about her. Her attitude, her shifts in mood, the way she burned pewter... Elliott found himself wanting to spend more time with her, to get to know her better.

Focus, Elliott!

He looked up suddenly, meeting Lord Cairhaim's eyes. How long had he been distracted? Elliott noticed he'd been absently tapping the floor with his right foot, following the rhythm of a children's song. The one Avril had played on the piano.

The music made Elliott think of something else. Something that he'd been thinking of during most of his trip to Fellise. He looked from left to right, his eyes stopping briefly on each member of House Cairhaim, "So," he said, laying back on his seat, his smile widening at the sudden thought of couples dancing to the music. "Will you all be going to the balls? I must admit, I'm pretty excited about them".

In Topic: Lailen Raisaal

19 September 2018 - 03:20 AM

I really like this character! Absolutely love the unique way she uses bronze. I do think you repeated her name quite a lot during the first part of her story, and would've liked to see more synonyms or different ways of calling her, just to avoid that. However, that's just a small detail.
On a personal side-note, I'd like to see more of her noble side; Nightswift is really interesting, but Lailen herself will have to appear quite a lot during her stay in Luthadel. I'd like to see how well she can fit among the other nobles. I'm not saying you should add any of this to your app, of course, It's just one thing I would've liked to see, at least for a bit.

Again, I really like her story and personality. I can't approve your app or anything like that since I'm no admin, but I wanted to at least leave some of my thoughts here :D

In Topic: Lara - Skaa Smoker

03 September 2018 - 03:07 AM

Alright, just a few quick things, but first of all, remember that I'm no admin or anything like that, so this will be just an opinion.

'“I’m sorry,” said the nobleman. “I did, too. I think I’m on your side.” He said this in a hushed whisper, while making sure that no one important - seeming was nearby.' I think "-seeming" is a mistake, isn't it? Maybe it was supposed to be "-seemingly-" or something like that, or maybe my English is just failing.

When Lara enters the room with the skaa, they almost immediately take her in and give her a vial of metals. I'm thinking -just to add a few details to the story- one or more of them could be instantly kind to her, while one remains hesitant and doesn't really want to let her in. I think it would be natural, given the fact that they are rebels. Secrecy must be quite important for them. Also, they give her the vial of metals without asking almost anything. Maybe they'd ask her if she's an Allomancer, or why was Lane interested in her, and if she doesn't know what to say -or if she's still too frightened to answer-, the kindest of the group could offer her a drink or something like that.

All of what I just said about the skaa in the room isn't just useful to give the story a few deeper details; it will help people stand in Lara's shoes. By showing how everyone in the group is -or at least the most important ones-, and by giving the people a short description, as well as Lara's opinion on each of them, you'll give the readers a more emotional connection to your character, therefore making Lara feel a lot more natural, believable. Just to give you an example, I'd really suggest you re-read the introduction of Kelsier's crew in Mistborn, when they enter Camon's lair and meet Vin for the first time. The way Brandon gives insight on Vin's thoughts about each of the members of the group -specially Clubs and Breeze- is something I always loved.

Again, this is just an opinion, and I'm no admin or anything like that. Hope you find this comment useful!